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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give a fuck about schools?

569 replies

sensuallettuce · 20/04/2012 21:13

AIBU to be totally hacked off with this subject every bloody year.

I don't care that Saffron didn't get into your first choice school even though the local school is varie good she just isn't "suited" to that "environment" all the council estate kids Hmm.

It's such thinly veiled snobbery and competitive parenting at its very worst. Kids should go to the local school end of and if there is a grammar system state educated kids should be permitted to take the entrance exam (not privately educated kids who are trained to pass an exam) and this should be means tested.

I live in one of the most competitive school areas of the country with a massive social divide (Poole in Dorset). Because of this I ended up with all 3 kids at 3 different schools for 3 yrs Hmm.

How can people bang on about the state providing a perfectly good education then spend an extra £50,000 on a house in the "right" area. It's hypocritical snobby bollocks.

Kids will learn if they want to. I do not believe any of them have faired any better or worse due to my non choice of school. They are fulfilling who they are.

They have a loving home and are well balanced grounded kids and they know if I believe they have been "wronged" I am behind them 100%, if they have done "wrong" I am behind the school. I a, supportive of and interested in their education.

We all need to bloody calm down about this seriously Hmm

OP posts:
GinPalace · 21/04/2012 12:24

I want my DDs to attend a school where high marks are respected and being academic is considered cool.

That is me too.

wordfactory · 21/04/2012 15:47

I too have experience that many DC no matter how clever will underachieve in a bad school.
I was pretty much the only one of my peers who went to university.
Were my friends from the estate thick then? Of course not. Some were much cleverer than me.
But it was bloody hard to stay focussed and work hard when that just wasn't the culture.

I used to pretend I was doing any revision etc. The teachers were pretty good actually and complicit in my subterfuge.
I rememeber one new qualified who decided she would read out one of my short stories to the class. No doubt she wanted my diligence to rub off.
It was a mortifying experience for both of us.

My Mum wrote her a note, pretty much saying don't you ever draw any attention to Wordfactory again!!!!

Do people really think many kids can stand up to this sort of crap? Do people really think it's somehow good for them?

I suspect what people mean when they trot out that old line 'a bright kid can do well anwhere,' what they actually mean is ' a bright middle class child attending a school with lots of other middle class kids can do well, especially if their parents pay for tutoring.'

GinPalace · 21/04/2012 15:50

Or, what they mean is, a bright kid in a crap school might do as well as a thick well-educated kid with plenty of home tutoring - if he/she is lucky!

Heswall · 21/04/2012 15:54

'a bright kid can do well anwhere,' what they actually mean is ' a bright middle class child attending a school with lots of other middle class kids can do well, especially if their parents pay for tutoring.

And then the school takes the credit for it and the parents that aren't paying for tutoring are scratching their heads wondering why their child isn't doing well in a school that has produced such wonderful results.

SpringHeeledJack · 21/04/2012 16:02

I'm only on here to look at bathroom shizzle on H&P, but I agree with every damn word of your OP, lettuce

I'm in London. It's fucking bonkers. The amount of times I've heard "well, I'd never send my child there" (with a shudder) - only for those same parents to be kicking the doors in a couple of years later when the tiny white middle class trickle of pupils has become a torrent

it sucks

MilitaryWag · 21/04/2012 16:08

There are crap teachers in EVERY school. You would also be amazed at the absolute shite that work in the private sector to. I always find it amusing how parents bang on about 'all the crap teachers'.. what are they basing that on? What their friends are saying? Have they seen they observed the said teacher?

Heswall · 21/04/2012 16:09

I think you base your opinion on the progress your child has made that year, with that teacher. That seems fair enough no ?

wordfactory · 21/04/2012 16:12

See, if you're middle class and wantt o send your DC to the local school which happens to be half decent then that's great...but all this applauding yourself because it's 'mixed'. Declaring that it is soooo good for your DC to mix with poor children.

MilitaryWag · 21/04/2012 16:13

My kids are at a heavily over-subscribed Ofsted outstanding school and I have had nothing but agro with them re: one of my daughters and zero progress. Cut a long, long story short.... profuse apologies from the deputy about the failings of the school

Chandon · 21/04/2012 16:14

yabu OP.

And insincere.

You DO give a fuck.

You just wish other people would not give a fuck.

that is something else.

....and you may be wrong....who knows, maybe it DOES matter ...are you really very sure?

Heswall · 21/04/2012 16:21

I know it makes me laugh.
Paul McCartney did the whole state school mixing with the plebs thing, well he can afford to because I'm damn sure the comprehensive his three children attended have only produced the one internationally aclaimed fashion designer. Is that down the phenomenal teaching she receieved or something else ?

theodorakis · 21/04/2012 17:16

so did Tony Blair, lucky for him with his catchment area

festi · 21/04/2012 17:31

Tonys kids go to a faith school, so he did manage to get round catchment areas.

JugglingWithTangentialOranges · 21/04/2012 17:34

I'm really glad and proud I got DD into the best school in this city and the best school I could for her.

She is with other children who want to learn and respect their teachers and one another.

Having been a teacher myself I know this isn't the case with all children or in all schools.

Hopefully DS will be able to follow her there in a couple of years time.

Like LeQueen I'm happy she's at a school where learning is considered cool.

Because I think learning is pretty cool myself

hardboiledpossum · 21/04/2012 17:43

YABU. I went to a comp in London. On my first day I got pushed in to a class room and felt up by a boy. I was too scared to tell because I knew he carried a knife. Luckily he got expelled a few days later, for pulling a knife on someone. I regularly saw people getting beaten up, not fights but the harder girls picker on the 'posh' girls for no reason. I was quite a sensitive child and found all of the violence incredibly upsetting. I got a rubbish education because I ended up bunking off school pretty much every day because I found it such an awful environment to be in.

I'm liberal and a socialist but I would send my children to private schools so they don't have to go through what I did.

ra29needsabettername · 21/04/2012 17:58

OP your posts have made me so happy thank you. My ds is at a local school which I have seen described by another poster here as 'rough as a badgers arse'. He's doing very well there. I like you, have a social conscience, and this is something I'm very happy for my son to see. My ds was one of just a handful from his state primary to continue with state at secondary. At first it was an adjustment for him, but it is one that he has made. I for one will not say to the child in care, or the refugee child or any other child that can't afford a choice, that my child will not be educated with them. If only everybody could stop being so paranoid (because that's what I think a lot of this is actually about) and stop contributing to this hideous form of money/class segregation.

helloclitty · 21/04/2012 18:02

hardboiledpossum

I had a very similar experience and would not want my children to go through.

I understand the ideal the OP is talking about but in reality it doesn't work. A swathe of kids at my school wanted to work but couldn't and left school with no qualifications.

warmandwooly · 21/04/2012 18:10

I think parent's have every right to fight for the best education for their kids. My parents didn't want me to go to the conp in my local area becuase of it's poor reputation and they were righ to. It would have been easier to go to the local school in so many ways and not just the cost(and it was just another comp)

Some schools I believe will not get better purely on their own efforts and what is needed is that all local schools need to make an effort to enforce the same ethos and rules so that it's not a case of a schools reputation being partly blames on the catchment areas/feeder schools.

YBU. Education is one,imo,of the biggest factors of social mobility.

Northernlurker · 21/04/2012 18:11

I notice nobody has really addressed shagmundfreud's situation. Funny that. Hmm

I have sent my children to schools which are local to us but are not their catchment schools. I have done so because those are the better schools for them. My primary responsibility is to my children. I will not subject them to social experimentation in the name of the 'greater good'. Dd1 attends a comprehensive and she's doing fine there. It has a good academic reputation. Would I send her to one the private schools in our city if I could? Yes, in a heartbeat.

Original poster
sensuallettuce · 21/04/2012 21:41

I would like to address shagmundfreuds situation.

I admit I am not massively aware of the "London" situation, or the fact that there are places with no "catchment" - how is that possible? Surely you need to get onto your local council? It is one city in the UK and to those who live there it is the be all and end all - but I think to the rest of us the situation is pretty much the same.

Is shagmundfreuds situation just a product of for so many years this "everyone for themselves" attitude being allowed to continue?

Like it is on this thread - What about the poverty stricken parents who have no choice, they just stay there don't they? One less kid in the way of yours fuck em eh?

OP posts:
membrillo · 21/04/2012 22:11

In my LA there are no catchments- schools have set intake numbers, and places are allocated according to distance (after LAC, SEN, Siblings etc, or faith of course Hmm). What is wrong with that scenario?

The issue is people moving to be near the good schools- and I have to laugh at your '£50,000' figure- try £300-500k on top of prices of houses near ropey schools. It is cheaper to pay fees for independent than move near the 'best' performing schools in my authority!

Heswall · 21/04/2012 22:14

The poor kid who can't move and has a rubbish school is screwed, ruining my child's chances doesn't help them either does it ? There's plenty that can be done, you'd be far better off volunteering within the school. What good do you honestly think sending yours there would do ?

redglow · 21/04/2012 22:17

I agree with you op.

Changebagsandgladrags · 21/04/2012 22:30

Well here you are then this is an illustration on 'the London problem'

We've had massive migration into this area from one particular ethnic group. They are quite family orientated and this resulted in more kids and a higher birth rate. But schools have not kept up with this.

The local primary now has a teeny tiny catchment (well the catchment area itself has not decreased but you no longer get in unless you are living in the school playground). This is not an excellent school btw, it's in special measures.

So yes, even though you might technically be in a catchment area for a school, you have no realistic chance of getting in.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 21/04/2012 22:31

What good do you honestly think sending yours there would do?

Exactly.

The only difference it would make would be that there was a higher percentage of interested and involved parents, the children themselves will make no difference whatsoever. So that must mean its up to parents to improve schools, and the parents who have children at unsuccessful schools are free to do that if they wish to.