Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about his ex?????

55 replies

jessieexeter · 14/04/2012 18:06

DHs ex has always wanted more money - now has asked for money for her when DHs 2 kids go off to uni 2012 and 2013???

what's the feeling out there??

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 14/04/2012 18:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MelodyPondering · 14/04/2012 18:09

Is the money to pay for uni costs? Rents etc? He doesn't have to pay anything towards these, but many decent dad would if he had the money.

Hebiegebies · 14/04/2012 18:09

If its for the kids that's normal, but for her?

MelodyPondering · 14/04/2012 18:11

any decent dad...

Original poster
jessieexeter · 14/04/2012 18:12

yes he does want to pay -but we want to pay the kids directly and help them both through uni -why does she the ex want the money to come to her ?

surely it should go directly to DHs kids once they leave her to go to uni?

OP posts:
Shakirasma · 14/04/2012 18:13

He will have to pay up until each child turn 19.

Beyond that he does not have to pay anything to the ex, but any decent dad would give his student children some financial support direct to them.

Shakirasma · 14/04/2012 18:14

Legally he has to pay the ex until the kids turn 19.

MelodyPondering · 14/04/2012 18:14

Tell her no and pay it straight to them then, unless she is paying for the accommodation in advance or something?

What does she say its for?

Original poster
jessieexeter · 14/04/2012 18:17

okay -yes he is paying her now as they are year 11 and year12 -but when they leave for uni -he wants to pay an allowance directly to them-is that not the way?

our 3 children are only 14,12 and 10 -so not got into all this uni stuff yet-but why should he pay her -don't trust her to give it onto them.

she's remarried -and no money worries!!

OP posts:
Original poster
jessieexeter · 14/04/2012 18:18

why is it 19???

OP posts:
MelodyPondering · 14/04/2012 18:20

In that case I think he should discuss it with his children when they go to uni and agree their allowance and what its for.

She isn't entitled to get anything after they are 19.

Shakirasma · 14/04/2012 18:20

Because that's the law. Child support ( ie maintenance to the other parent) must be paid until a child turns 19 if they are on full time education.

I agree it is better paid to the kids themselves at that age, but I don't make the law.

MelodyPondering · 14/04/2012 18:20

I think its 19 if they are in full time education...

WaitingForMe · 14/04/2012 18:22

Of course she gets nothing. I fully expect that DH and I will be supporting my stepsons in one way or another for the rest of their lives (helping with a deposit, buying them a sofa, buying a cot when they have kids) but it has nothing to do with their mother once they are 19.

Elk · 14/04/2012 18:28

When I went to College my df paid the money he had previously paid to my dm to me. During the long holidays when I went back home I then contributed towards the household expenses.

HTH.

DPrince · 14/04/2012 18:40

My kids aren't this age and I am confused. If they are year 11 and 12 they wouldn't be going to uni until the end of 2013 (oldest) and 2014 (youngest). or has it changed I would have gone to uni at the end of year 13, is it not that way anymore?

mummytime · 14/04/2012 18:50

My Uncle had to pay until 21 when his youngest was in full time education.

VodkaJelly · 14/04/2012 18:59

19 is only what the CSA say. If you have a private agreement it could be 18/19/20 etc. And court orders vary, they could be up to 21 so it depends on how the maintenance is being paid

Original poster
jessieexeter · 14/04/2012 19:01

yes -you are right -they are year 12 and 13 now -I get confused as it used to be lower and upper sixth in my day.

didn't know it was up to age 19 in full-time education though -mmmmmmm.

must check this out

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 14/04/2012 19:02

from what I can gather child maintenance is only paid up to and including A levels. as soon as the child is in university the child maintenance payments stop.

www.sfla.co.uk/endmaintenance.htm sith paragraph down, but it may be out of date.

BoneyBackJefferson · 14/04/2012 19:03

"16 is the minimum age where child maintenance can stop. Between the ages of 16 and 19, if the child is enrolled full-time in school (more than 12 hours per week and the course is up to and including A level), child maintenance for the child must be paid. This does not apply to advanced study, like study at a college or university,"

DPrince · 14/04/2012 19:16

Still confused. The oldest will be in ft education for most of this year and the younger one all this year and most of next. So the issue is she wants to be paid for both until the end of 2013?

Original poster
jessieexeter · 14/04/2012 19:21

hello DPrince

she still wants to be paid for the eldest even after sept 2012 when she goes to uni but we want to pay the money directly to the DD as an allowance. we will still pay to her for the younger child for another school year and then do the same for him i.e. pay it as an allowance directly to him in sept 2013 -we hope.

OP posts:
ChocHobNob · 14/04/2012 19:56

19 is only for those in non - advanced full time education. Not university. He will be required to pay the ex until the September that they start at Uni and then he can pay towards the children directly.

ThisIsNotMyLife · 14/04/2012 20:01

It's not up to her once they're adults. Your DH can just pay it directly to them. She can get as annoyed as she likes and it won't make any difference.

Swipe left for the next trending thread