DH waking me up from a lie-in (glum, bottom lip poking, out referee needed)

[whatsallthefuss]

Dh wakes at 4.30 every weekday and goes to work. He never wakes me.
I wake up at 7 and get DD ready for school etc

On a weekend we like a lie-in, but he always wakes me at 9.
Now this pisses me off becuase technically he has a 4.5 hour lie in and i have a 2 hour lie in.

Also he KNOWs it will upset me becuase i've been asking him for 20 years not to.

Why does he think that his opionion (its time to wake up) is more important than my opionion (its time to sleep)

AIBU or is he?

What is he doing in the bedroom ? Is it him getting up that wakes you?

Perhaps you sleep through his noise better at 4.30 am because you are tired whereas at 9 am a knock of the bed wakes you because you have had enough sleep? I thought lie ins were bad for sleep patterns. Much better to be broadly consistent with wake up times.

I don't think you can actually ban him from moving until you are ready to wake up

I think if you are rudely awoken by him when it is your turn for a lie in then you need to be totally off duty until such a time that you would wake. Dont speak to him or be around him (so that he feels you may aswell ahve stayed in bed) or have a very long bath or something$?

OP YANBU

My parents have occasionally grumbled to me about each other but the classic issue was sleeping patterns til I shut my dad up. They have always had different patterns. Dad is a lark, up at 6am, off to bed at 10 pm. Mum is an owl, up at around 9am, and off to bed at 1am-2am. This has always been the pattern.

A few years ago Dad was grumbling as usual that mum never got up in the morning. I did what I very rarely do, and told him straight out that he was being silly (okay the words were stronger than that).

As I pointed out to Dad, mum was retired, as was he, and she had no more sleep each night than he did, and what did she have to get up for? If she has an early appointment, or something, she can get up, but otherwise why did mum have to get up just because dad did? And anyway she frequently does housework after he's gone to bed.

Dad has never grumbled since about this issue and stopped making snide comments at mum about it. (This is why I rarely involve myself in issues between parents, it has much more impact for the rarity of it.)

YANBU. It's very selfish of him to keep doing this when he knows you don't like it.

Hey MayorQ it may be just a big case of double-standards as MsV has said. I didn't take offence at your comment as I assumed it was a joke (in poor taste). Shame you took offence at mine, which was a joke (in poor taste). Oh well.

Reprimands self for having "wrong" humour and puts all Bobbitt jokes into bin

i'm really surprised at some of these responses!

if i said i was married to a man who demanded i slept when he said and woke when he said, you would all tell me to leave him for his controlling behaviour!

So you both lie in together on a Sunday? And then he gets up at 9 and wakes you up?

I would spend all day in bed in protest if he did that to me!

I bet you would only have to do it once, the threat of it again would stop him "accidentally on purpose" waking you!

YANBU if it's your turn for a lie-in and you have nothing to get up for ,then you should be able to wake up when you feel like it. Dp does this sometimes (but to be fair he works away all week so is only here at the weekend) but it still pisses me off!

bloody neighbours are at it now... half past 7 on saturday morning the neighbour next door starts making a strange noise... like the noise your shovel makes when you are clearing snow.

I looked out of the window to see this neighbour, Scraping up the weeds from his driveway with a shovel. If DH was home ( he was working) i'd have gone round there and given him what for, but i couldnt leave DD in on her own.

If he does it again, I'll be there..... with MY shovel!