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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be incredibly pissed with daughter losing Kindle and hiding the fact for a week

57 replies

Chicky2 · 12/04/2012 21:58

My DD who is 11 was taken to Eurodisney by her grandparents the week before Easter. They travelled by coach and it was an long journey, so she took her kindle which was a birthday present in August. She managed to leave it on the coach, she probably realised she'd done this as soon as she got back (she also left her Mickey Mouse ears on the coach) but she kept quiet about the Kindle until yesterday when I asked her where it was as I hadn't seen it for a while. Now we're trying to track it down with the travel company, with little success unfortunately.
I feel there has to be some sanctions/ punishment for this, as she is so airy fairy with her belongings it drives me to distraction, but what would be reasonable?

OP posts:

lisad123 · 12/04/2012 22:00

Doc her pocket money until she can afford to buy a new one. If she doesn't get pocket money, chores worth a certain amount till paid off.

WorraLiberty · 12/04/2012 22:02

Does she sound upset/bothered about losing it?

Original poster

Chicky2 · 12/04/2012 22:06

Yep, I was thinking of that, but she doesn't get a lot of pocket money so will take ages. Chores are an option, but I work and sometimes it's just easier to do it myself than stand over her while she does it badly, which I realise is complete cop out, but I just want to get the jobs done quickly and collapse with vino. I just don't think either of those will get the idea across to her, we tried the previous year when she dropped and smashed her DS, 10 days after her birthday. Can you see a pattern emerging here?

OP posts:

Original poster

Chicky2 · 12/04/2012 22:08

She's crying a lot but mainly to stop me having a proper chat about it. She's really rubbish about apologising properly and sounding like she means it, hence my annoyance

OP posts:

Winkly · 12/04/2012 22:10

You were a bit unreasonable to buy something as expensive as a Kindle for a child who had demonstrated she couldn't look after it, so to an extent you do have yourself to blame. Sorry.

Are you more upset about it being lost or her not telling you?

Did she really want/love it? If so then having lost it and it not getting replaced will be sanction enough IMO.

Clytaemnestra · 12/04/2012 22:12

Just don't get her another one?

Xmasbaby11 · 12/04/2012 22:14

If this is a pattern, then she's not ready to be responsible for something that expensive. Don't replace it.

Original poster

Chicky2 · 12/04/2012 22:14

I didn't buy her the Kindle, it was from her grandparents. I am more annoyed at not being told immediately, so we could have contacted the travel company and poss managed to get it back. I'm also a bit annoyed with the grandparents, they know how away with the fairies she is and should have reminded her to gather her belongings when they were changing coaches.
She does love her Kindle and reads it every morning, and her Hunger Games books are on there so she will miss it!

OP posts:

ivanapoo · 12/04/2012 22:15

I have to agree with Winky. For my 12th I think I got a my little pony. I'd think twice about buying a kindle for myself in case I lost it and I'm 3 times your DD's age...

But you didn't come here for I told you so's, sorry.

Get her to do chores that you don't need to watch her do eg washing up, washing car, sorting and putting away laundry, dusting (if she doesnt already do these as part of her standard chores).

I wouldn't take it out of her money as I think at 11 it's a bit too young to focus only on monetary value.

ivanapoo · 12/04/2012 22:16

X post - your GPs are a bit u.

DaisySteiner · 12/04/2012 22:16

Why would you buy a Kindle for a child who is airy fairy with her belongings? She didn't tell you because she thought you'd be cross. Which you are. She's really upset and presumably you won't be replacing it. What more punishment does she need??

Winkly · 12/04/2012 22:19

So your daughter
-lost her kindle
-lost the books she loves
-spent a week in fear of getting in trouble
-got in trouble

Her grandparents
-bought her something expensive she couldn't look after
-didn't help her to look after it

Think I know who you should be pissed off at and its not your daughter. YABU.

Original poster

Chicky2 · 12/04/2012 22:22

Mmmm Winkly think you're prob right, but I'm always pissed off with my parents so no change there!

OP posts:

aJumpedUpPantryBoy · 12/04/2012 22:34

Make sure you remove the Kindle from your amazon account or someone else will be able to use your accuont to download books to the kindle

AnyFucker · 12/04/2012 22:35

what winkly said

she has been punished enough, IMO

as long as you don't buy her (or let the gp's) a replacement

mrsbugsywugsy · 12/04/2012 22:36

Sorry but I'm with Winkly and feeling sorry for your daughter. I think she's upset that she has lost her kindle and it sounds like she was too scared to tell you.

Mrsjay · 12/04/2012 22:37

dont repalce it and lesson learnt Im sorry its a bit daft trusting a child with something so expensive wait till she is a little older and more able to know what these things are worth , get her a book from now on ,

Mrsjay · 12/04/2012 22:38

sorry her grandparents are the daft ones for getting her it in the first place sigh dont let them replace it ,

Original poster

Chicky2 · 12/04/2012 22:43

I've just deregistered it from my account, we won't be getting her another one, back to books everywhere

OP posts:

mrswarthog · 12/04/2012 22:43

Ask Amazon to block it & see if they have been contacted with it - I found a kindle & they reunited it with it's owner.

No advice on dd, am pants parently today....

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/04/2012 00:59

Was a present, she lost it, hard cheese. I think that is the punishment. Don't let the GPs buy another one.

Tranquilidade · 13/04/2012 01:07

I'm sorry but I don't agree with those saying she has been punished enough by not having it. She lied by omission in not telling you. I always told my DCs if they did something wrong and told me I'd be cross, if they did something wrong and I found out without them telling me I'd be furious. How is she going to learn how to value her possessions if you don't make her.

Pick the chores that are the least hassle for you to supervise and make her do them at a set time each week that will pain her while you have a cup of tea and relax (even if that means knowing you will have to do them again later) or stop her doing something she enjoys for a set time. I think it's the principle that matters here.

MrsTerryPratchett · 13/04/2012 01:57

But it was hers and a present. If I lost something that was a present rather than someone else's possession, I wouldn't expect any consequence except that. I'm normally pretty hardline as well.

startail · 13/04/2012 02:08

DD1, with the knowledge of DH omitted to mention a while set of PE kit.
I was furious, by the time they told me there was no sign of it. If I'd rung the bus company straight away it might have turned up.
It's both expensive and a pain to replace.

PineCones · 13/04/2012 02:39

Winkly- really?? Pissed with the GPs??

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