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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that a very sensible 13 year old can go on a train by herself

68 replies

PaulaMummyKnowsBest · 13/04/2012 13:38

My DD is in Devon with my SIL

I have the choice of either driving to Devon and back (to Hertfordshire) on Sunday or letting her get a train into london on Sunday and me meeting her there.

My SIL will put her on the train and ensure she is seated safely (in 1st class if that makes a difference). I have asked my DD to let me know where she is throughout the train ride (calling or texts) and I will meet her in London (Waterloo) and bring her home.

My SIL and her DH both think that my DD will be fine (as do I) but my DH thinks we are giving our dd too much responsibility.

I can't go to Devon tomorrow as I am on a course all day and I work full time so can't get her at any other point.

My DD has a pony so is often left with the pony from breakfast until tea time at a local yard so is very able to look after herself whilst being out in public. She is very grown up and sensible for her age (being the eldest of 3 children)

What do you think..... is DH being over protective or am I being too laid back?

OP posts:
titchy · 13/04/2012 13:41

DH is being over protective. What does he think will actually happen on the train? Does he think she'll get off at the wrong stop? In which case perhaps point out to him that she can both read railway platform signs and hear announcements. Or does he think she will be abducted? From a busy train carriage? In broad daylight?

Out of interest why would you be the one driving there and back, and not DH?

CecilyP · 13/04/2012 13:41

Your DH is being seriously overprotective. If she is put on the train and met off the train and she is in phone contact throughout, I can't see any problem.

diabolo · 13/04/2012 13:42

She'll be fine.

Sparklingbrook · 13/04/2012 13:42

That sounds ok to me.

bruxeur · 13/04/2012 13:42

Has he been watching Source Code?

happyinherts · 13/04/2012 13:43

Absolutely fine. I guess you'll know her time of departure and how long the journey should take so therefore have a rough estimate of collection time. Together with her having a mobile, I really cant see a a problem. She's an intelligent 13 year old. I take it she's fine with the arrangement. If DH isnt happy, then he can go to Devon and collect her - seriously overprotective

HettyKett · 13/04/2012 13:44

Sounds like a totally reasonably plan to me.

hathorinareddress69 · 13/04/2012 13:44

Sounds fine to me.

alphabite · 13/04/2012 13:45

Are there any changes or is it direct?

If your daughter is happy with it and isn't nervous about it and the train is direct I would say it's ok.

If there are changes or she is a little nervous about travelling alone I wouldn't put her through it.

FoofFighter · 13/04/2012 13:47

She will be fine. just be aware though that on trains signals can dip in and out so there may be times she cannot get updates to you

worldgonecrazy · 13/04/2012 13:48

Sounds find to me too. Whomever is putting her on the train can have a word with the train manager and/or First Class Manager and they will keep an eye on her too. I can't see why there would be a problem, although you may want to ensure that she has a back up plan in case of train breakdown, i.e. knows who to call for help, etc.

JosephineCD · 13/04/2012 13:49

13 years old she should be fine. I was taking trains on my own from 10 or 11 or so, and buses a few years before that. And there weren't mobiles in those days.

Although saying that I wasn't going to London.

squoosh · 13/04/2012 13:50

She'll be absolutely a-ok.

The only thing she's in danger of is being ripped off buying snacks and drinks on the train :)

Coconutty · 13/04/2012 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumto2andnomore · 13/04/2012 13:57

I have a 13 year old and wouldn't do this, with a friend possibly but not on their own.

kandinskysgirl · 13/04/2012 14:00

I get the train loads to and from London and it is fine. Everyone is either on the phones/laptops or reading books and if there are any strange people around the carriages are normally full so you have a bit of backup. Not that I have seen any strange people to be honest.

Just make sure she gets a reserved seat...nothing worse than having to stand for hours on a train.

Sarcalogos · 13/04/2012 14:02

Your husband is being overprotective. 13 year olds in London get the tube and buses to school alone all the time... AND I know that is different (used to it, other children on route etc...), but what you are proposing is much simpler than that. She sits in quiet first class carriage and gets off and meets you.

I don't buy too much into the oohs it's london paranoia to that extent...

maybenow · 13/04/2012 14:02

i think most 13yr olds would be absolutely fine with this.. no problem at all.. if she's not overly-worried about it then i'd go for it.

many secondary school children get trains to and from school themselves.

Maryz · 13/04/2012 14:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

amicissimma · 13/04/2012 14:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mirry2 · 13/04/2012 14:06

She'll be fine. She can't possibly miss her stop. Just remind her to take her bag with her if she needs to go to the loo and have her tickets easiliy available for inspection by the ticket inspector. The journey will take a couple of hours so she will need to take something to read or entertain herself and some snacks.

What sort of weirdos have others met? I've never met any.

Bletchley · 13/04/2012 14:07

She'll be fine but PLEASE don't insist she make endless "I'm on the train" phone calls as they are infuriating. Tell her to text you NOT call.

Emmielu · 13/04/2012 14:10

Your DD will be fine! Shes not silly. If she is concerned or unsure on what platform to go on next she knows to ask the train drivers if need be. If it makes him feel any better, could she not text your DH as well as you at each stop? As long as she also knows how long the journey will take that should help with her knowing what station shes at.

valiumredhead · 13/04/2012 14:11

What sort of weirdos have others met? I've never met any

REally? I sometimes think all the world's weirdos are rounded up and dumped on whatever train I am on!

13 is fine though, I was doing journeys like that regularly at that age.

supernannyisace · 13/04/2012 14:11

She will manage it just fine. Especially as she has a mobile - she is getting put on to the train -and youwill be there to meet her off it.

One thing I would think may be useful would be to list the stations at which the train stops, so that she has an idea of when it will be her stop to get off - rather than being on tenterhooks epxecting it to be her stop. A timetable or similar..

Ask SIL to treat her to a nice mag at the station - so she has something to occupy herself :)