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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My sister is furious with me and I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong!

70 replies

brightyoungthing · 17/04/2012 15:11

Long story so will keep it short!

Last year my mum left her partner and moved in with me on a temporary basis although she stayed for 14 months. She left most of her furniture in my sisters garage for storage until she found a place of her own.

During the time she was living with me mum suggested I get rid of my bulky pine table and have her small oak one, stored at my sisters. We did this and left the pine one in her garage for storage. When we went to pick up the table my sister was using the matching four chairs as she had broken hers. She had taken them without asking but mum was fine with that. The chairs I already had did not match at all but I just figured I'd get new ones to match.

Over the last year I have been trying to find matching chairs but they are very expensive. I bought cheap Ikea ones but they were all too large to fit in the gap between the table legs, so we ended up with 2 pairs of different looking chairs, none of them matching the table!

Just before christmas my sister helped herself to my original pine table as she had broken hers (she has a lot of drunken parties). I did not mind at all, just asked her to look after it. I was a bit miffed that she did not ask first though as we are very close.

Yesterday me and my mum went to a junk shop that was filled to the rafters with chairs and tables, so I thought I'd sort my chair problem out once and for all! I chose a set of 6 chairs at a good price and brought them home. However they did not fit between the table legs. I was ready to scream when I thought I'd phone my sister and ask her if she would do a swap so I could have the chairs that originally came with the table and she have the 6 I had just bought. She said that was fine and came later that day with her husband to do the swap. I had told her that I would do all the moving in mums huge car as they had just bought a sleek new one, but when they arrived they had brought the oak ones.

My sister took one look at the 6 chairs I had bought and said she did not like them. I said fine, it's ok we won't swap but she said she didn't mind me having the oak ones and she will store the 6 in her garage and buy some pine ones to match my table that she is using.

I could tell they were huffy and I kept saying that I felt awful and she should just take the oak ones back and I'd make do with the 6 I'd bought but they kept saying it was ok, they would just get new ones.

I was very pleased I finally had the matching chairs that actually fit but felt really guilty about the whole situation. I went to mums to swap cars back and she told me my sister had been on the phone absuloutely furious with me for 'conning' her into having 6 'shit' chairs. My mum told her she should have spoken to me about it at the time but she said it was too late by then as they had already brought the oak chairs to me!

Sisters husband took her to ikea last night so she could buy matching chairs but she is not speaking to me!

The way I look at it is this, she should never have helped herself to the oak chairs in the first place, and should be grateful I have all but given her my pine table that she took.

I'm going to have it out with her but I want to see what people think of the situation first.

AIBU? If I am I really can't see how!

Sorry it's long and if you've got down the page this far then bless you and please give me some advice!

OP posts:
CaoNiMa · 18/04/2012 02:40

If this is all you have to worry about, I'd say you're fine.

ClaudiaSchiffer · 18/04/2012 04:58

God what a dreary problem.

Come on OP spice it up a bit.

ButteryBiscuitBase · 18/04/2012 05:23

Erm I think your sis is BU but can't be totally sure!

I think your mum should choose who has what table chair combo. Agree you should get a tape measure and throw a party for your dcs if you have any with a game of musical chairs!

RubberDuck · 18/04/2012 05:50

It's not about the chairs. There's something else going on there and you should talk to her (preferably somewhere neutral and not in a way that either of you will go on the defensive) rather than speculating and getting yourself more wound up with righteous indignation. You say you are close - shame to bugger that up just over some furniture.

I would lay odds that Hebiegebies is on the right track. You've previously been close, but recently you've got a lot closer to your mum. Your sister has been used as a storage facility (and even a small amount of furniture takes up tons of space and can be annoying - and she's had it over a year!) and then you get given gifts of nice furniture. So, she's been dumped on, feels left out and has watched you be the favoured golden child.

Yes, she is coming across as entitled and daft. But I don't think she's really complaining about the chairs.

Talk to her.

MerryMarigold · 18/04/2012 10:19

She's had her Mum stay for 14 months. Surely that's worth an oak table! They're not even that much on ebay.

MerryMarigold · 18/04/2012 10:20

And I don't think sis is feeling alientated from her mother, and as if she is not golden child. Someone feeling like that would not phone Mum and slate 'golden child' who is so close to her.

QuintessentialShadows · 18/04/2012 10:24

I am just amazed that an adult goes out to look for dining room chairs, without having measured the space between the legs of the table to ascertain the maximum width of chairs, twice!

whackamole · 18/04/2012 11:47

She is waaaay unreasonable! Who takes a set of chairs from a table and doesn't give them back when the table starts being used? And how on earth can she break a table and chairs?

I don't really know why when you swapped yours for your mums you didn't ask for the matching chairs. I mean, they wouldn't have matched her table anyway would they, so yours or your mums didn't really matter.

daisyrain · 18/04/2012 12:14

Im so confused, all I can imagine is Benny Hill music, & lots of running around with furniture :(

boschy · 18/04/2012 12:23

OP says "long story so I'll keep it short". Is anyone else wondering what one of OP's longer stories might run to?!! (sorry OP :o )

SoupDragon · 18/04/2012 12:28

In defence of your sister, she did have to store all that stuff in her garage for 14 months when she no doubt thought "temporary" meant something shorter.

steben · 18/04/2012 12:45

This thread has cheered me up lol

QuintessentialShadows · 18/04/2012 13:08

Its musical chairs, innit?

LadyBeagleEyes · 18/04/2012 13:49

Aaaah, this is more like it.
MN back to it's funniest, wittiest best.
I still have no clue who's chairs, tables etc are whose, though I await to be enlightened by someone cleverer than me.Grin

MickyDodger · 18/04/2012 13:57

Have none of you heard of a measuring tape?

Mother2many · 18/04/2012 17:19

She so sounds like my sister. About 10 yrs ago, she decided to move far away, and only wanted what she could fit in her car...gave the rest to me! A yr later she came back...and yep... She wanted it all back now... roll eyes The house plant that I brought back to life that was now HUGE, I was mifted at... having her point out...that was mine, that was mine... groan

geekette · 18/04/2012 17:37

This is sibling rivalry gone nuts. You all need to grow up...

Dollydoolally · 18/04/2012 17:48

You are not being unreasonable, but your sister needs re-hab, urgently! I have spent years being drunk but have never broken any furniture! Also, have you tried eBay?!

Deadsouls · 18/04/2012 19:03

Yay...the chairs thread....see how small my world is Wink

suburbophobe · 18/04/2012 19:15

If tables and chairs is the biggest headache in your family, you are doing well!
(also quite petty).

Here's a tip: get out a measuring tape and measure the width between the table legs. Then take it with you when you buy chairs. Saves a lot of bother.

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