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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

adults with learning difficulties on small childrens' play area.

580 replies

Bethshine82 · 15/04/2012 16:40

Took DS to the play area on Friday, it is not a huge play area and has one of those signs saying it is designed for use by children 14 and under.
Whilst we were there a group of around eight adults with learning difficulties and their carers arrived. The adults proceeded to go onto the playground.
AIBU to think this isn't very fair? They were adults and they weren't really aware of their strength and size. The carers weren't supervising brilliantly and twice I saw one of the adults just shove the children out of the way. Also some of the adults were shouting and screaming which frightened some of the toddlers. Many of the children left. I'm not in any way suggesting that adults with learning difficulties shouldn't be able to go out and enjoy themselves or that they shouldn't be part of the community, I'm just not sure a small childrens' play area is the place for an adults' afternoon out.

I think that the playground should only be used by children, it isn't safe otherwise really. AIBU?

OP posts:
hathorinareddress69 · 17/04/2012 14:32

Actually, that post of yours reads as if because they are adults with a learning difficulty, they have to somehow "prove" they're safe to be around others before they're allowed out.

And that is just wrong.

Agincourt · 17/04/2012 14:36

They don't ignore my daughter beth, they look at her as if she is repulsive

claw4 · 17/04/2012 14:42

I havent seen the blind insistence on this thread that anyone who thinks adult and toddlers sharing play equipement is evil and want LD children exterminated.

I have seen lots of people saying if the op felt the adults were not being supervised properly then she should have had a word with the carers or reported the carers.

The equipment was recommended for up to 14 years of age and like many have said a lot of 14 year olds are adult sized. Both of my ds's were over 6 foot and weighed about 12 stone at 14.

What was the risk? other than being totally pedantic over a sign making a recommendation

Original poster
Bethshine82 · 17/04/2012 14:46

One of my posts hath? Where? Nothing was further from my intentions.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bethshine82 · 17/04/2012 14:49

But claw it was also in the toddler area. So there were tinies with very large adults.
Anyway I will stop now having already had death wished on my child. It won't matter what I say.
agin that ie awful. X

OP posts:
claw4 · 17/04/2012 14:55

Beth, was it possible for very large adults to fit on 2 year equipment? Do you mean they were using the 2 year old equipment or just in the area?

Im sorry that you have received a terrible message.

Codandchops · 17/04/2012 14:58

I have tried to stay off of this thread because I knew how it would end. On an Internet forum it's easy to become offended about something which really has not been said or intended.
I have a autistic child, he gravitates towards younger children because they are on his wavelength. I tend to be a very "helicopter mother" Grin at those times and remind DS to be careful and to be aware that some of the children are quite a bit smaller than he is. FWIW he would be mortified and upset if he thought he had hurt anybody.
The other issue is that he gets upset and cannot cope with being teased. This causes problems as young children quickly pick up on this but have not yet got the maturity or social skills needed NOT to tease him.
So supervision IS important. I worry about smaller children when my tall 9 year old gravitates towards them. I worry about my son too who struggles socially.

FWIW Beth I understood your OP, and did not for one moment think you were saying the people in question should not be allowed there. I understood that you were asking "is this an appropriate activity for adults" (yes it may be if their development age is appropriate) and " is there a safety risk"? (Yes there could be if all parties are not being supervised adequately).

youarekidding · 17/04/2012 15:07

I'm so glad codandchips read it how I did and agrees with me. (I posted a few pages back).

The important bit of your post OP is adults in a children's play area. Take out the part about LD and the answers you get would be very different.

As I've said before I work with children with LD and it's horrible to see the way members of the public stare, presume they're dangerous, and cross the road to avoid us.

I agree with what wannabe says. But would add that people with disabilities are part of society, they are one of us, human. But that means societal rules apply - and if that's adhering to an age limit then so be it.

Original poster
Bethshine82 · 17/04/2012 15:26

claw not the swings or the rockers because they were way to small but the roundabout and the seasaw and the small climbing frame. The equipment was really still much too small really. That is why I wondered why the people with them hadn't encouraged the group to use the larger equipment which would have probably been more enjoyable for them anyway. Although what do I know. Someone will be a long in a minute and accuse me of being prejudiced for saying the adults might have been better suited size and development wise to the larger equipment. I'll be told it is because I didn't want my toddler being put out. Even though that isn't what I mean.

OP posts:
AThingInYourLife · 17/04/2012 15:27

"Actually, that post of yours reads as if because they are adults with a learning difficulty, they have to somehow "prove" they're safe to be around others before they're allowed out.

And that is just wrong."

Oh don't be so idiotic, this is exactly the kind of disingenuous misrepresenting of views that leads to people getting death threats against their children.

My point is, and only ever has been, that adults and toddlers shouldn't be using the same equipment at the same time.

I don't accept that there is a level of supervision that would make that safe.

2shoes · 17/04/2012 15:36

AwkwardMaryHadAnEasterLamb Tue 17-Apr-12 13:47:06
what a lovely post Thanks

Aboutlastnight · 17/04/2012 16:13

Bethshine - I would report the private message to mumsnet as that is out of order.

My big concern is the adults/parents I see sitting on play equipment gossiping and making it very difficult for children to actually play on it.

Agincourt · 17/04/2012 16:22

yes you need to report the private message.

I had one this weekend wanting me to be his partner and he send me a photo Hmm

saintlyjimjams · 17/04/2012 17:19

Ok so it sounds as if the carers should have herded the adults into the 14 section? Would that have been a problem? I think we're all agreed that carers who laugh at someone who has hurt themselves are misnamed.

Yes do report the pm - I don't think any of us would think death threats to be appropriate. Personally all I want is for my son to be treated as a human being rather than a vegetable and to be allowed to mind his own (noisy) business without everyone making it their business.

2shoes · 17/04/2012 17:20

disgusting that any one would send a PM like that, do report

Agincourt · 17/04/2012 17:20

so you don't want my photo jimjams? i can offer you true friendship Wink

claw4 · 17/04/2012 17:30

Beth i think everyone on this thread agreed with you that the adults should have been properly supervised.

I think your op may have been a bit misleading as you said it had a sign saying it is designed for use by children 14 and under, not that the adults were playing in a area designed for 2 year olds, and they were trying to play on miniature equipment designed for 2 year olds. I didnt see you mention this previously, i must missed it.

Spiraling · 17/04/2012 17:31

someone i know was v. upset when she saw her adult son on a child's activity, for her it is not appropiate and made a complaint. There are plenty of adult activities he could do and his care home clearly have no understanding and v. old attitudes that need changing.

She takes him (or use to, since leaving school where he was well supported to an adult home, his health and mental state has deoriated significantly) to many places. The homes blame it on the fact they have to do health and safety audit going to places....

SauvignonBlanche · 17/04/2012 18:41

Beth you should report that, it's completly unacceptable Shock
AwkwardMary, you have restored my faith in human nature! Thanks

saintlyjimjams · 17/04/2012 18:59

I'd love your photo agincourt but only if you can offer me loads of money. Sod friendship. Grin

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/04/2012 20:31

Great pics.

Agree PM was out of order

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 17/04/2012 20:44

Brilliant pictures tazzle Smile

tazzle · 17/04/2012 21:20

thank you

Matt is the lad in the chair, my friends son ..... he absolutely loves horses and he does horse agility with Taz. He does not get to ride her very often as it takes four fit people to get him on board Grin . We are all almost decrepit one way or another ... am thinking of digging a ditch for Taz to stand in !

The others are a few of the lads I work with (all on autistic spectrum) ... one of who can ditch the 2:1 support he needs when he is with Taz Wink

justaboutisnowakiwi · 17/04/2012 21:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.