To be incredibly pissed with daughter losing Kindle and hiding the fact for a week

[Chicky2]

My DD who is 11 was taken to Eurodisney by her grandparents the week before Easter. They travelled by coach and it was an long journey, so she took her kindle which was a birthday present in August. She managed to leave it on the coach, she probably realised she'd done this as soon as she got back (she also left her Mickey Mouse ears on the coach) but she kept quiet about the Kindle until yesterday when I asked her where it was as I hadn't seen it for a while. Now we're trying to track it down with the travel company, with little success unfortunately.
I feel there has to be some sanctions/ punishment for this, as she is so airy fairy with her belongings it drives me to distraction, but what would be reasonable?

The other issue is that there are a lot of books on the Amazon server that have been bought and paid for and can't be accessed without a Kindle

Of course they can be accessed. You can put the Kindle app on your PC or on a phone.

I feel sorry for her. She knew she'd get landed in a heap of trouble. She was more afraid of being told off than never seeing it again. So she kept quiet. I think I would have too. She doesn't have the life skills to know how to cope yet, she needs adults around her to help her.

I feel your pain re frustration at losing things. I have 4 dc and the 1st 3, all boys, all have AD(H)D and all extremely forgetful and forever losing things to varying degrees. It has cost me a fortune, e.g. with essential items like coats, gloves that HAVE to be replaced. But dh is just as bad, he lost his kindle in fact 3 times, twice he got it back, 3rd time he didn't. In the end I replaced it cos he kept 'borrowing' mine. (Now ds1 keeps 'borrowing' it so I still never have it, sigh.

Anyway, the point is, while she does need to learn the value of things, and improve her responsibility and organisation, punishing her ime is not the way to go.

As others have said, an adult wouldn't get punished for this.
If you lost your kindle, would you expect dh to ban you from watching tele for a week or something? How would you feel if your dh shouted at you for losing it?

Her punishment is the loss of the Kindle.

The way forward imo is to help her improve her organisation skills, esp as you say she is 'airy fairy' about lots of things. It is a genuine problem for her. WHat have you done so far tol help her deal with this problem? (If she had trouble with maths, you might arrange extra support, same with reading) why not with this?

I wrote mine a check list of things they have to remember to take, and went through it with them several times, till it became second nature. When they come back I try to remember to ask them if they have XY or Z with them, so I can look /send them back straight away if they've forgotten something.

HTH

Could she have adhd /add? Eldest niece is diagnosed with adhd, and is away with the fairies most of the time...

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder/Pages/Symptoms.aspx

i would have to say that the most galling part was the not telling you bit...thats a little deceitful really (not suggesting ur DC is like that, but it's something to discourage)

FWIW, i also don't think the GPs are U....that's what some GP's do in my experience...they want to lavish gifts on the GC...maybe a quiet word with them about expensive gifts, but if they are aware of ur DCs attitude to pesessions, then they knew the risk they ran...they prob get as much pleasure from the giving as DC got from getting...why spoil that with recriminations!

with the best will in the world....kids lose and break stuff!....fact!

just don't replace it....also, ask yourself if you woukld have been so bothered if she had left a £1 toy on the bus...even at 11, awareness of monetary/sentimental value can be limited.

With all of the DCs going through the tween and early teen years, I let them experience the natural consequences of losing things. They paid to replace their own lost jackets and other clothing and if they couldn't afford something equally nice, then they went to the second hand place. Library books - paid their own fines. Homework not put in bag or not done because book left in school - no note to teacher, face the wrath next day, or try phoning friends to take down the questions themselves. Painful but they eventually grew out of it. I honestly think their brains are not capable of keeping all the balls in the air at the same time during those years but the more natural consequences they feel the quicker it seems they develop good habits.

I also sat them down at calm moments (and not when I was going ballistic about some lost item) to get them to come up with solutions to the problems they were creating for themselves, like little routines they would go through when the bell rang in school - what were they going to do to make sure they had what they needed for homework, what ways were there to find out the necessary books, how were they going to make sure they had the supplies they needed for school on gym days, etc. At 11, 12, 13 they are great at seeing the big picture but the details are often very blurry and they need help focusing on those little details.

I was hoping someone would have a magic trick that would sort it all out.

There is no magic tric but there are stratergies to help, as another poster said check lists and such. Even a simple word with GPs saying check she has her kindle whenever you change coach / go to toilet/ etc etc