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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to report the woman living across the road?

57 replies

SurroundedByPlasticCrap · 18/04/2012 16:30

We all live in council housing, it's an okay area, not bad schools and all the houses have 3 or 4 bedrooms.

The house opposite used to have a family in it but the wife left and 2 older boys moved out. Was just the man left with his 17 yo daughter when he had a stroke. She had already left school and wasn't working so she became his carer. This happened 8 years ago, before I moved into my house so I don't know all the details, just what he's told me. He's pretty open about his situation and tells everyone.

Anyway when I moved here he would always stop in the street and chat saying how he wished his daughter would get a job. "She just sleeps, drink and smokes all day, saying she's looking after me. I don't need looking after, and the government pays her too." words like this, they would shout at each other in the street too, calling each other lazy and useless.

Anyway I thought it was none of my business. I saw a lady go in and clean once a week and that was that.

Then about a year ago he told me he was moving in with his new girlfriend. I asked if his daughter would be moving out and he said no because she had nowhere else to go. He said he would still claim that he lived there or their benefits would get cut and he wanted a place in case it didn't work out with the girlfriend.

After a few months a bed got thrown in the garden and then 2 couches. New furniture was delivered by Argos, a decorators van was there and I can see sitting room has been wallpapered.

Then the parties started, they are not really loud, but there are drunk people wandering up and down the street, bottles and cans thrown over the fence onto the street. I had a guy sleeping in my front garden and I've had to ask people not to sit on my car 4 times (to be told to fuck off). And the dog shit makes my skin crawl, she has 2 little yappy dogs that shit all over her garden and on the street; and my garden if the postie doesn't shut the gate.

The man comes back to pick up his mail every few weeks and I've told him I've spoken to his daughter about the mess. He said there's nothing he can do, but I pointed out the house was in his name and if the amount of shit all over his garden was considered a health hazard he'd be in trouble. He mumbled about having a word but that was 6 months ago.

I don't know how to report someone and frankly I feel bad doing to but I think benefits are really important and these people are taking the piss. The waiting list for housing is so long and they are just taking up space that could really help someone else.

I know I'm not unreasonable for reporting them, I just want to know how I do it so they don't know it's me, don't want to be shouted at or car damaged.

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 18/04/2012 18:48

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Codandchops · 18/04/2012 18:50

I think what jumped out at me was the dog mess and general littering rather than anything else - not nice to have to live with at all.

usualsuspect · 18/04/2012 18:51

The dog mess and litter fair enough , the rest meh

AmberLeaf · 18/04/2012 18:57

"She just sleeps, drink and smokes all day, saying she's looking after me. I don't need looking after and the government pays her too." words like this, they would shout at each other in the street too, calling each other lazy and useless

Oh those lazy useless carers [raking in £55 a week] and their fake disabled carees that dont really need looking after

This is just bollocks isnt it?

usualsuspect · 18/04/2012 18:58

Yeah its all bollocks , I liked the decorators and Argos furniture though.

tethersend · 18/04/2012 18:58

I'd report her for not being grateful enough.

JuliaScurr · 18/04/2012 19:02

AmberLeaf don't forget, social housing is only for people in need - the correct way to do things is get a ludicrously overpriced house on a massively overstretched mortgage, then sit back nd gloat as it trebles in price

boringnickname · 18/04/2012 19:04

Amberleaf - the thing is, she is a fake carer isnt she, she isnt caring for him, he isnt there!

The whole carers benefits is all a bit confusing if you ask me. My dad used to receive attendance allowance for my mum, she has a medical condition that TECHNICALLY means she coudnt be left alone. They were encouraged by the benefits agency (or whoever it was) at the time to claim this, which was all a bit weird in the end because yes, she has this condition but ended up being HIS carer in the end because he got alzheimers, hes died now. My mum lives on her own - she is ok, but TECHNICALLY she needs someone living with her. Were they wrong to claim this money? I don't know - they were encouraged to do so. They didn't lie, it is 100% true that she shoudnt really live alone, but now she does, there is no one to look after her now. 99% of the time she is fine, with medication and i am luckly that i live around the corner. Its never straight forward - someone doesnt need to be totally disabled to receive some level of benefits but im sure htere woudl be people who would see my mum doing her garden etc, walking her monster dog that would be up in arms about her DLA or whatever it is she claims now. She doesn't lie, she doesn't exaggerate, its just that her condition is apparent most of the time, one day, it WILL kill her :(

boringnickname · 18/04/2012 19:05

her condition ISNT apparent most of the time

AmberLeaf · 18/04/2012 19:08

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Codandchops · 18/04/2012 19:13

I get Carers Allowance and it's £55.55 a week. I am really grateful to have it as it allows me to be at home for my DS who is autistic.

Point is that the benefits thing is a red herring. I'd be far more hacked off about the rubbish and dog crap everywhere.

boringnickname · 18/04/2012 19:22

Oh, ok Amber - im not up on benefits, so find it all confusing :)

I do try not to call BS on a thread though, it does sound like the sort of throw away comment that certain types of people might make though as he may well have just assumed that because OP lives in same area that she is the same as him, so would sympathise and encourage benefit fruad?

I do tend to think that yes, if something isnt affecting you then keep out of it, but this girl is not entitled to live there and receive benefits to look after someone who isnt even living there now, but more to the point, her behaviour (and i can just imagine) is impacting on her neighbours and therefore needs to be reported. I think you are right the benefits are a side factor and wont get the OP much sympathy once the benefit bashers get online

WibblyBibble · 18/04/2012 20:28

Well, obviously you should report any nuisance, but you don't know if the father is telling the truth about the benefits or has an axe to grind. Would also just like to note that since you appear to have most of the day to sit about watching other people's deliveries, you obviously ain't working that damn hard for your 'business', matey, so stop pretending you're some kind of tax-paying hero.

SurroundedByPlasticCrap · 20/04/2012 09:35

Bloody hell.

I didn't come on for a bit and I'm being called names and I'm meant to be speaking bullshit.

I know it's AIBU but this is unfair.

It's not bs, I've changed some of the details so I don't give away who I am in case the person I'm reporting comes on here. Very unlikely but I don't want to get into confrontation with people who obviously couldn't give a flying f* about anything apart from themselves.

Yes, Argos. I said the shop name as I wanted to point out that it was new stuff being delivered not cheap stuff. Argos while not being high end stuff is still a few hundred quid for a sofa.

Wibbly, I work from home as most of what I do is web based. I'm only in the warehouse 2 days a week as I also look after my 2 young kids. I'm not a "tax paying hero" I pay what I'm meant to pay. It's really fucking hard running your own business in a recession, we've had to lay off staff, cut back on everything, especially what we take home. Yet taxes still go up and I don't see why we should work so hard and go without while others sit on their fat asses doing sweet fuck all and get the live a party lifestyle. OH yes I am very bitter, but I up until the other stuff, shit and glass all over the place I didn't want to interfere in other peoples lives.

I think carers allowance is incredibly important for those who are due it. I would never grudge a penny of my tax if it was going to those in need. My MIL is the carer for my FIL, he has MS, they need all the help they can get.

OP posts:
Codandchops · 20/04/2012 09:46

Sirrounded if she has no income apart from benefits then it is likely this new stuff from Argos was all bought on credit.

I am currently on benefits as I am Carer for my autistic son and there is no way I could afford "a few hundred quid" for a new sofa. My current suite was £100 from our local hospice shop and that was a struggle,

So either she has money she has not declared, is working "cash in hand" on the side or has got this all on credit which she might or might not be able to pay back depending in the repayment terms. If her repayment terms are really low then the interest will be high and that £300-£400 sofa might end up costing her well over £800 by the time she's finished the repayments.

I hope you have reported the dog muck and littering to environmental health though because that is unacceptable. Tbh if if's that bad you will probably be in a long line of people complaining.

jaquelinehyde · 20/04/2012 09:53

I would complain about the dog muck, glass and parties without hesitation.

I would then speak with her Dad again (who by the sounds of it you have an amazing friendship with as why else would he give you all that private info) and I would tell him that he now needs to inform the benefits agency that he no longer lives there as the neighbours are begining to talk and he and his daughter could end up in a lot of trouble if he continued as he is. It is his responsibility let him deal with it.

Reporting to benefit fraud will not get her moved and will not stop the parties. She will simply lose her carers allowance and get moved from income support on to job seekers allowance and to be quite honest this may have already happened. How do you know what benefits she is now getting?

jaquelinehyde · 20/04/2012 09:57

And I agree the furniture will be on credit, Argos throw it around like it's no ones business. She will be paying huge amounts of interest on it, well actually she probably isn't and very soon she will be contacted by a debt agency...Wow what a life I can understand why everyone is so jealous of people on benefits!

No one should have to live with anti-social neighbours regardless of household income, so report that over and over until it stops. Keep a diary of every event and even take some photos of the mess.

Lets be honest you couldn't care less what benefits were being claimed before the parties started otherwise you would have reported the situation long before now.

MrsShitty · 20/04/2012 10:00

she's taking the house up when someone with real needs could have it...call the HA.

treadwarily · 20/04/2012 11:22

I wouldn't like the nuisance from the noise and mess either. If you can't get anywhere with the tenants (sounds as though you have tried) do complain to the appropriate authority.

But the benefits etc aren't really your business.

jaquelinehyde · 20/04/2012 11:31

MrsShitty most HA's don't move tenants because they are living in a house that is bigger than they need. If the rent is being paid the tenant will have the choice to remain regardless of whether they need 3 bedrooms or not.

I know some HA's and councils have started reviewing and changing this so it depends on where the OP lives.

SurroundedByPlasticCrap · 20/04/2012 12:17

But she's not paying rent. It's covered because it's in her fathers name and he can't work as he's had his stroke. He's not been there for over a year and the reason he's not declaring he's moved out is because he wants somewhere to go if it doesn't work out with his girlfriend.

I used to talk to him almost daily as he would sit in a deck chair outside his house. Or he would knock on my door and ask if I was going to the shops and if I could give him a lift. I was actually quite happy to help him out, I quite liked him. He talked allot, about himself and family. I know he felt hard done by.

I haven't done anything yet. I think this is why I posted as I'm torn. As mentioned above I guess environmental health won't do anything about the shit as its on a private council house garden. If I go to HA about the mess will they not just try and contact the father anyway?

The parties aren't really that noisy, it's the mess and the drunk people EVERY weekend that's bugging me most.

OP posts:
Kerryblue · 20/04/2012 14:22

I would report them for both things.

Dog shit and litter and parties, with no consideration for the neighbours is just rude, unhealthy, and just plain ignorant.

And, I would definitely report the housing situation. They are all taking the piss. I can't stand people who take the piss like this. He wants to keep the house in case he splits up with his girlfriend - wtf!! Meanwhile his daughter gets to live there rent free and just farts about all day, occasionally taking the odd furniture delivery.

God, some people!

Evilclown · 20/04/2012 14:29

I do so love these scenarios whereby a person fraudulently claiming benefits is so open and honest about it. Maybe he claims for stupidity?

Not sure what the relevance of wallpaper and Argos is to dog shit, but then it takes all sorts.

If her dog is shitting in your garden then contact the council. It seems you are a council tenant yourself, so you should have the address.

If that fails then I would allow your goat to shit in her garden, not that she would care.

Finally I would redirect her to Brighthouse, where people like her should shop.

Codandchops · 20/04/2012 14:36

Environmental health WILL be interested even if it's not on the road. Locally a couple have just been fined for allowing their dog to crap all over the front garden and not clearing up after it. They had numerous warnings before it got that far. It's a health risk, report it.

007alert · 20/04/2012 14:49

I have no idea whether the op is straight up or not, but for posters who don't believe benefit fraudsters tell people then you're rather naive. I know several people who claim benefits fraudulently and that fact that they are happy for me to know seems to be because of a variety of reasons.

Some people convince themselves that if it's possible to claim, even through withholding the truth, then it's ok. They put the onus on the benefits office (or whoever deals with claims) to find them out.

One girl I know says that she's saving for a deposit to buy a house and if she said that she was living with her boyfriend, his housing benefit would be taken away so they wouldn't be able to save as much and be able to afford their own house. Her justification is that they will no longer need the help in the future whereas if they were honest about where she lived they would be claiming for even longer.

Other people are simply not very clever and don't realise that spouting off about their fraudulent claims might piss people off and they might get reported.

My parents are scared of reporting a man who is their tenant. He was in an accident about 4 years ago and is no longer able to work. He gets full housing benefit on his cottage and whatever benfits are available to people who are unable to work because of health conditions. Yet he a) has a lodger, and b) works every day, cash in hand, on two local farms doing hedge work and general labour. My parents live next door to him. They are frightened what he might do if he was reported as they are sure he would know it was them and the people he works for could also stir things up. They also believe they would need hard evidence before they would be taken seriously. So they keep schtum, while knowing that it's wrong.

Whoops, gone on forever, but things are not always as they seem.