adults with learning difficulties on small childrens' play area.

[Bethshine82]

Took DS to the play area on Friday, it is not a huge play area and has one of those signs saying it is designed for use by children 14 and under.
Whilst we were there a group of around eight adults with learning difficulties and their carers arrived. The adults proceeded to go onto the playground.
AIBU to think this isn't very fair? They were adults and they weren't really aware of their strength and size. The carers weren't supervising brilliantly and twice I saw one of the adults just shove the children out of the way. Also some of the adults were shouting and screaming which frightened some of the toddlers. Many of the children left. I'm not in any way suggesting that adults with learning difficulties shouldn't be able to go out and enjoy themselves or that they shouldn't be part of the community, I'm just not sure a small childrens' play area is the place for an adults' afternoon out.

I think that the playground should only be used by children, it isn't safe otherwise really. AIBU?

Exactly zzzzz, more violence and crimes are committed by people without disabilities, in fact people with disabilities are often on the receiving end. People giving one personal account of a bad experience with person with a disability, is nothing more than scaremongering, particularly when nothing actually happened.

Thanks zzzzz & claw4 summed up beautifully. Bowing out now, playing havoc with my B.P.

Wouldn't bother me seeing adults with LD using play equipment, or the children's library (a couple use ours) or anything similar. Learning disabilities are a part of life. A lot of the 'reasons' people come up with for wanting to exclude people with disabilities from activities are bogus. Fundamentally (and often subconsciously) you are afraid of and offended by the disabilities. If you had more experience, you'd get less het up and be nicer. Just my opinion :)

YANBU OP for being concerned about the poor supervision being given to these vulnerable people by their carers. What a shame you are being used as a lightning rod by others who probably have legitimate concerns, but as usual people are wildly overgeneralising here.

Unfortunately experiences like the OPs can only set back any prospect of improved integration of people with LDs in the community and telling her its her fault for being intolerant is not gonig to change anything. I would have no qualms in removing my toddler from such a situation if I thought she was at risk from anyone else, as her safety is paramount to me and any possible offence caused to an unknown third party is, frankly tough shit to them.

You could possibly smile and remove your toddler in a pleasant way?

and not in a "tough shit to you if you are offended" manner?

i have said 100000 times on here that there doesn't seem to be much kindness about, it's all about "rights" and "our right to be safe" and not much just general nice kindness.

Yes, quite. I often remove my toddler from play equipment for his safety. The ones threatening his safety tend to be other children, a bit bigger and a bit rougher. I don't huff and puff about it and suggest that other children shouldn't be allowed to use the equipment. Public areas are for the public, and he and I are just two members.

Pinkelephant, exactly if you think your toddler is at serious risk from anyone, her safety is paramount and you should remove her, i would do exactly the same thing.

But the people who have given examples didnt remove their toddlers/babies, so obviously didnt think there was a risk, otherwise they would have removed them surely!

I have started another thread to balance things out and give the sn community a chance to to tell what they have to put up with

The thread title is misleading.
This was not a 'small childrens'' play area.
It was a play area for children 14 and under.
My 14 year old son is 6 foot 1 tall and weighs far more than me.
These age restrictions have more to do with discouraging hoardes of teenagers from gathering in play parks, than the strength of the play equipment.

If you were worried about the safety of your child, then leave the park and go back later.
If your child was upset about the noises the adults were making then explain to your child about learning difficulties in an age-approriate manner.
If you were worried that the adults were in danger because the staff being paid to ensure their safety were being neglectful or abusive (and laughing at someone who has fallen over when your job is to care for them IS abusive), then challenge the staff and ask to know where they work.

Do. Something.

The park use really isn't a big issue.

Nothing got broken.
No-one got badly hurt.

The big issue is that vulnerable adults did not seem to be being cared for appropriately - and the parents of the children in the park seemed more worried about the fact their child had to wait for a turn on the swing than dealing with the poor care the adults were receiving.

An inclusive community requires people to speak up and defend those who cannot defend themselves.

I would have an issue with adults with learning difficulties if they were poorly supervised. but there is a group that uses my local play park regularly, they are one to one supervised and there has never been an issue. my son at 2 is to young to understand these peoples problems but I hope my seeing them in our community from a young age he will grow up to have tollerance.
for me this is an oppotunity to learn to share.... and like anywhere we go, if the play is to much for his size we move......
this group even bought all the children icepops last week, which my ds really approved of!

Unfortunately experiences like the OPs can only set back any prospect of improved integration of people with LDs in the community and telling her its her fault for being intolerant is not gonig to change anything. I would have no qualms in removing my toddler from such a situation if I thought she was at risk from anyone else, as her safety is paramount to me and any possible offence caused to an unknown third party is, frankly tough shit to them.

Eh? Why is society's inability to cope with people with learning disabilities our fault? I think the OP has been pretty reasonable actually, especially with her replies and I responded in kind (I hope). But I don't feel a great warm glow towards society in general when every time we step outside the front door with ds1 we have hassle (even been told I'm exaggerating that - oh how I wish - and another reminded ds1 in his 13 years on this earth has never once hurt a member of the public, nor has he even tried to). So we have to put up with tough shit to them because someone imagines without any evidence that the person with learning disabilities might suddenly squash a child on a slide large enough for a 14 year old (I'm not talking about the OP here). (Reminder that in the OP description, no-one was hurt other than a person with learning disabilities who was then laughed at). Tough shit to her I guess.

saintly..yes, I have stares/comments/hassle every time we go out too, at moment it's on a minor level as DD still seems young enough to get away with toddlerish behaviour but I don't think it is going to get any easier :(

"tough shit to them" also sounded horrible to me.

I so wish some of you who have issues with poorly supervised vulnerable adults were social workers tbh. It might really help. As it is most children and adults with severe learning disabilities are left more vulnerable than they are already through inadequate care and non existent support for their carers, who in a lot of cases will be ageing parents.

But none of you care about that, you care about the rules of the park

I don't go a day without being stared or tutted at either. The intolerance is staggering and is far more prevalent than people being supportive or understanding. The fact alot of you don't seem to be able to cope with involuntary shouting/screaming/noise in general is just about the tip of the iceburg to where the intolerance starts.

I suppose at least one person is bound to come out with something crappy or stare in horror every time one is out if you live in a well populated area.

Our latest thing is on buses, I sit in disabled space with DD as she is very hard to get off bus and flops down on floor and almost every time I get comments from old ladies who think we shouldn't be sitting there (she sits very quietly on bus so I suppose her SN is not evident)...the other day one said to another very loudly "It would be easier to reach the bell if I am sitting there but THEY are..changed days" ..wears you down...and the comments about dog leads when DD has her reins on, and the looks of sad shock as people realise DD has a disability...quelle horreur...I need blinkers when going out.

We went to lidl and some intolerant woman started saying to her husband
'have you seen her, have you seen her?? she's looking at us ^look at her' etc etc and my dd was doing NOTHING, she was just shopping quietly and this woman was aghast and really quite perplexed that a young girl with SLd would out shopping with her mother ffs. My dd told the woman to shut up, actually she screamed it. She may have SLD but she isn't deaf and she isn't fucking stupid.

and no,i didn't apologise

God I am really angry now, i think i ought to hide the thread

I hear ya Agincourt..one day I am going to tell someone to fuck right off, and they will take they brunt of my annoyance at 1000 other people..like when you win a prize for being the 1000th person through a shop door..well, be the 1000th person to comment on DD and you will get a surprise

Oh i know Fanjo.

IT really upsets me too that when dd says 'Hello' to someone about 95% of the population COMPLETELY IGNORE HER and look aghast! Since when was it acceptable to leave your manners at home because the person has a disability or special needs?

My ds is 7 now, we have been lucky and up to now people have been tolerant. I have to say it is small children (4 to 6 year olds) that reject his presence.

I was at the park the other day, a mum with her 4 year old son was there. My ds is extremely friendly and went over to say hello. The mum was really nice and even played with him. We met them for a second time, and once again the mum was nice, however her child had obviously had enough of my DS and said in a nice loud voice "Lets go I don't want him near me".

I understand the child's frustration, it is difficult coping with a person who is different, I don't blame him. I find that bigger children have more patience.

I am however very concerned about what will happen to my son when he becomes a teenager and an adult. Will people continue to be tolerant? It is so very worrying for me, I just want him to continue to be happy.

This thread makes me feel ill :(

IME people stop being nice when your child stops being 'cute'

If the adults weren't being properly cared for, then that is an issue. But as for the rest - if they were kept tucked away, hidden from sight, then how are our children supposed to understand that vulnerable people are part of the world that we all live in?

I don't have any personal experience of SN in my family, so maybe I'm naive. But it seems to me that keeping everyone separate only serves to perpetuate a small-minded notion that difference is bad, something to be stared at, something to be tormented.

I still remember when my dds were about 6 and 3 and had a whale of a time on a playground with a lovely lady, whose companion was careful to help her choose equipment that suited adult size. At the end, the companion thanked me for "letting" the girls play with her. I found it sad that she needed to thank me, but apparently many parents would have ushered their children away.