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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this woman was rude and my children aren't 'feral'?

72 replies

NoMoreRoom · 13/04/2012 09:46

My first AIBU, but been here long enough to know I'll get honest reponses and I will consider them all. DH thinks I'm worrying too much!

Yesterday, DH took 3 eldest boys fishing and rang mid morning to suggest we meet at the family friendly pub, 2 miles from us for lunch. I said I'd walk to meet him there as the twins (10 months) should go to alseep.

The pub has a huge outdoor area, wooded playpark, bouncy castle, petting area, and all the outdoor tables are set back from this. There is no boundary fence. It has rained here lot's lately!

So I arrive pushing my double pushchair, see DH sat on a bench and go over to him.

The 3 boys see me and run over to me yelling 'mum, and nomore'

There was a lady stood between our bench and the park (almost in the park tbh) with a coffee. DSS2 (5) ran close to her but had seen her and ran round her. She however did a very melodramic and oscar worthy hands thrown in the air action and spilt coffee on her white coat.
The boys were not running in the seating area - they know not too.

Anyway this lady started being quite rude saying my children were out of control, shouldn't be running around, and that we should pay for her coat to be dry cleaned. DH very calmly told her it was the playarea so the boys had done nothing wrong. She then started commenting on how muddy they looked and looked at my double with sleeping twins, looked at my very pg belly and said very loudly:

"I can't believe your actually going to have more children when you can't control the ones you've got"

AIBU to think that the elder boys did nothing wrong or am I really raising a bunch of feral boys?

OP posts:
Garliccheesechips · 13/04/2012 10:08

YANBU. I'm unashamed to say I would have kicked her fanny in.

landofsoapandglory · 13/04/2012 10:09

A woman with a coffee in a children's play area is an accident waiting to happen. It wouldn't matter if it had a lid on or not if she dropped it, I've seen someone drop a lidded cup and the lid just fell off. The silly cow would have got the sharp end of my tongue!

GavisconJunkie · 13/04/2012 10:11

Your boys did nothing wrong, she was standing in a stupid place with a hot drink. She sounds like a bitch & out of place in a family friendly pub, perhaps she should piss off to a nice tea room?

YANBU

YA however BU brave to be heavily pregnant having just had twins & 3 older boys!

Garliccheesechips · 13/04/2012 10:11

Actually, I think this whole trend for describing children as 'feral' is wrong.

soverylucky · 13/04/2012 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WilsonFrickett · 13/04/2012 10:18

Agree Garlic, what a hideous thing to say about any child:

A feral child (also, colloquially, wild child) is a human child who has lived isolated from human contact from a very young age, and has no (or little) experience of human care, loving or social behavior, and, crucially, of human language - wiki

On the basis that she was so insulting YANBU. What a caahhh

IAmBooyhoo · 13/04/2012 10:27

can i just say how jealous i am of the pubs you have in england with outside seating areas and play areas. i am in NI and i dont often go to pubs because none of them are family friendly. i would love to be able to go for a nice sunday meal with my dcs and have a play in the garden on a good day. pubs here are grotty places with leery drunks and the only outside spaces are the smoking areas that are far too small and drab to even contemplate bringing a child to.

Aribura · 13/04/2012 10:50

Going against the grain and saying that they should still be aware of other people even if they were in the play area (or is it okay to knock into other children etc because they are all in the play area?)

IAmBooyhoo · 13/04/2012 11:00

they didn't knock into anyone aribura.

sue52 · 13/04/2012 11:13

She was rude and in the wrong. Your child dodged her by about 3 feet. If she is so jumpy, she shouldn't be near a designated play area whilst drinking hot liquids and wearing a white coat.

LesAnimaux · 13/04/2012 11:16

I hope the coffee stains he stupid coat.

looktoshinford · 13/04/2012 12:04

Oh give over OP. YABU.

I know this is mumsnet and so bound to be bias, but the OPs kids just got under the feet of a total stranger carrying hot coffee, and the OP failed to reprimand them or apologise sufficently.

Instead her DH took the side of his kids and essentially told her to fuck off.

Whats all this 'oscar worthy' rubbish. She was clearly startled by your kids running too close to her. Or do you think she spilled coffee on her coat on purpose?

It shows total lack of respect, a bad example to set in front of children, and I'm not surprised she turned nasty.

IAmBooyhoo · 13/04/2012 12:15

nope. he didn't get under he feet. he didn't even touch her. he intentionally avoided her.

some people are actresses/actors when they feel it suits their purpose. people exagerate shock or pain or surprise. i've seen it. it happens. sounds like this idiot was one of them.

totallyskint · 13/04/2012 12:19

Of course your children are not feral, they sound lovely and loving and like perfectly wonderful kids.

The woman was v rude, clearly a bitch.

It's a bummer about the coffee and her coat, and I can understand her feeling annoyed, but her rudeness immediately loses her the sympathy vote.

looktoshinford · 13/04/2012 12:25

Thats very convenient IAmBooyhoo. Hmm

Since when did contact have to happen for someone to be startled? The woman spilt coffee down her coat, and she deemed OPs kids to have been too close. Thats all that matters.

OP should have apologised, but instead her DH got defensive. Now shes here painting the coat woman as a drama queen who may or may not have been sitting at the bottom of a slide spraying boiling coffee at precious DCs with a feking fire hose.

Pull the other one its got bells on.

OrmIrian · 13/04/2012 12:26

Feral? That's not feral. My children have turned feral over the Easter hols. DS2 has taken to sleeping on a pile of newspaper in the garage and I caught him with a dead rabbit in his mouth the other day. Tsk! Suppose we'd better get around to socialising him again before Monday...

Clearly someone needs to socialise White Coat Woman before she is allowed to mix with normal people again.

AlbertoFrog · 13/04/2012 12:26

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP. I'll bet that is why you're so upset about this - hormones and all that.

Hot drinks shouldn't be anywhere near play areas. White coat woman probably got a bit of a fright but was totally over the top, rude and arrogant.

Your boys sound like a lively bunch - very refreshing in this day and age where a lot of kids mostly sit in front of the tv or with computer games.

BlackOutTheSun · 13/04/2012 12:29

yanbu

the woman shouldn't have a hot drink near a play area. Kids being kids in a play area are going to lead to some accidental bumps even tho i know the op's dc's where no where near the woman

LeQueen · 13/04/2012 12:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 13/04/2012 12:33

YANBU very dangerous to take hot drinks into a children's play area.

Silly cow.

Salmotrutta · 13/04/2012 12:33

*Instead her DH took the side of his kids and essentially told her to fuck off.

How do you work that out then shinford?

OP stated her husband very calmy told her it was the playarea so the boys had done nothing wrong.

stifnstav · 13/04/2012 12:33

She's a big eejit for wearing white clothing. End of.

If its been raining and you plan to eat or drink outdoors on benches, chances are you'll get your clothes grubby. Benches tend to get that way. She would probably have got dirty anyway, regardless of the coffee incident.

I am boggled by the amount of women I see in our local park wearing white trousers and its not my fault if they coo over my dog, resulting in said cooing-woman's white pants getting wet/dirty. White clothing does not have dirt-repelling powers.

Hot drinks near kids? Eejit. She was just rude. Ignore it and enjoy your kids enjoying the outdoors.

Salmotrutta · 13/04/2012 12:35

Oh - and more boys should go fishing with their dads and get muddy.

PimpMyTunnel · 13/04/2012 12:38

OP you said you're son didn't start to run around het until she was a metre in front of him! A metre is very short you know. If a child was a metre away from me and running and I had a hot drink in my hand I would be startled too. I agree with you that shr was rude though. If that situation had happened to me and my 3 year old dd though, I would have said sorry to her. as it was my childs fauly and not hers. Either way though she was rude in what she said.

IAmBooyhoo · 13/04/2012 12:44

"she deemed OPs kids to have been too close. Thats all that matters."

maybe she was too close to them. it was a children's paly area you know. she was 2m from the bottom of a slide FFs. it's almost as if she was trying to be bumped into standing there!