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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate doing the school run with 3 yr old DD

54 replies

CatsSleepAnywhere · 24/04/2012 16:08

I have no choice but to take her with me but I just hate the stress that is involved. She has reached the age where she is too big for pram/buggy to big for reigns although sometimes I use a "little life" bag with a reign attached.

I just hate the anxiety of trying to keep her safe near roads. I know one day she is going to have to learn that traffic can be dangerous and I do make her hold hands to cross the road.

I don't know if my anxiety comes from me being involved in a traffic accident as a child so maybe that makes me extra worried.

AIBU?

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 24/04/2012 16:40

The point is even if she makes a fuss it makes no odds as she will be strapped in Wink and safe.

butterfingerz · 24/04/2012 16:40

Depends how far you're walking? Like if she's 3, is she at preschool and will be going to school herself soon... is it not better to get her used to walking and set off a bit earlier to allow time for a bit of dawdling and stropping. Rather than her to become wimpish about walking if you're relying on the pram.

Or maybe I'm just cruel as my DD walks everywhere, come rain or shine!

gafhyb · 24/04/2012 16:43

YANBU. It's hard taking a toddler to school. They don't want to be taken somewhere where there's not much in it for them they are often very tired and/or hungry at the time, schools are often noisy and chaotic.

I hated it. Mine would v often have a tantrum in the playground. Many people must have thought he was a horrid child.

To encourage him to walk, I'd give him a sticker on his coat when we got there, but only if he had held my hand the whole way.

DilysPrice · 24/04/2012 16:43

V sympathetic, it's a tricky age. Have you tried Children's Traffic Club books (free if your local authority is signed up ie London or Scotland)

cestlamemechose · 24/04/2012 16:47

hello OP,

my 3 year old is in her buggy on the school run as the road is very busy and scary.

I have thought about letting her walk on dry days when we manage to get parked a bit closer, however, for fear she will refuse to get back in the next day, it hasn't happened. Also, the huge lorries, distracted parents dropping off etc are too much of a worry, esp if you have another child/ren to shepherd.

We do our road safety on less busy roads at less fussy times of the day. She's only 3 after all!

StrandedBear · 24/04/2012 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gafhyb · 24/04/2012 16:49

I'd do what SB suggests.

gafhyb · 24/04/2012 16:50

... and a sticker on the coat for holding hands/buggy

Indith · 24/04/2012 16:50

I often use the pushchair for my 3 year old dd and the school run.

She walks to nursery (same village as school) and walks home again at lunch but in the afternoon when we have to go back again to pick ds1 up she tends to end up in the pushchair/on a buggy board if ds2 is in pushchair rather than sling. It is the only way to stay sane.

I give reasonable choices (eg you either walk nicely holding my hand or you go in the pushchair) and if she strops then I just block my ears and drag her/wrestle her into pushchair. It passes. I combine school run with afternoon snack, that helps too!

5madthings · 24/04/2012 16:50

they either walk nicely or go in the pushchair and yes snacks are always good!

for walking i have the little back pack type reins, tho ds4 has just turned 4 and most of the time he goes on his scooter now. right from little i have shown them road safetly, stop, look, listen etc and ds4 KNOWS that he can go ahead on his scooter, but he MUST stop at roads. he doesnt go that far ahead anyway, i walk very fast to keep up! but the second he ever misbehaves is silly near a road, thats it no scootering and he walks and holds onto the pushcahir and he may well HOWL the entire time, but so what he can howl. i would rather he was crying and safe than let him get run over!

FunnysInLaJardin · 24/04/2012 16:51

I know how you feel OP. I mostly leave my 2yo in the car while taking DS1 into school for the very same reason. I just CBA with the tantrums. Pushchair is a must I think

neverquitesure · 24/04/2012 16:54

Cats you sound really tired and down and I think AIBU was a brave choice of places to post this! Is she always like this? You sound worn down.

I have always staunchly believed that, as an adult, I make the rules and, as a parent, my job is to enforce those rules. And then DD came along Grin She is the most stubborn child I have ever met and we quickly reached a point where everything I did or said was met with resistance - and I am no pushover believe me! So just before Christmas (she'd have been 20 months old at the time) I decided to pick my battles more wisely. She wants to wear her pyjama top with her jeans? Fine. No clips in her hair? Ok then. I do not and will not compromise on safety or manners but otherwise I've tried to give her more choices in other areas of her life to make her feel more in control and give DH, DS and I a little peace and quiet. Fair enough she's only 2 now, so younger than your DD (although I do have a 3 year old DS) but it's made my life a lot less stressful.

BsshBossh · 24/04/2012 16:56

Could you distract her the whole way with an inane story? That's what I did. i was so bored but she eventually learned to walk nicely and now makes up inane stories herself. She's nearly 4 and was out of a buggy at exactly 3yo.

cestlamemechose · 24/04/2012 16:57

maybe it depends on what your route is. Where our school is, I don't feel it is reasonable to rely on a 3 year old to not make any errors of judgment. Even letting go of hands just the once could be bad. It is a very busy road!

BBQJuly · 24/04/2012 17:05

Safety first - reins if necessary.

liveinazoo · 24/04/2012 17:24

its a tough one honey.

3yo can be a seperate speciesGrin

i always took buggy as a "if you dont walk nicely/hold my hand at roads youre in.no arguements"

distraction is good.is there anything you can point to on the way to look for

little zoo went through a stropbag stage and we made a map with all these kind things on it to find on the way.kept her out of mischiefWink

Original poster
CatsSleepAnywhere · 24/04/2012 17:32

The map sounds like a good idea zoo just to keep her occupied if anything.

I think I will take car in mornings if I feel it would be easier and buggy in the afternoons. The afternoons involve a bit of waiting around unless we get there just as DS comes out.

The road the school is on is fairly busy but not very busy. The other roads apart from our road are fairly quiet so a mixture.

OP posts:
pinktrees · 24/04/2012 17:33

I doubt she is actually too big for the buggy. My tall, skinny 6yo would sit in a buggy if I paid him.

rainbowsprite1 · 24/04/2012 17:40

my 4.5 yr old DD goes in a buggy sometimes on the school run... she went in this afternoon cos she had a strop. she knows the rules, walk nicely or in the buggy you go :) not sure what gets me the funniest looks, pushing an empty buggy or pushing it with my DD in... not that i actually care!!! quite amusing sometimes

having an afternoon snack to hand over to both DD's at the school also helps, i think being tired and hungry is part of the issue in the afternoon, in the mornings she is fine

DialsMavis · 24/04/2012 17:45

If she can walk properly and hold hands nicely, then she can walk, if not then its pushchair/reins and the ensuing tantrum that teaches her that she does have to do as you say. I kept a wrist link in my bag until DS was about 6, I only had to take it out of my bag at the 1st sign of messing about and he stopped sharpish. Wink

NoMoreInsomnia12 · 24/04/2012 17:46

I find it quite easy with DD2 who is now 3, but I have been walking with her to take DD1 to school or DD2 to nursery for well over a year now - though it isn't very far, and infinitely easier than the stress of trying to park, and I think crossing the car park with her is more dangerous than walking down the pavement. We still use the buggy sometimes though when we haven't left enough time as walking with her does take 15 minutes for a journey that would take me less than 10. It will be hard at first but I think the more walking you do with them the more they get used to road dangers and holding hands properly.

WhatWouldGrandmaDo · 24/04/2012 17:48

DS2 is 2.5 and can be a right pain in the arse on the school run. For now he's ALWAYS in the buggy on the way there cos his little stumpy legs just go too slow for me in 'on a mission' mode and DS1 on his scooter. Sometimes he wants to walk back and that's fine with me as we aren't in a rush then. He is a reluctant hand holder (most of the route is pedestrian only but there are a couple of roads) so any sign of aggro and I gently persuade him into the buggy. ahem.

What's worrying me is when he wants to go on his scooter too. The thought of me running after the pair of them...well I suppose it's good exercise. But nowhere to hang handbag / book bag / water bottle...

gafhyb · 24/04/2012 17:51

WhatWouldGrandmaDo

Fittingly, given your name I'd advise you to get a trolley!!!! They are brilliant (it doesn't have to be a 4-wheeled tartan one Ikea do a nice one, or Rollser do v fancy ones)

chickydoo · 24/04/2012 17:51

You are not supposed to enjoy the school run!
We all just have to deal with it

gafhyb · 24/04/2012 17:53

... well yes, not enjoyable, but if it can be made a bit easier, why not offer your wise words?