to wonder if school staff rooms involve much parent bashing?

[lottielou39]

A comment below (in the thread about childcare being too expensive for people to do poorly paid part time work) from someone who worked in a nursery and said the weekly meetings were mostly about parent bashing, got me wondering. What are school staff rooms really like? I'd love to be a fly on the wall. Are parents slagged off on a daily basis? Which parents cause the most dread? Is it ever possible for a parent to have a valid gripe (in the eyes of the school staff room) or are they always stupid and annoying?

Well yes they do talk about parents and children, but tbh must of the time is spent chatting about other stuff!

are parents the great feared enemy, or do they ever get sympathy?

Not in secondary. Apart from the violent ones that the police have to be called for.

They're fair game

I work in a school and parents are barely discussed tbh.

We might talk about the students, or a specific student who is causing an issue; but it's much more likely that we will talk about next term's scheme of work, or how a particular aspect of the teaching is going, or last night's episode of The Apprentice!

It's a secondary school so I guess parents are much less in evidence. Most of them that I know anythign about are very supportive anyway.

what about in lower schools and primary schools?

I suspect that staffrooms are full of office politics, just like everywhere else where people work together. Many staff will have their own feelings about their colleagues, which will play a part in whether or not they think that parent reactions to their colleagues treatment of children is justified or not.

And of course staff in schools do sometimes see that the parents have a point. I've been in and seen the Head because I was unhappy with a situation in school, he agreed with me and changed the situation. There didn't seem to be any resentment towards me raising a concern at all.

most teachers are too busy working in their breaktimes to have time to talk about parents. :(

From knowing a few teachers myself, it seems that they wait until they are away from the school setting to do the moaning.
Main topics seem to be parents who wont make an effort for their kids (help with study habits, getting them the gym shoes they need, sending back notes that need to be signed) or parents who think their darlings can do no wrong. Often it is about students themselves (with no names mentioned) that have been terribly funny, or have been terribly bad.

Some children bashing if little buggers/ some bottom set on a Friday afternoon whingeing but not that much parent bashing in my experience apart from the odd vent if just dealing with someone on phone being an arse, or just rung to complain about Jimmy swearing to have the 'I don't know where the little fucker gets it from' response
Possibly a bit more discussion the day after a parent's evening.
Parental concerns were usually aired in morning briefing and taken seriously - parents' charter, professionalism, walls have ears etc This is secondary btw
Parents causing most dread...
= in denial preciousfb - my child would never have done such a thing
= obnoxious aggressive sweary in your face
= completely inaffective in supporting attendance, hw etc
but the first group got on my tits the most.

So busy with classroom activities never make it into the staffroom at break or lunch. Only time I am in staffroom is for staff meetings parents are not talked about there's no time.

Well I have worked in primary too and we didn't talk about parents there. I was one tho, so maybe they were being discreet in front of me?? Doubt it somehow tho.

Come on OP what have you done?! tell your auntydisagree....

My HOD regularly politely finishes phone calls with parents, puts the phone down and calls the parent a stupid cow or similar.

Some parent-bashing in staffroom, yep, especially just after Parents' Evening (didn't turn up, were rude, argued over their child's head etc). Some parents are crap. If I have a student who gets no support at home I'm pleased if someone tells me that tbh - it helps me understand them better.

I will also point out that I phone parents a lot about positive and negative things and generally don't feel the need to call them names! We are on the same side, and I personally really like communicating with parents. I only really get annoyed (inwardly, of course!) if they clearly couldn't give a shit about how their kid is progressing or behaving.

From knowing a few teachers myself, it seems that they wait until they are away from the school setting to do the moaning.

My experience exactly.

I grew up in a family of teachers, everything from primary to university level. There was a fair bit of bitching at our home - but to be fair it was often well deserved.

My lovely mum is now the head of regional SEN services where she lives. She is regularly shouted at, verbally abused and even threatened with violence by parents who simply can't accept that their precious offspring may never take a PhD from Harvard.

In these kinds of situations I actually think moaning and mocking is a much healthier response than quietly despairing of the whole thing.

Second yr list Agreeto's but wld add the pushy parent who demands that their DC is put into the Gifted and Talented group. Or wants to know in detail why they are not. Generally seen as completely delusional by the staff.

I work in a small secondary special school and my colleagues and I adore our students but have some humdingers of parents, who do get verbally bashed behind closed doors from time to time. When you're dealing with parents who deliberately send in expired medication to "test" us, who promise their autistic daughter they are coming to the school show and don't turn up (as usual: cue meltdown), who send their children to school with empty drug wrappers in their shoes etc etc etc you could argue it is deserved.

(We also have some saintly parents who are as adored as the students)

Having received a copy of my sons school file, i would say most of it is spent talking about parents, especially the 'awkward' ones.

God, i would think it would be a safe haven to let rip if i was a teacher.

I would expect that it will happen at times, in the same way that I would expect most workers to bitch about people they have to deal with in their break periods.

I've been in the staffrooms of primary schools and heard things that made my hair curl.
Certainly in Thailand there was often discussion about a couple of mums who had previously been in the adult entertainment industry.

Our Lower School staff used to run a book on who was most likely to forget wellies/permission slips/packed lunch/head etc ... Son's Mate's Mum and myself featured regularly!

She was massively offended when we found out and I was quite tickled, but I did make an effort to get a bit more organised thereafter ...

As a supply teacher I was in many staff rooms-I would say that it only happens when you get a difficult or 'precious' parent and then people's eyes just tend to roll-there is no need to discuss-everyone knows they are a pain and to be avoided.

Yes the unreasonable, annoying, pain in the arse parents get bashed...it's human nature really.

If you're a stressed teacher with one or two ridiculous parents stressing you out, you're going to relieve that stress by discussing them with your colleagues because they'll understand.

Our staff spend most of their time discussing the merits of what baked potato filling they will be having at lunchtime.

I have very rarely heard parent bashing (primary school).