AIBU to think my sister may be an alcoholic

[frillyflower]

My sister has always liked a drink but I was a bit shocked to find out when staying with her recently that she drinks at least one bottle of white wine every night. She does this in company or alone.

I told her it seems a lot and she got really cross. AIBU in thinking she's an alcoholic?

Frilly, is she on HRT? I ask because your sister sounds like I was. I was drinking and smoking very, very heavily; got upset at the smallest of things; forever crying and it turned out I was going through the menopause.

I now no longer feel the "need" to have a drink every night. I actually feel and look a lot better too as I have had the urge to eat healthily and try and get fit.

Sometimes we just don't know why we do things.

Not keen in the term "alcoholics" TBH and all the generalisations

Lots of people don't eat properly, so alcohol dependant people eat really well, some don't.

The two things don't go hand in hand - but if she isn't eating (which is another sign if depression) before she starts drinking then she will get pissed on very little alcohol.

I think she is depressed but she is not the sort of person who would ever admit it. She seems very (unusually) tearful.
She also seems to eat a lot of 'bad' food - takeaways and cakes - but she does eat.
Unfortunately I don't live close enough to see her more often than every few weeks.

Some

Yes she is going through the menopause but the drinking has been going on longer than that. Maybe she will stop drinking so much when the meno is over?

sensual - well said.

suburbophobe, not just AA, my study was from the perspective of emergency medical care provision, and more specifically the role of ED nurses in early identification of hazardous and harmful drinkers to help them not 'progress' into the next category.

An alcohol dependent service user from my POV may be a drunk person who has fallen and sustained a head injury, or a long-term alcohol dependent person with a pancreatitis flare-up or withdrawal symptoms.

I meant from the service I worked within -they were clients or service users - NOT "addicts" or "alcoholics".

Sounds like she's depressed - wouldn't say she's an alcoholic if it really is just one bottle a day, but she's definitely got a big problem. However, if she gets annoyed and upset when you try to speak to her about it, then you just have to leave it till she realises herself that she needs help, and just be there to support her when that happens.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I feel a bit but I will try and help her if she wants it.

There is a distinction to be made between someone who is physically dependent on alcohol and could die if they gave up without medical supervision and someone whose drinking is a problem to them but who is not physically dependent. Not saying one is worse or better but that is often the distinction professionals use when defining alcoholism as opposed to problem drinking.

Your sister may be hiding some of her drinking and therefore be dependent on alcohol. She may also not be and possibly depressed and drinking too much. Depression and alcohol misuse are a bit circular and it is tough to work out what is causing what before the person stops drinking. You can't deal with this for her but if you want to talk to her about it, you could try Al-Anon and see if they are for you. I have seen people in their 70s go through rehab and acheive great recoveries. It does happen.

just a quick thought - the 'brave babes' thread has been going now for 2 years, we have had hundreds of people posting, i would reckon that at least 75% of us have suffered/are suffering with depression to a lesser or greater degree - i agree with mrstp, its terribly hard to break the cycle and from what you have said OP, your sister sounds pretty miserable - i would say, tell her you are worried, then leave it, dont nag, it really wont help, just dont drink with her, dont buy her wine, dont 'enable' her!