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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a bigger diamond?

72 replies

Beaverfeaver · 21/04/2012 16:59

My engagement ring is an old 0.1 carat diamond which I am currently having a wedding band made to fit.

We couldn't afford a fancy engagment ring when we got engaged and this one was in the family.

We were thinking that the wedding band could be inset with diamonds instead.
However , we have just been at the jewellers to discuss options and are now thinking about increasing the size of the 0.1 diamond in my engagment ring with a 0.25.

As soon as she showed us the 0.25 diamonds I couldn't believe how lovely it was and fell a bit in love with it, but just because its bigger.

I do have a niggle in the back of my head that it's wrong to do this though.

Am I being unreasonable to now want a diamond bigger than 0.1?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 21/04/2012 17:02

How about you put the small diamond inside the band and get the bigger one for the outside

That way you're taking the past into the future Smile

catinboots · 21/04/2012 17:03

Laurie that's lovely Smile

Flossyfloof · 21/04/2012 17:03

No. You probably have more money now than when you first got engaged and one's tastes change anyway. Especially if it was already in the family and he is fine about it.

SoupDragon · 21/04/2012 17:05

Well, it will no longer be your engagement ring then. Does that bother you?

SoupDragon · 21/04/2012 17:06

What I mean is that I would just get a ring rather than mess with the original - maybe an eternity ring.

AThingInYourLife · 21/04/2012 17:06

I would never change an old family ring.

Or the ring I got engaged with.

The ring you have is so special - it tells the story of your engagement, of your relationship.

If you change it to a bigger diamond, it kind of spoils that.

Debeez · 21/04/2012 17:07

Agree with Soupdragon My diamonds huge in my eyes ;) but I've seen a few "oh okay" face at it. That doesn't bother me, the fact it's the ring he proposed with means the world. I'd be more interested to hear your DF's feelings on this. If it's what you want and he's happy go for it.

Original poster
Beaverfeaver · 21/04/2012 17:08

Soupdragon: Thats what DP suggested as ther is not much left of the original ring anyway due to the way it needed to be resized/restored when he got it.

I just would still feel like it was more my ring than a whole new one would be.

Its so hard

OP posts:
AThingInYourLife · 21/04/2012 17:08

"I've seen a few "oh okay" face at it."

Shock

Really?

MamaGeekChic · 21/04/2012 17:08

I think Lauries idea is a fab one! I'm sure you could have the 0.1ct set inside the band- or even in your wedding band rather than the engagement ring? I have a fairly modest engagement diamond and i'm tempted to get a bigger one but i think i'll go for a blingy eternity ring instead.

Debeez · 21/04/2012 17:16

Athinginyourlife Yeah, mostly at work, my lovely friends squealed like I had a 10crt on my finger bless them. I don't care though, each to their own. :)

AThingInYourLife · 21/04/2012 17:20

Your friends were right - that's the ring HE chose, the one he went and picked and thought about you loving and spent what he could on it.

So special. I really do not understand people who think the size of the diamond is what matters.

Debeez · 21/04/2012 17:22

I can see OP's point though, if she'd like something bigger. Lurking now, would like to hear DF's side although I'm assuming as OP didn't mention he wasn't happy he's fine about it.

Teapot13 · 21/04/2012 17:22

Nothing says "first wife" like a modest engagement ring with other, more expensive jewelry.

Debeez · 21/04/2012 17:24

Is that good thing Teapot?

noinspiration · 21/04/2012 17:25

The size of the diamond does not matter. Anyone who says it does needs a good slap.

diddl · 21/04/2012 17:28

Do you like the ring or not?

I chose my ring & love it still-I´ve had irefer.t for 20yrs & never seen one I p

WorraLiberty · 21/04/2012 17:29

I've never understood people who want to change their original engagement ring.

My Sister has been married over 30 years and even though their company is turning over around 4 million pounds a year, she still wears her very cheap engagement ring with pride.

It reminds her of how far in life they've come together.

diddl · 21/04/2012 17:29

OopsBlush

Had it for nearly 20yrs & never seen one that I prefer.

LydiaWickham · 21/04/2012 17:38

If you keep the diamond and put it in the wedding ring, that's keeping the original family stone. Check with your DP he's happy with this, really happy, it's his family heirloom, not yours. If you are certain with all the changes done to the ring over the years this won't matter to him, then go for it.

You have to wear this ring every day for the rest of your life, if you don't love it, you won't and will be one of those woman who just wear her wedding ring, seems a shame if you can afford it.

DialsMavis · 21/04/2012 17:40

I have the Hmm faces at mine too. It is an art deco job with 5 small diamonds in a sort of twirly shape and I know not many people like it, its not really meant to be an engagement ring, i don't think. But I love it and would feel stupid with a big showy rock, even if we did have the £. People say things like "oh, that's unusual" and "oh it's really neat". DP and I find it hilarious Wink

LydiaWickham · 21/04/2012 17:41

Actually, thinking more, could you maybe say you'll not change it now but go for an 'upgrade' for your 5th or 10th anniversary (or first DC if you don't have any already)? then it's not just you randomly changing it, but changing it for an event, and making the change to be a bit more of the 'story' of the ring, rather than just a change for a random reason.

notactuallyme · 21/04/2012 17:46

I hated mine so much - sorry to all you sentimentalists.my wedding ring is totally different,and couldnt be worn with it. I sold the gold in it, kept the stones and plan to get a big chunky band made from the wedding ring and the stones.you have the man, and the memory, I don't think physical objects are that meaningful all the time if you don't love them.

diddl · 21/04/2012 17:49

Ooh Dials that sounds lovely-might be a contender for one I might prefer to mine!

QueenSconetta · 21/04/2012 17:50

I would feel wierd about changing my engagement ring too, because then it would be just any old ring.

I knew someone once who changed both her wedding and engagement rings for something she liked better. Which wouldn't sit right with me. Neither does my MIL wearing a big blingy ring 'as an engagement ring' (her words), because its NOT her engagement ring.

However, each to their own and if you are happy with whatever you choose to do then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.