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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Smoking, AIBU ?

68 replies

MissMap · 21/04/2012 11:03

My Dn is about to move into a shared flat. It is only available to non-smokers, which he is. However, the person he is going to share with, is a smoker. He intends to lie to the Landlord and sign a contract stating he is also a non-smoker. He insists that he will only smoke outside and that this will be permissable.

I have insisted that my DN mentions this to the Landlord before they sign a contract. My DN thinks I am being u.

What's the verdict of the Mumsnet jury?

Ps Dn has lived with me since he was a small boy, but is now at Uni.

OP posts:
GirlWithALlamaTattoo · 21/04/2012 11:04

Provided that he only smokes outside, as many smokers do, I don't see the problem.

Original poster
MissMap · 21/04/2012 11:04

Permissible

OP posts:
TiredTits · 21/04/2012 11:07

Outside smoking doesn't count.

I don't know anyone who smokes in the house anymore.

Mrsjay · 21/04/2012 11:11

If the person is going to smoke outside i dont see the problem dont snitch the lad out ,

AnaisB · 21/04/2012 11:11

If he doesn't smoke in thou house I don't see what difference it would make. Your DN could cause the rental agreement to fall through unnecessarily and jeopardize his friendship.

AnaisB · 21/04/2012 11:11

"the" house

OldGreyWiffleTest · 21/04/2012 11:13

YABU - if he only smokes outside then there's no poblem is there?

TheMonster · 21/04/2012 11:13

It's not snitching - it's protecting his own deposit.
I would say something. His friend could well leave butts all over the place outside, and will make it smell inside as the stink comes in on his clothes and drifts in through windows and doors.

ScooseLooseAbootThisHoose · 21/04/2012 11:14

You have insisted? Sorry but how is it your business? As long as he doesn't smoke inside what is the problem?

pictish · 21/04/2012 11:14

Don't be silly OP - if he smokes outside there is no issue is there?
Remove your nose from this, and leave them alone.

madonnawhore · 21/04/2012 11:17

Think you need to cut those apron strings OP.

If this is his first time living with mates at uni, then smoking outside is going to be the very least of it Grin.

Mrsjay · 21/04/2012 11:17

you nephew is 17/18 so is the other person , if they get caught smoking then its the lads problem not yours ,

WorraLiberty · 21/04/2012 11:17

The Landlord cannot dictate what anyone does outside of his house.

Mrsjay · 21/04/2012 11:18

I think madonna is right a fag is going to be pretty tame at uni what with the parties and girls etc etc ,

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 21/04/2012 11:21

I don't think it's your place to get involved either way, but you can let your DN know that if there ever is any smoke damage, he will be equally liable for it and could lose his part of the deposit too.

I'd let him learn the lesson himself if it comes to it, and if it doesn't because the lad does always smoke outside, then there will be no harm done.

Flightty · 21/04/2012 11:25

Our neighbours did this...all I will say is that we regularly get cigarette butts chucked out of their windows at the back onto our garden.

They also scattered fag ends all over the front drive, I picked up about a hundred and put them in a flower pot by their front door.

My point is that I think people who smoke sometimes find it hard to be bothered to go outside for one. Especially if they live upstairs/whatever.

DP smokes but he's not on the tenancy and no lying was involved - I don't. He always, always goes outside more to protect the kids than anything else, but it's easy cos we live on the ground floor.

I think if it requires lying it's probably out of order, surely if they don't mind him smoking outside, he can say that's what he will do - our agents have no problem with the people upstairs doing it outside though it's strictly banned in the house. We're not even allowed candles fgs.

Flightty · 21/04/2012 11:26

the problem is if the OP's nephew's flatmate breaks the agreement/the agents find out, they could BOTH be chucked out.

That is the problem here. Not being huffy about smoking - or indeed lying - but protecting the nephew's interests in terms of his security of tenure.

ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 21/04/2012 11:26

YABU, the landlord is BVU and controlling to dictate what people who live in his flat do outside. Not to mention unrealistic, our student flat was damaged more from drunker antics than from smoking.

Spuddybean · 21/04/2012 11:27

I always take those questions about whether i'm a smoker to mean 'am i planning on smoking on the premises'. So when i have rented i always tick no, altho i do occasionally smoke outside or when i'm out.

Same with work, just because i may have a few fags on a Friday night after a couple of ribenas, that doesn't mean i will be nipping out for a crafty one at work.

So if he's planning on doing outside then as far as the landlord is concerned he should be considered a 'non' smoker.

YABU

YouOldSlag · 21/04/2012 11:27

YABU.

None of your business. I have lived in rented accommodation and never smoked inside, but always gone into the garden. Even smokers with their own home don't smoke indoors anymore. As long as flatmate never smokes indoros, i don't see how it affects anything.

NoWayNoHow · 21/04/2012 11:28

YABU - if they're smoking outside, it's not in the property and therefore none of the landlord's business (and none of yours, I should add).

Thumbwitch · 21/04/2012 11:30

I used to take in lodgers. I also had a non-smoker policy and had at least 3 lodgers who did smoke. 1 never smoked in the house at all and was fine; another only smoked outside and was ok but the 3rd and 4th used to sneakily smoke in their room with the window open. Of course this blew the smoke back into the room at least half the time; and it became bloody obvious when they left that the smoke had permeated the room - brown stains on the walls, the bed and carpet reeked of smoke etc.

IF this bloke is going to actually follow through and only smoke outside, then I'd say fine, do it. But IF he does smoke inside, he WILL get caught out and they could lose their deposit over it and maybe get bad future references.

His risk.

GeneHuntsMistress · 21/04/2012 11:30

I'd advise him to make it clear to his mate that he is happy to go along with this, however at the first sign of the mate smoking indoors "just this once,mout of the window....." etc etc, then he will have no option other than to inform the landlord so that he does not become jointly liable for any smoke damage (I.e. smell to the flat).

And then leave it at that. Don't even ask him if he took your advice. He is a man t make his own decisions.

moonstonezoe · 21/04/2012 11:34

I am able to insist, as I am paying the rent and the deposit. If he is thrown out of the property as a result of this deceit then it will cause me a problem.

WorraLiberty · 21/04/2012 11:47

Even if they were both non smokers, they'd still have to strictly enforce a no smoking rule amongst visiting friends.

This is no different...all he needs to do is make sure his flatmate sticks to the rule as well.