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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to complain about Londoners?

235 replies

NearlyMrsCustardsHardHat · 14/04/2012 00:45

I have just gone from brixton to Liverpool street in tears and with a very heavy limp. I am in agony right now and not one person has stopped to ask if im ok.

Considering the time (midnight) if you saw a woman limping through the tube network in tears would you stop her and ask if she's ok? Or aibu to think someone might have helped me?

disclaimer: i met people at both ends of the journey so am home fine just pissed off at how people will just walk past someone in such obvious difficulty. Aibu to be disgusted by it?

OP posts:

2shoes · 14/04/2012 13:04

yabu
and a attention seeker

akaemmafrost · 14/04/2012 13:09

I live in London and I would have helped you. I know this because I have done similar in the past. The thing is you do have to weigh it up before you can get involved because things can be very shady here sometimes. I probably would have watched you for a while, checked out how you were dressed and looked in general and then come to see how you were. Its not about being judgemental or uncaring, in a place like this you have to look after yourself too and you can't just go steaming in. Things are not always as they seem.

I will say that in 10 years or bringing up children in London and travelling all over with buggies, never once have I ever had to carry a buggy up a set up stairs by myself, I have had everyone from men/women in suits, families, youths in hoodies, highly made up young gangs of girls etc help me.

So yes YABU but I can imagine it must have been very distressing and frightening for you.

tinkertitonk · 14/04/2012 13:17

Yes OP, I see you have fibromyalgia and spinal problems but your post is vile and inexcusable.

NotAnotherPackedLunch · 14/04/2012 13:35

YABVU.
If all Londoners were true cunts, then what are the chances of a vulnerable looking passenger reaching the end of their journey unmolested and with all their possessions?

YahYah · 14/04/2012 13:37

The last time wr stopped to help A distressed woman her boyfriend attacked my DP and while I was trying to help hi
she stole my handbag

Some People are cunts, not just londeners

sausagesandmarmelade · 14/04/2012 15:18

YABU for your title.....and for stereotyping londoners in the way that you have....stupidly and ignorantly!!!!!

I can think of several occasions when I have stopped to help someone else....and have in turn been helped by other kind people in LONDON, yes LONDON!!!

So while you are feeling sorry for yourself....please remember that many Londoners will willingly stop and offer help to someone in trouble, pain or distress. Don't tar us all with the same brush!

Getableedinggrip · 14/04/2012 15:24

People may not have noticed you OP

Emmielu · 14/04/2012 15:32

Not all Londoners are actually from London. Some were brought up elsewhere but moved to London. I wouldn't go judging londoners or people living there. It's one heck of a busy place & some people there would rather just get to the place they have to be in. Sorry that you had a bad night but I wouldn't expect someone to help me.

I had a fit once at a place near Suffolk, during the day, DD & a few of my friends were there too. I went to the loo, came out to find them, had a fit & only 1 stranger out of hundreds helped me. Only cause she was a nurse. She was on holiday from america aswell. See my point op? Not everyone is confident enough to help.

amicissimma · 14/04/2012 15:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

helloclitty · 14/04/2012 15:45

FYI
Arrived at a night club in Newcastle for an event I had pre bought a ticket for, I was stone cold sober and got refused entry because "I was a fucking southerner". The bouncers didn't like my accent apparently and refused me entry or a refund because they had "the right to refuse".

I don't think all Mancunians are cunts though

Mopswerver · 14/04/2012 15:45

I lived in London for 20yrs and although I really sympathise with you I would be reluctant to engage with a stranger at midnight. I have been on the wrong end of two violent incidents whilst trying to go about my business so I guess that's why.
You see all forms of life on London streets and a great deal of 'walking wounded' but would you really want to start getting into an unknown situation at midnight on a tube station?. I would like to think I would have asked you firmly (and from a distance) if you were OK/needed help though.

Bobyan · 14/04/2012 17:09

In answer to your original question OP - yes all Londoners are, all 7.5 million of us, every single one of us with absolutely no exceptions, ever.

MagicHouse · 14/04/2012 17:24

I think that anyone who is travelling on the tube giving off "you are all c*nts for not helping me" vibes shouldn't be surprised when they get ignored.

RabidAnchovy · 14/04/2012 17:49

RabidAnchovy · 14/04/2012 17:50

Maybe you should just stay home dear

alWaqi · 14/04/2012 17:50

YANBU, and I'm a Londoner No but seriously, I have a mixed opinion on this one. Obviously YABU to think all Londoners are cunts based on one experience but as I've been known to mutter similar under my breath while trying to drag several suitcases around the tube system during rush hour I can't blame you for being annoyed in the heat of the moment And, sad as it is, I don't think you can necessarily expect help at that kind of time in a dodgy area for all the reasons other people have given, and I doubt that would be much different outside of London.

I have to say though, having grown up in London I never used to believe any of the stereotypes of unfriendly people until I moved out and found I really did notice a significant difference in other cities. I'm not sure what it is - I don't think Londoners in general are actually any ruder than people elsewhere but we do come across as less overtly friendly, probably because in a city so big and densely populated it just wouldn't be practical to say 'good morning' or whatever to every single person on the street like you can in some places. Same with helping people - it's not that we'd be less willing to help if necessary, but (as a broad generalisation) you are more likely to have to ask for help than in some cities. Again I don't know why - maybe also because we'd get annoyed if every one of the thousands of people we passed asked if we were OK every time we looked lost or upset There definitely seems to be more of a culture of minding your own business in London than in certain places, which probably makes us seem unhelpful if you're more used to people jumping to help you out straightaway.

I am a bit at some of the generalisations about northerners being made by people who object to the generalisation of Londoners, though...

cocoachannel · 14/04/2012 17:50

I'm another Londoner who had nothing but positive experiences travelling by tube throughout my pregnancy. I was usually offered a seat but if nobody had noticed me and I needed one I asked those sitting in the priority seats if they needed them (radical). If you genuinely need help and it's not forthcoming ask.

I actually find your thread title ridiculous OP, and whilst I'm sorry you had a poor experience I think tarring an entire city with the same brush is pathetic.

cocoachannel · 14/04/2012 18:01

On another note, was there really no free seats at that time of night from Brixton to Oxford Circus, OP? . It's the beginning of the line. Oxford Circus to Liverpool St I can see being busy, but doubt many of the people on that route are actually Londoners. So on your logic can I conclude that all people commuting out to Essex, Kent, Herts, Suffolk etc are cunts ?

BsshBossh · 14/04/2012 19:54

Sorry for your experience OP .

I'm a longtime Londoner and my experience of midnight Tube travel involve a fair few drunks and druggies who I try and avoid. I wonder if I'd been there if I would have assumed you were drunk too. If you asked for help then I would have helped you.

I've also had mainly positive experiences of commuting on the Tube. When visibly pregnant I rarely had to ask to sit down; 9 times out of 10 someone offered to help me carry the buggy up and down the stairs.

In my experience not all Londoners are cs. For goodness sake, I don't know all Londoners, though I grew up in Kent and was exposed to a fair few idiots. Are all Kentonians cs too?

By the way, midnight Tube at Brixton - it's the beginning of the line. Why were you not able to get a seat?

Secrecy · 14/04/2012 20:17

Others have already said what I wanted to say. In brief, YABU! But I'm sorry that you had a bad time, and I hope you feel better soon.

Perhaps time will give you some more perspective? I can understand you being cross.

Whatmeworry · 14/04/2012 20:23

Where can I buy the "I'm a Londoner and a Cunt" T Shirt, much nicer than those naff I heart London ones

BonnieBumble · 14/04/2012 20:30

I collapsed in my home town when I was a teenager and nobody stopped to help me. It's not just London.

eurochick · 14/04/2012 20:53

Whatmeworry I want one too!

I think in London for a start you have a high wierdo radar on and someone limping and crying their way across the tube network might just trigger it. The other thing is that I see people every day who might need help - someone with a pushchair confronted by stairs, an old lady with a heavy suitcase, someone passing out on a crowded train. Do I offer to help? To be honest, the answer is sometimes. It depends on whether or not I am feeling crap myself (for example I wouldn't offer to help with the pushchair or suitcase if my back was feeling a bit rough as it sometimes does and I would probably not help anyone if I had awful period pains and just wanted to get home). I passed a woman in a suit crying yesterday on my home. Could I have stopped? Yes. Did I? No. Do I feel guilty about it? A little bit. The chances are that she was a bit pissed and having man trouble and just needed to cry it out, but maybe it was more than that. But it was the end of the week and I just wanted to get home and not caught up in someone telling me their troubles.

I think Londoners do get immune to some extent because you see people every day that you could offer to help and maybe some people stop on every occasion, but I reckon most people are like me and help when they feel up to it or are in an altruistic mood, not 100% of the time.

fluffypillow · 14/04/2012 20:59

I hate that word. YABU just for using it .

MrsHeffley · 14/04/2012 21:05

We go to London a lot and have done since the dc were tiny.Personally I find the rush hour crowd less thoughtful than others(but I guess doing that daily you would become slightly jaded).Funnily enough I find teenagers massively helpful and far nicer than many people an awful lot older.

The last time we found ourselves in a crush with 3 kids 8,8 and 7 it was the teenagers telling people to look out and making sure the kids got off safely.We normally have a 35 minish journey home and rarely have a seat. The kids just have to poke up with it.

At Christmas the kids were hanging(exhausted) and 3 teenagers offered their seats in contrast to not one commuter the maj of whom just sat fiddling with their phones.I know nobody has to offer up their seats and kids are more than capable of standing but dd7 wasn't 100%,couldn't keep her balance and this 50 something guy just sat texting literally sandwiched next to her the entire journey.

Said teenagers were a lot further away but shouted up repeatedly to offer their seats,their mums would have been v proud. Dd did a huge fart in revenge to Mr Texter.

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