Weddings again - aibu?

[tallblonde]

DH is from Oz. His brother is getting married in October, so we've spent almost 4k on flights for me, DH and 2DS, who are 3yrs and 18mth, to go over. The flight will be torture, but I was happy to go through the pain (!) for a big family event. However, BIL has now announced that children are not invited so we have to find a babysitter, bearing in mind that all family members will be attending the wedding and our DSs don't know anyone else in Oz.

I understand that people don't want kids at weddings BUT I think it's well out of order to expect us to travel half way around the world and spend thousands that we can ill afford when our LOs - their nephews that they are yet to meet - aren't even invited, and to expect us to be happy to leave them with a stranger - if we can find a sitter at all. I'm furious about this and find it incredibly rude that DH's brother is showing such contempt for his brother's kids, but DH doesn't want to rock the boat. AIBU?

YANBU. I have no problem with child-free weddings, but your BIL should have made this very clear before you spent thousands on flights.

Can you cancel the flights, or is it too late?

If my DH didn't want to rock the boat, I'd damn well be rocking it on his behalf. I definitely would not be leaving such small children with minders they don't know after ferrying them halfway around the world. If BIL is not willing to allow them to come, I'd be cancelling the flights.

You are a family, you come as a package, YADNBU!

Personally I'd tell them to sod off and either sell the flights on or cancel them and get back what you can did them.
Otherwise go to oz and have a great holiday and just don't go to the wedding!

It's not just us, a cousin flying in from another part of Oz (so again, family are going and away from home babysitting circle) has been told her TEN MONTH OLD DD can't go and they think SHE is being unreasonable by refusing to leave the baby with a stranger, so her and her hubby will now be doing a tag team between the wedding and hotel all day.

I don't plan on going to the actual wedding now, I have no desire to go if my DSs aren't welcome. We'll have a day at the beach instead!

Outrageous! Yanbu!

Hooray, you don't have to spoil your holiday to Oz by sitting through the boring-as-fuck wedding of someone you don't like much :) Silver linings!

Good for you :) Groomzilla is taking the piss.

I am normally in firmly, infact rabidly, in the 'Bride is right' camp when it comes to weddings. But in this case I'm definitely going to give you an extra special

YANBU!!!!

What idiots! There are times for exemptions, and family travelling from abroad is one of those.

Yes let dh go onhis own

He'll have a crap time without his wife & bil &'new wife will spend allay explaining why you and kids aren't there

Surely mil could have a word?

Day at the beach sounds like a good plan, but I would expect dh to join you after the ceremony. And you should invite the cousin.

I totally agree with your strategy. Have a lovely holiday. :)

Personally I'd book a hotel out at the great barrier reef and go snorkelling and then go out to Ares Rock (sorry can't spell the correct name).

Wedding, what wedding?

Your DH is being a bit pathetic not wanting to rock the boat. Have you PIL got any comments on it?

Normally I'd say YABU and that it's the couple's right to decide upon having no children at their wedding but it's bloody unreasonable of them to tell you that after you've booked such expensive flights and presumably booked a considerable portion of your annual leave too. I wouldn't have no desire to go if my DC weren't welcome but I would be refusing to attend under these circunstances.

sorry but what a horrible pair! I really hope you have a lovely holiday in Oz with your kids, sod the wedding, what gits!

Agree with everyone else - normally I'd say childfree weddings are fine, totally up to the B&G, but this is a bit different, and someone (seems blindingly obvious it needs to be dh) needs to explain that to them.
Am amazed however that their parents haven't pointed it out

Hmm. It's in October, so early spring weather. What state is the wedding in, in the sense of location in Australia?

I'm sure other Oz-based MN-ers will come along and help plan a lovely day for you and the children.:o

YANBU-but you are married to a man with no bollocks whatsoever-do you find that attactive?

Hahaha subtle as a brick bellstar

Love it Bellstar

YANBU Send your DH to the wedding and hang out with the cousin at the beach.

oh, like the idea of inviting the cousin to join you on the beach instead!

YANBU

I love a child free wedding generally. Much more sensible for many people. The exceptions I would always make are for those travelling from distance (and particularly abroad) and EBF babies.

YANBU!

I'm all for child free weddings and doing whatever the B&G want but normal rules do no apply the second someone has to step on a plane to attend said wedding.

We travelled to SE Asia with our 5 year old DS for BIL's wedding. If he'd pulled that card DH would have been fuming and wouldn't have thought twice about rocking the boat.

Yanbu. It would be differant if you lived in Australia, but you are travelling really far! Hope you and your cousin and kids spend a wonderful day together.

definitely nbu. wot a knob. get dh to a) grow a pair then b) phone his twat of a brother and tell him if the kids cant come he's not coming as he will have to look after them. leaving them with a stranger is NOT a bleedin option. you've already booked the flights at massive cost. wot can he say? unless he's a TOTAL knob, then i agree, just have a holiday! :o