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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My sister is furious with me and I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong!

70 replies

brightyoungthing · 17/04/2012 15:11

Long story so will keep it short!

Last year my mum left her partner and moved in with me on a temporary basis although she stayed for 14 months. She left most of her furniture in my sisters garage for storage until she found a place of her own.

During the time she was living with me mum suggested I get rid of my bulky pine table and have her small oak one, stored at my sisters. We did this and left the pine one in her garage for storage. When we went to pick up the table my sister was using the matching four chairs as she had broken hers. She had taken them without asking but mum was fine with that. The chairs I already had did not match at all but I just figured I'd get new ones to match.

Over the last year I have been trying to find matching chairs but they are very expensive. I bought cheap Ikea ones but they were all too large to fit in the gap between the table legs, so we ended up with 2 pairs of different looking chairs, none of them matching the table!

Just before christmas my sister helped herself to my original pine table as she had broken hers (she has a lot of drunken parties). I did not mind at all, just asked her to look after it. I was a bit miffed that she did not ask first though as we are very close.

Yesterday me and my mum went to a junk shop that was filled to the rafters with chairs and tables, so I thought I'd sort my chair problem out once and for all! I chose a set of 6 chairs at a good price and brought them home. However they did not fit between the table legs. I was ready to scream when I thought I'd phone my sister and ask her if she would do a swap so I could have the chairs that originally came with the table and she have the 6 I had just bought. She said that was fine and came later that day with her husband to do the swap. I had told her that I would do all the moving in mums huge car as they had just bought a sleek new one, but when they arrived they had brought the oak ones.

My sister took one look at the 6 chairs I had bought and said she did not like them. I said fine, it's ok we won't swap but she said she didn't mind me having the oak ones and she will store the 6 in her garage and buy some pine ones to match my table that she is using.

I could tell they were huffy and I kept saying that I felt awful and she should just take the oak ones back and I'd make do with the 6 I'd bought but they kept saying it was ok, they would just get new ones.

I was very pleased I finally had the matching chairs that actually fit but felt really guilty about the whole situation. I went to mums to swap cars back and she told me my sister had been on the phone absuloutely furious with me for 'conning' her into having 6 'shit' chairs. My mum told her she should have spoken to me about it at the time but she said it was too late by then as they had already brought the oak chairs to me!

Sisters husband took her to ikea last night so she could buy matching chairs but she is not speaking to me!

The way I look at it is this, she should never have helped herself to the oak chairs in the first place, and should be grateful I have all but given her my pine table that she took.

I'm going to have it out with her but I want to see what people think of the situation first.

AIBU? If I am I really can't see how!

Sorry it's long and if you've got down the page this far then bless you and please give me some advice!

OP posts:
ThisIsNotMyLife · 17/04/2012 16:37

Buy a tape measure and check first the next time you go furniture shopping.

Mother2many · 17/04/2012 16:40

I agree with MissFaversham and Bambino...

KatieMiddleton · 17/04/2012 16:44

I think you should invest in a tape measure and get out more Wink

Deadsouls · 17/04/2012 17:26

Thank you OP, your post has brightened up my day ( rainy and dreary as it is), and made me laugh. It may have been unintentional but what with all the chair swapping and tables, trips to IKEA, the chairs from the junk shop...I don't know it is really funny. Sorry I'm not much help Grin, hope the chair situation gets sorted soon!

Deadsouls · 17/04/2012 17:27

Oh and I am still totally confused by who has what chairs Confused

MerryMarigold · 17/04/2012 17:31

She's BU:

a) To feel huffy when she's not paid for any of it
b) To slag you off behind your back to your Mum

You should speak to her about both. And if it's out of character ask first if she is ok.

WineOhWhy · 17/04/2012 17:32

to be fair to the sister, although she has not paid for any of the tables and chairs, she has been providing free storage space to everyone.

Goolash · 17/04/2012 17:36

I need some new chairs.

Hopandaskip · 17/04/2012 17:38

I'd be tempted to screech "fine, we'll give the chairs to mum and I'll have my pine table back."

marcopuffin · 17/04/2012 17:38

Sister is being petty and passive aggressive by saying all's fine and then being huffy, almost like she wanted to get angry. However, am I reading it right that all the furniture not in use was stored in your sister's garage? Hmmm... I have had similar scenarios where people store stuff with me, take it for granted and then even give me instructions, like "make sure that item doesn't get damaged, so and so is very fond of it"! This can cause me to become majorly pissed off, though not to the point of being dishonest and passive aggressive. Is there anything like that that you may not have been aware of?

BillyBollyBandy · 17/04/2012 17:39

Oak table and chairs was in sister's garage
OP went to get table and chairs but sister using oak chairs
OP takes oak table, leaves pine table in it's place.
OP buys numerous chairs, none of which fit oak table
Sister uses pine table without asking OP
OP asks sister for oak chairs, sister agrees but stops talking to OP

OP is owner of pine table
DM is owner of oak table and chairs
Sister is a pisshead

I think that is it in a nutshell

MerryMarigold · 17/04/2012 17:49

Wineohwhy. To be REALLY fair, sister been providing free storage only to her Mum. OP swapped table with Mum therefore not her table anymore.

marcopuffin · 17/04/2012 17:51

Sister is a pisshead

I think that is it in a nutshell

Excellent summary, ha ha!

DeWe · 17/04/2012 18:48

How do you break a dining table? Confused

Hebiegebies · 17/04/2012 18:58

DeWe, you need to get out more Grin

In truth, the oak table and chairs belong(ed) to mum, she lent table to op and sister (other daughter) was using the chairs.

Now op has nice table and chairs sister as unwanted pine table and mismatched chairs.

Op has had what she wanted, sister just got used as a storage facility

Think I'm siding with the sister, would be a bit Hmm if my mum gave my sister the nice family heirlooms and I got my sisters cast offs

TooEasilyTempted · 17/04/2012 19:10

YABU. If you can afford to buy a variety of chairs without even bothering to check if they fit, then you can afford to put your furniture into storage, rather than expecting your sister to have her garage filled with your unwanted shite.

albertswearengen · 17/04/2012 19:15

I think I'd like to go to one of your sister's parties- they sound mad judging by the number of table and chairs she gets through. Other than that she is BU and you have nothing to feel guilty about.

Ilovedaintynuts · 17/04/2012 19:22

I've read the OP through three times and it still makes no sense.
Something about loads of unsuitable chairs...I can't quite tell.

Hopandaskip · 17/04/2012 19:27

what about seeing if you can take the chairs you bought back and offering the money to sis towards getting the chairs she wants?

tethersend · 17/04/2012 19:28

I think you all need a big sit down.

Dozer · 17/04/2012 19:28

The OP has casually implied that her sister is a pisshead and let it be known that she is the golden daughter, having DM to stay for 14 months, and thoughtful about people's cars etc. And that she "felt awful" about the chair dilemma.

YABU for martyr behaviour, judgment about DSis and being so crap with a tape-measure.

Dozer · 17/04/2012 19:29

Yes, agree, OP also unreasonable for poor description of situation!

Blu · 17/04/2012 19:37

I don't understand why you didn't ask her for the oak chairs in the first place when you picked up the small oak table.

Or why you don't measure the gap between tables and the width of chairs (having made the same mistake twice)

However, she has been thoroughly unreasonable.

Maybe she thinks that now your Mum is not living with you, you have no more right to use your Mum's furniture than she does? And thinks you have had the pick of your Mum's oak while she gets your pine cast offs? When tackling a protagonist it always helps to know where they might be coming from so you can prepare accordingly.

Daughteroflilith · 17/04/2012 20:07

I don't understand how the sis can be such a pisshead that she can break so much stuff. OK, the odd wine glass, but a table?! And chairs?!

Deadsouls · 17/04/2012 20:27

Haha....I've just come back to this thread and it's still running. Daughteroffililty pmsl......all the posts are making me laugh out loud...it's a load of old CHAIRS!!