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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To still be angry about this, and to want to do something about it?

64 replies

muminthecity · 13/04/2012 18:10

This is much longer than I intended, sorry!

Last week I went out with 3 friends, one woman, 2 men; they are all black, I am white (this is relevant.) We had dinner together at friend's house, then went to a bar we often visit. We had a great time, had quite a bit to drink but none of us were particularly drunk. We had a good dance, then when the bar was closing we decided to continue our night at a club just up the road from where we were. When we arrived the club was busy but not heaving, and a we saw people coming and going as we approached. When we got to the door, my 2 male friends were slightly ahead of me and my other friend, so it was not obvious that the four of us were together. The bouncer stopped my friends from going in, as we caught up with them we heard the bouncer tell them that they couldn't go in as they were wearing trainers. Fair enough, we all said, and were about to leave when friend A looked over at the smoking area (an enclosure at the front of the club, just behind the bouncer) and noticed that there were loads of men wearing trainers, these men were all white.

At the same time, other people were entering the club behind us, so it was not as if it were full to capacity, or near closing. Friend A questioned why there were several men already in the club wearing trainers. The bouncer stuttered and stammered and said something about management having the right to refuse entry. Friend B (also black male) asked the bouncer to reiterate the reasons we weren't allowed to enter. Was it because they were wearing trainers or because the management had told him not to let us in? The bouncer just apologised and said he could not let us in. Another bouncer (female, but not sure that's relevant) came over and asked the first bouncer if there was any trouble. Bouncer 1 says no, no trouble. Bouncer 2 then tells us we're not getting in so may as well piss off. Friend A again asks for a reason and is told that it is because he is wearing trainers. He then tells bouncer 2 about all of the other people we can clearly see wearing trainers. She says no, noone is allowed in in trainers. We are all pissed off now, as we can clearly see all other people in trainers.

Friend A asks bouncer 2 to turn around and look at all of the people wearing trainers in the smoking area. Bouncer 2 refuses to turn her head and look, and again we are told to piss off. I should point out that until now none of us has so much as raised our voices, or said anything offensive. Friend A then takes 2 steps so that he is directly next to bouncer 2 and again points at the people in the smoking area and tells her to turn around. Bouncer 2 says "If you take one more step I will phone the police!" We are all infuriated at this as we have done nothing wrong, certainly nothing to require police involvement. Friend A then starts shouting and accusing the bouncers of being racist, as the only difference between him and the other trainer-wearers is the colour of their skin. However, he was not aggressive or violent in any way, he isn't like that at all. Bouncer 2 walks off, speaks into radio and within 30 seconds, 8 police men walk over to us and lead us away from the club, ignoring everything we had to say. They left us on the street further up from the club.

We ended up going to a different club and continuing our night. The others weren't at all bothered or surprised by it by the next day. Sadly they have all experienced racism of some sort over the years, but this was my first experience of witnessing it first hand. I am still furious! Do you think I can do anything about it? Would the club take a complaint seriously? Friends think I should just leave it.

OP posts:
TheMonster · 13/04/2012 18:15

Were other people wearing trainers still being allowed in or were the other trainer-wearing people already in? Could it be that they had gone in much earlier, before the boincers were working?

Winkly · 13/04/2012 18:16

You are not unreasonable to be angry but the club will not take a complaint seriously. The bouncers will likely say you and your friends were drunk and aggressive towards them, even though you weren't. You cannot argue with bouncers and win.

muminthecity · 13/04/2012 18:22

BodyOfEeyore - They were all there before us, but some had been at the previous bar with us so couldn't have been there all that long. And even if they had, why wouldn't the bouncers just say that? Confused

Winkly - Exactly what I thought, it pisses me off so much though! Angry

OP posts:
Ghoulwithadragontattoo · 13/04/2012 18:24

That is shocking and I'm not surprised you're still angry. I think it is probably worth making a complain to the club. Even if they say your friend were drunk and aggressive afterwards (not saying they were of course) that wasn't the reason their were refused entry and that related to their footwear. Obviously others were inside wearing trainers but the difference was they were white. The only difficulty is proving that lots of people wearing trainers were admitted but it's still got to be worth a complaint I'd say.

twoistwiceasfun · 13/04/2012 18:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hairylemon · 13/04/2012 18:42

yabu to immediately leap to it being racism. Bouncers can refuse entry for all sorts of shit reasons. I was refused entry to one because my tatttoo was on show, yet when I chanced it and went back later another one let me in Confused

Have also been in one where they start off letting trainers in and then stopped at 10pm but if you were already in then it was ok Confused x 2. Also if people book out a 'VIP' area dress codes are usually relaxed for that party so maybe the other trainer wearers had done that?

hairylemon · 13/04/2012 18:44

ahhh see about the people being in the same bar. Could still be the VIP thing?

HashtagJussayin · 13/04/2012 18:49

Bouncers are cunts. HTH

Not sure this was racist but my male friends have been refused entry for having hair too long, too short, wearing fancy dress, wearing trainers, sandals (themed summer night), wearing a kilt, tattoos and a variety of other reasons. Also heard people (no older than 30) being told that " it's a young crowd in tonight, best try somewhere else love" and someone a bit overweight being told there wasn't enough space inside for her...

HashtagJussayin · 13/04/2012 18:54

Just a thought, but could it have been because they were men? I know clubs round my way used to let mixed groups and female groups in before groups of men.

bringbacksideburns · 13/04/2012 19:05

It sounds dodgy to me.

I would'nt bother contacting the club.

You could look here content.met.police.uk/Article/Hate-Crime/1400004907593/1400004907593

If you really think this was racially motivated no entry you could report it.

Jux · 13/04/2012 19:06

Get your phones out and film, take photos etc. then report. Name and shame. There's probably a site somewhere where you can recount your experience of that club. You can upload videos to utube showing clearly what happens and so on. It's disgraceful and illegal. The only redress though, is to make it all as public as possible.

muminthecity · 13/04/2012 19:40

Thank you for the replies. I don't think I'm jumping to conclusions, it felt very much like racism and was difficult to see it being anything else. If it was something else then why wouldn't they just say?

I'm not sure reporting to the police would do much good, we spoke to 8 officers during and after the incident who shrugged off our complaints, treated us like criminals and didn't take any notice of us Sad Angry

OP posts:
Winkly · 13/04/2012 20:52

How were you treated like criminals? You weren't arrested or accused of any crime. Clubs do have a right to refuse entry for whatever spurious reason they invent on the spur of the moment. Name and shame if you like, but I'd just mentally boycott them and give my money to a decent business in future.

Mandy2003 · 13/04/2012 21:00

I'd agree with hashtag and winkly probably. Door staff make any excuse not to let people in, for reasons best known to themselves.

I was out once with two male friends (white guys), one was wearing white hi-top trainers, one was wearing black boots and I was wearing black Reeboks. It was only my mate with the hi-tops that was denied entry under the no trainers rule. I hate organised entertainment Angry

curiositykitten · 13/04/2012 21:01

I don't get why it would necessarily be racism?

Maybe they just thought your friends looked like dickheads, or were on a powertrip.

From what you've said there's NOTHING to suggest it's because of the colour of their skin.

I think your Friend A was on risky ground, tbh, getting closer to the bouncer and shouting at him that he was racist. I wonder how it would have escalated had they NOT contacted the police!

floweryblue · 13/04/2012 21:50

Sounds to me that there is a possibility Friend A has been in some sort of trouble in that club before.

I would still write a letter to the management putting forward your experience. They may well ignore it (especially if they have had previous probs with friend A and may have been justified in their actions), but at least you're giving them the chance to explain.

PineCones · 13/04/2012 22:04

Go to the papers. Arseholes. Angry

Ellovera · 13/04/2012 22:23

I worked in clubs for years it's more likely that it was because it was two men and they just wanted more women inside.. Really do not see the need for any racism accusation to be raised ? if they don't like the look of them dress, manner,language,body language then they don't have to let them in . No point ever arguing with door staff! They have plenty of back up too and tend to kick off first rather than wait around for it! Just spend your hard earned cash elsewhere . If it was truly racist then no one in that place would have been anything but white and bouncer would have been renowned for being so very quickly .

Also if you want to complain you need the manager of the security company not the club .

Rhubarbgarden · 13/04/2012 23:16

I've also known pairs of blokes refused entry for spurious reasons when women are being let in, and it being purely about the club wanting more women in there.

lisaro · 13/04/2012 23:22

I can't see any reason to shout racism, as your friend did. He had no reason to shout so I'm not surprised the Police were called.

AmberLeaf · 14/04/2012 12:17

I wouldnt put it down to racism at all.

There lots of reasons for not letting people in a club...some are wanky reasons, some are legit all of them happen to white people too.

The police came because your friend acted like a twat. squaring up to a bouncer is never a good move.

Cherriesarelovely · 14/04/2012 12:27

So if it wasn't racist, why didn't the bouncer explain the reason to them? "sorry, we have too many blokes in tonight" or "sorry, we don't allow blokes in groups"? I think some of you are being very naive. OPs friends were told "you can't come in because you are wearing trainers". Many other people in the club were wearing trainers so that was clearly a lie. OP felt she and her friends were treated like criminals because they were shepherded away from the club as if they had done something wrong when they hadn't. My DP is black and I'm afraid these things happen to her too, not constantly but way more than once or twice. I don't know why some of you find this so hard to believe.

Greythorne · 14/04/2012 12:31

I am loving the people saying "why would it possibly be racist?"

Cherriesarelovely · 14/04/2012 12:33

I know Greythorne as if that doesn't happen anymore!

AmberLeaf · 14/04/2012 12:33

My DP is black too as are my children, I know what racism is and we have experienced it many, many times so no im not naive at all.

Knowing what I know about clubs/promoters admissions policies and from what the OP has said I dont think it was racism.

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