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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that a very sensible 13 year old can go on a train by herself

68 replies

PaulaMummyKnowsBest · 13/04/2012 13:38

My DD is in Devon with my SIL

I have the choice of either driving to Devon and back (to Hertfordshire) on Sunday or letting her get a train into london on Sunday and me meeting her there.

My SIL will put her on the train and ensure she is seated safely (in 1st class if that makes a difference). I have asked my DD to let me know where she is throughout the train ride (calling or texts) and I will meet her in London (Waterloo) and bring her home.

My SIL and her DH both think that my DD will be fine (as do I) but my DH thinks we are giving our dd too much responsibility.

I can't go to Devon tomorrow as I am on a course all day and I work full time so can't get her at any other point.

My DD has a pony so is often left with the pony from breakfast until tea time at a local yard so is very able to look after herself whilst being out in public. She is very grown up and sensible for her age (being the eldest of 3 children)

What do you think..... is DH being over protective or am I being too laid back?

OP posts:
dogindisguise · 14/04/2012 07:25

I think that should be fine. I think I first went on a train alone at that age with my younger sister and that was in the days before mobiles. We were dropped off at one end and picked up at the other end.

Metabilis3 · 19/04/2012 11:43

There is no 'first class carriage' on those trains. There is the first class area of a normal coach. The seats are a different colour and you get a free cup of tea. C'est tout. Not worth the money unless you are on a ticket where the only way you can reserve a seat is by upgrading to first class.

If she is getting on at Axminster then I would say - make sure your relatives put her on the train. Once she is on the train she will be fine so long as she doesn't get off at Clapham Junction. The gap there, on our trains, is HUGE and dangerous. Even for adults, I'd say. Be warned that the mobile signal is rubbish for huge chunks of the line.

NoFoodwithaFace · 19/04/2012 11:45

Wow, it's a hard life when you have to go in first class so you get back to look after your pony....

bronze · 19/04/2012 11:52

I have actually done that journey myself at that age. Put on the train at London (from Herts) and then finishing in Braunton so actually involved a change. And then in reverse

Metabilis3 · 19/04/2012 11:58

Actually, be very sure to be here in Waterloo when the train arrives. I can see being alone in that station being a bit daunting if you haven't done that before. Pick a good landmark to meet by (or under - I think the Pet Shop Boys clock is still there.....I always use paddington myself these days so it's been a while since I was at Waterloo)

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 19/04/2012 11:59

uneccessary nofood

Abra1d · 19/04/2012 12:02

She'll be fine.

Yes: do remove the chip from your shoulder, nofood.

ABatInBunkFive · 19/04/2012 12:07

Another voting for fine.

Nofood i hope you're not struggling too much under the weight of tht chip on your shoulder.

Original poster
PaulaMummyKnowsBest · 19/04/2012 12:25

No Food..... surely as parents we all do the best we can for our children? I work hard so that I can offer my children a good childhood. They only get one so my intention is to make it a good one.

Everyone else - thank you.

My DD got off her train and I met her by the ticket barriers at the end of her platform. She thought it was great and is happy to do that from now on. Her carriage was at least half full for the journey and everyone else left her alone.

We kept in touch via text for my own sanity really but she was fine

OP posts:
diddl · 19/04/2012 12:31

Glad it went OK.

Don´t think that husband was wrong to be concerned though-he also knows his daughter!

Of course, he is disadvantaged in that he has never been a 13yr old girlWink

musicposy · 20/04/2012 18:16

Glad it went OK and was confidence building. Don't blame you about the texting, I do that too, and phone. It gives you peace of mind and them something to think about on the journey :)

thatisall · 20/04/2012 18:20

At 14 I was making the journey from the NW to the SE including tackling the underground with 4 founder siblings to take care of!!!

As an adult and parent i now think that what I was asked to do (regularly aswell) was terrible and far too much responsibility...but....my point is that sensible teenagers should be given a bit of responsibility.

She'll be just fine. Trains have staff and non-weird people all over and if she has any problems she can just call you right?

tantrumsandballoons · 20/04/2012 18:24

Just because she's coming into London, doesn't mean it's more dangerous does it?
We live in London, my 13&14 yo DCs take the tube, bus and train alone, never been a problem

They took the train by themselves to Cornwall over the Xmas holidays to visit my sister, they were fine.

ABatInBunkFive · 20/04/2012 18:30

She's been and gone andall was fine.

joannita · 20/04/2012 19:19

She will be fine. DH probably just wants to wrap his little girl in cotton wool!

Ireallyneedanewname · 20/04/2012 20:16

My dd flew to Canada (including a change of planes) completely on her own 1 month after her 14th birthday.... She was absolutely fine - they are often a lot more capable than you think!

sooperdooper · 20/04/2012 20:23

Glad it went ok, I was about to say I used to get the train on my own at that age and I'm sure she'd be fine :)

startail · 20/04/2012 20:32

She'll be fine, my 14 yo would be quite happy. I used to wander round a big city on my own all day at 13 and get the bus back.

Never had trouble with weirdos on trains, now the late bus in Birmingham was another matter. Jasper Carrot is right about those.

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