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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this woman was rude and my children aren't 'feral'?

72 replies

NoMoreRoom · 13/04/2012 09:46

My first AIBU, but been here long enough to know I'll get honest reponses and I will consider them all. DH thinks I'm worrying too much!

Yesterday, DH took 3 eldest boys fishing and rang mid morning to suggest we meet at the family friendly pub, 2 miles from us for lunch. I said I'd walk to meet him there as the twins (10 months) should go to alseep.

The pub has a huge outdoor area, wooded playpark, bouncy castle, petting area, and all the outdoor tables are set back from this. There is no boundary fence. It has rained here lot's lately!

So I arrive pushing my double pushchair, see DH sat on a bench and go over to him.

The 3 boys see me and run over to me yelling 'mum, and nomore'

There was a lady stood between our bench and the park (almost in the park tbh) with a coffee. DSS2 (5) ran close to her but had seen her and ran round her. She however did a very melodramic and oscar worthy hands thrown in the air action and spilt coffee on her white coat.
The boys were not running in the seating area - they know not too.

Anyway this lady started being quite rude saying my children were out of control, shouldn't be running around, and that we should pay for her coat to be dry cleaned. DH very calmly told her it was the playarea so the boys had done nothing wrong. She then started commenting on how muddy they looked and looked at my double with sleeping twins, looked at my very pg belly and said very loudly:

"I can't believe your actually going to have more children when you can't control the ones you've got"

AIBU to think that the elder boys did nothing wrong or am I really raising a bunch of feral boys?

OP posts:
savoycabbage · 13/04/2012 09:52

No they did nothing wrong. She was being a very silly woman firstly and then secondly a right bitch. She was probably jealous of your lovely children. Strapping boys going fishing with their dad and snuggly twins in their buggy. And she has a white coat. No comparison!

PurpleRomanesco · 13/04/2012 09:52

YANBU to be upset, It was a horrible thing to say. Silly uptight person.

I pray the coffee stain never comes out.

fedupofnamechanging · 13/04/2012 09:52

She was being a bitch. Take no notice. Your boys did nothing wrong - the silly mare spilt her own coffee and was just looking to blame someone.

MissPenteuth · 13/04/2012 09:53

I think she was being OTT and that comment was very rude and unecessary.

But.

If I was carrying hot coffee and a 5yo looked like they might be about to run into me, I'd possibly panic a bit and duck out of the way too. I think you should remind your 5yo not to run near people carrying hot drinks, whether it's in a cafe or a play area of wherever.

Scootergrrrl · 13/04/2012 09:55

Conversely, I think people who carry unlidded hot drinks in a children's play area deserve far more than a stain on their coat - she's lucky you didn't tell her off for almost scalding your children Grin

duckdodgers · 13/04/2012 09:55

YANBU. Some people are just rude.

Hats off to you though, am I reading this right you have 5 boys and are pregnant with number 6? jealous Grin

Annpan88 · 13/04/2012 09:57

agree with savoycabbage. Some people seem to think the whole world should be a child free zone. And if we dare take our children out, they should, under no circumstances, behave like children. Especially not near a park

Original poster
NoMoreRoom · 13/04/2012 09:57

Thanks for the quick replies.

MissPenteuth Genuine question - would you really think an adult carrying a hot drink in a play area was sensible? She was 2m from the bottom of a slide.

OP posts:
wannaBe · 13/04/2012 09:58

I do think she was rude, but I agree that children should be more careful about running near where people might be with hot drinks...

Original poster
NoMoreRoom · 13/04/2012 09:58

duck U have 3 boys and 2 stepsons (1 lives with us/ 1 does 50/50). and yes I am pg with no 6 - a girl Grin

OP posts:
Emmielu · 13/04/2012 09:59

What a horrible little cow! You should have pointed out to her firmly that your children could have got burnt by her stupidity to be sitting there with a hot drink with no lid on! She needs to get her head out of her arse & smell the reality!

skybluepearl · 13/04/2012 09:59

How close did they run to her? If you are talking a foot - then your boys were rude and she must have been startled and would probabaly be a bit flustered. If they further away when passing, then don't worry they haven't done wrong.

I do think it's rude when children shove past adults but it does sound like she over reacted and was rude.

MissPenteuth · 13/04/2012 10:01

Sorry, in your OP you said she was "almost in the park". If she was actually in the play area then it was her own fault, obviously, adults shouldn't be wandering around play areas with hot drinks. But that's not quite what you said at first.

Original poster
NoMoreRoom · 13/04/2012 10:02

sky he was about a meter from her when he saw her and ran around her. I don't think it had occured to DSS2 that there would be an adult with a coffee in the playarea tbh so he wasn't watching out for it iyswim?

Maybe it's just me but if I'm in a children's play area I kind of expect to be bumped into, brushed past by accident. I would find it quite rude if a child did it on purpose.

OP posts:
Smellslikecatspee · 13/04/2012 10:02

Unlidded drink in a play area, more fool her.

I don't actually have DC myself but I assume that in a play area children will be running, shouting and ya know kids acting like kids.

IAmBooyhoo · 13/04/2012 10:03

  1. she's an idiot for standing anywhere near a play area with coffee. she could have scalded a child. what did she think she was doing?

  2. you're children were doing nothing wrong. running is what children do in play areas

  3. she was unbeleivably rude to comment on whether you should have more children or not. i am so angry on your behalf. i would have been hurt b y that comment aswell OP. but she is a cow so do not take it to heart.

junkcollector · 13/04/2012 10:03

Her comment would still have been rude if you'd been having tea at the Ritz!

Original poster
NoMoreRoom · 13/04/2012 10:05

Sorry mrsP wasn't quite sure how to describe it.

The play area is about 5/6m from the first row of tables. IMO close enough to observe children from who are able to be left to play. There is no boundary so to speak. The lady was about 2m from the bottom of a slide. So being only 5/6 m from benches she was closer to park than benches. I guess it's personal opinion wheter she was actually in the play area or not. I didn't want my opinion to sway others views!

OP posts:
CrumpettyTree · 13/04/2012 10:05

I think that adults shouldn't stand in kids' play areas with cups of boiling liquid. It's dangerous. If they have a hot drink it is their responsibilty to go and sit down and put it out of reach.

KlickKlackknobsac · 13/04/2012 10:06

I can see she was annoyed about her coat, but no reason for such personal comments in a children friendly play area pub. She was just sounding off and you presented the perfect target. She probably feels ashamed of herself now if she has any conscience as the incident does not justify the comment. I would also feel upset about this. You are allowed to be sensitive as you are pregnant.
You hubby should have given her a right gobful for insulting a pregnant woman.

lisad123 · 13/04/2012 10:06

Any woman in a white coat deserves to have it get dirty Grin

CrumpettyTree · 13/04/2012 10:06

And yes she was damn rude.

catsgotthecream · 13/04/2012 10:07

she was being a bitch, some people are like that, i have 5 kids 3ds 2dd, i agree with annpan88, some very miserable people don't like kids being kids. good luck with number 6

skybluepearl · 13/04/2012 10:07

I agree coffee in the actual play area is a no-no. It doesn't sound like your boys were too close to her either. I expect she was just cross for spilling drink on coat but wanted to blame someone other than herself.

pictish · 13/04/2012 10:08

IF my child had bashed into her and the coffee had been spilled as a result of that, of course I would offer to pay her dry cleaning bill, while apologising profusely.

However, seeing as your dc did not make contact yet she chose to throw her coffee everywhere anyway, then that's her problem.

She was rude yeah, but personally speaking, I wouldn't give the silly woman a morsel of brain space.