AIBU about his ex?????

[jessieexeter]

DHs ex has always wanted more money - now has asked for money for her when DHs 2 kids go off to uni 2012 and 2013???

what's the feeling out there??

CrunchyFrog, the bill for those will come directly to the DC, there's no reason for the mother to get the money first, the Father should continue to pay the money directly to the DCs (it's not like you'll miss it, you're used to paying it anyway). If the mum wants to charge them rent for the holidays, that's between her and the DCs. Not all students go home for every holiday, not all students of divorced parents choose to spend their holidays with the parent who had RP status when they were a child.

OP - still allocate the money, but to the DCs directly, you probably don't have to, but it's the morally right thing to do.

Oh I do love these threads. Nasty grasping RPs.

XH and his family, and much of the rest of the world, seem to think I should be pathetically grateful for the legal minimum child support I get. 20% of his income. What % of my income goes on them, do you suppose?

I put myself through university, had to work FT as my father's income precluded me getting help with fees - but he did not choose to contribute. And legally, he was off the hook of course.

I put myself through uni, I can get why parents want to help their children, but lets face it they dont have.

A lot of children are having to support themselves through uni, with no parental help, because parents cant afford it.

There are always options such as Camp America, etc, for the holidays (which are fantastic opportunities in their own right and which I will be encouraging my DC to aim for).

CSA btw can over ride any financial agreements made now, so long as there is a certain time scale for them to run.

My agreement with eldests dad (very losely), is if DC lives at home for uni, he is going to help me out and give most to DC, but if DC goes away to uni, he is going to give money direct to DC.

However I very much doubt his money will be as much as it is while eldest is in school.

@Crunchy. I don't hear anyone say 'nasty grasping RP's'

I'm a RP myself and trust me, I get way less than 20% of my ex's income and I consider myself lucky. It doesn't even cover the costs of travel to visit their mum. So if you want to compare lots, many LP's have it worse.

But the kids when at uni are adults and as such there's no need anymore to pay the mother. The kids should be able to stand on their own two feet and manage their own money.

Like I said though, being 18+ doesn't mean you stop being their parent so that's why I said the fairest thing to do is give them the money directly.

I haven't read anyone saying not to give money to dcs when they are at uni - I think it's pretty unaminous that the money should go to them instead of the previously RP.

The RP does have the choice whether to downsize home/rent the room out or keep it free for the uni holidays - to charge rent for the dc during those times or not.

All of these things should be discussed before an adult takes on the decision to go to uni and incur the debt.

Very sadly it is back to old days, only the wealthy can afford to go to uni everyone else will have to incur debt and make other sacrifices in order to go.