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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My sister is furious with me and I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong!

70 replies

brightyoungthing · 17/04/2012 15:11

Long story so will keep it short!

Last year my mum left her partner and moved in with me on a temporary basis although she stayed for 14 months. She left most of her furniture in my sisters garage for storage until she found a place of her own.

During the time she was living with me mum suggested I get rid of my bulky pine table and have her small oak one, stored at my sisters. We did this and left the pine one in her garage for storage. When we went to pick up the table my sister was using the matching four chairs as she had broken hers. She had taken them without asking but mum was fine with that. The chairs I already had did not match at all but I just figured I'd get new ones to match.

Over the last year I have been trying to find matching chairs but they are very expensive. I bought cheap Ikea ones but they were all too large to fit in the gap between the table legs, so we ended up with 2 pairs of different looking chairs, none of them matching the table!

Just before christmas my sister helped herself to my original pine table as she had broken hers (she has a lot of drunken parties). I did not mind at all, just asked her to look after it. I was a bit miffed that she did not ask first though as we are very close.

Yesterday me and my mum went to a junk shop that was filled to the rafters with chairs and tables, so I thought I'd sort my chair problem out once and for all! I chose a set of 6 chairs at a good price and brought them home. However they did not fit between the table legs. I was ready to scream when I thought I'd phone my sister and ask her if she would do a swap so I could have the chairs that originally came with the table and she have the 6 I had just bought. She said that was fine and came later that day with her husband to do the swap. I had told her that I would do all the moving in mums huge car as they had just bought a sleek new one, but when they arrived they had brought the oak ones.

My sister took one look at the 6 chairs I had bought and said she did not like them. I said fine, it's ok we won't swap but she said she didn't mind me having the oak ones and she will store the 6 in her garage and buy some pine ones to match my table that she is using.

I could tell they were huffy and I kept saying that I felt awful and she should just take the oak ones back and I'd make do with the 6 I'd bought but they kept saying it was ok, they would just get new ones.

I was very pleased I finally had the matching chairs that actually fit but felt really guilty about the whole situation. I went to mums to swap cars back and she told me my sister had been on the phone absuloutely furious with me for 'conning' her into having 6 'shit' chairs. My mum told her she should have spoken to me about it at the time but she said it was too late by then as they had already brought the oak chairs to me!

Sisters husband took her to ikea last night so she could buy matching chairs but she is not speaking to me!

The way I look at it is this, she should never have helped herself to the oak chairs in the first place, and should be grateful I have all but given her my pine table that she took.

I'm going to have it out with her but I want to see what people think of the situation first.

AIBU? If I am I really can't see how!

Sorry it's long and if you've got down the page this far then bless you and please give me some advice!

OP posts:
DogEared · 17/04/2012 15:13

What?!?

Gigondas · 17/04/2012 15:15

So chairs are your mums and she is ok with you having them (I know your sis was storing/using them)? And sis now has table and new chairs (from ikea but could have had the "shit" chairs you bought). None of which she paid for (I understand did pay for ikea chairs as didn't like others but she didn't have to).

Sorry she sounds unreasonable and entitled .

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 17/04/2012 15:16

It all sounds ridiculously petty to me so on that level you are all BU!

doctordwt · 17/04/2012 15:17

I think you should perhaps remember that not a single item referred to in your OP either belongs to or was paid for by your frankly odious sounding brat of a sister.

Gigondas · 17/04/2012 15:17

Am I the only one who wonders what table op's mum now has?

ABatInBunkFive · 17/04/2012 15:18

She's not entitled much is she, tell her to get a grip it's not as if she's paid for any of this Hmm

Debsbear · 17/04/2012 15:18
Confused
Gigondas · 17/04/2012 15:19

Plus she will break table at one of her drunken parties and be on at op for the oak table back

doctordwt · 17/04/2012 15:19

Maybe you could just say, fine, mum will take back HER table and chairs and I'll take back MY pine table and chairs? Would that perhaps make the point to The Brat?

penguinsoup · 17/04/2012 15:20

How many bloody chairs do you have?

Confused
Sarcalogos · 17/04/2012 15:20

That is almost impossible to follow...

But if I'm right, your sister is being very unreasonable. She's been using the lovely chairs without asking for ages and now it's your turn. Also you effectively bought her other chairs, she doesnt like them and can afford to buy new ones at the drop of a hat. So money clearly not an issue. Yanbu

LaurieFairyCake · 17/04/2012 15:21

your sister is an entitled beatch. It's just that simple.

porcamiseria · 17/04/2012 15:23

LOL, there are alot of chairs floating around

I think, she is BU?

DesperatelySeekingBunnies · 17/04/2012 15:23

So..... none of this furniture belongs to your sister? Take all your stuff back to put in your own home. It's up to your mum what she does with her stuff. It's not your responsibility to furnish your sister's home. So don't. Stop indulging her spoilt, bratty behaviour. If she can afford to throw wild parties where furniture gets wrecked, she can afford to buy her own fucking chairs.

GravyHadALumpyMashBaby · 17/04/2012 15:34

So she's annoyed that your furniture that you've loaned her are not good enough?!

Wow. Ok, I think you need to take all your furniture back, and your sister can buy herself a table and chairs if she needs them!

Then you should not lend/swap/borrow any more furniture with anyone if it gets this complicated!

YunoYurbubson · 17/04/2012 15:39

You TWICE bought chairs too tall for your table?

Roffle.

Marymaryalittlecontrary · 17/04/2012 15:52

I wouldn't have it out with her, I would just let her be huffy. You gave her the chance to keep the oak chairs (which your mum said you could have not her, anyway) and she didn't take you up on it so more fool her. I personally would just act as if there wasn't a problem and let her sulk.

YonWhaleFish · 17/04/2012 15:55

I have no idea why you just didn't get back the matching chairs for your (mums) table to begin with.

brightyoungthing · 17/04/2012 16:04

The chairs i bought were not too tall for the table but too wide to fit between the legs of the table.

My mum does not want a table at the moment but my original pine one was not sold so she could have it if she wanted when she had her own place. My sister is now using it!

Thanks everyone for your comments, I think I'll gently remind my sister of the reality that she has been 'borrowing' furniture for the last year and it is about time she bought her own!

She's not usually like this, I think thats why I've been left feeling so weird about the whole thing and unsure of myself Sad

OP posts:
MissFaversham · 17/04/2012 16:05

Of course she's being a cow OP. I'd just leave it and let it blow over.

Clytaemnestra · 17/04/2012 16:07

I think you possibly should measure underneath tables before you buy chairs for them. Take that as a life lesson and then tell your sister that you'll refund her for the money she paid for the oak chairs and charge her for the pine table.

GravyHadALumpyMashBaby · 17/04/2012 16:15

bright I think that's the perfect thing to do. Hope it goes well.

choccyp1g · 17/04/2012 16:21

OP: My mum does not want a table at the moment but my original pine one was not sold so she could have it if she wanted when she had her own place

Surely she should have her original oak table and chairs back when she gets her own place?

But apart from that YANBU at all; your sister is being very unreasonable.

Bambino81 · 17/04/2012 16:21

don't bother having a go a her, just let her know she's a petty chair queen.

PurpleRomanesco · 17/04/2012 16:23

I need a little sit down after reading that. Giz a chair Brighty.

YANBU, She is being odd but I would phone again and ask why she is upset.

Did anyone else imagine the junk shop to be a never ending room of chairs and tables stacked to the clouds? :o