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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think women's pain should be taken seriously

140 replies

GothAnneGeddes · 12/04/2012 12:21

I recently had a hysterosalpingogram (examination of uterus + fallopian tubes under xray)

The appointment letter said to take pain relief beforehand, so I took a strong ibuprofen.

The procedure turned out to be excruciatingly painful, to the point of being unbearable, ibuprofen didn't touch it.

AIBU to think provision for proper pain relief should be made available (entonox would be a start) as why should we suffer needless pain?

OP posts:

Dozer · 13/04/2012 15:41

Yanbu.

SardineQueen · 13/04/2012 16:11

Treatment of women for obs/gyn is a women's issue by definition, surely?!

Most of the stories on here about poor treatment are to do with pregnancy, childbirth, and procedures involving the vagina/womb.

thejoanwilder · 13/04/2012 16:19

flyingspaghetti I think it might be a UK thing too. I just had my 1st baby in the US, and started off saying no pain relief please, I'm going to breathe my way through this 36 hour induction . I was adamant that I didn't want an epidural as was terrified of the needle in back thing. By 30 hours, I asked for pain relief (non-epidural), and the nurse asked me to think about whether i did need an epidural as they don't administer those until you have received a bag of IV fluid quickly (but still takes 30 minutes). I said no, had the IV pain relief. Did nothing, moaned for another hour and a half and then called the nurse in to beg that they did the epidural prep. She had already done it- she said she thought I was looking like I was going to go down that route so had pre-empted me. Should mention I was on IV fluid anyway, so it didn't make a difference to waht I was receiving, she had just given it to me faster when she had changed my bag over. Epidural was done quickly, relief was immediate, and I everything was done and dusted a couple of hours later.

Part of it, though, is that pain varies so much from person to person. I found labour horrendous, other people do actually manage to breathe their way through it. Conversely, I had my new IUD put in this week, and I literally didn't feel anything other than the pressure of the speculum. Still, I think that if people say that they are in pain, then it should be treated. There is nothing worse...

porcamiseria · 13/04/2012 16:20

erm, thats cause we are women!

I have seen enough issues with poor treatment and men too, my poor dad, I wont even go there

but hey, make it a gender issue if you want to!

SchrodingersMew · 13/04/2012 16:24

Considering around here you can get fully sedated to have the numbing injections for a tooth pulled yet can't get painkillers if you've just had a baby,forceps tears etc, I would say that considering a lot of problems gettin pain relief is in maternity it is most definitely a womans issue.even if men are affected in other areas in maternity and aftercare it should be pretty obvious the person might need painkillers.

With that infection and the burst stitches I couldn't move, I literally spent days crying and screaming. I phoned the Dr and was told "lots of women have forceps and do just fine in paracetamol and ibuprofen" completely overlooking the fact I had a massive open split that went rigt up to the top of the inside of my vagina and an infection and heamatoma...
My ex was given super strength painkillers for headaches in the same surgery...

porcamiseria · 13/04/2012 16:27

actually, I remeber getting fuck all pain relief for my shredded bits too. maybe you have a point

SchrodingersMew · 13/04/2012 16:29

However, forgot to add, I had an amazing anesthnatist when in labour HE was lovely and done every thing he could to try and get the epidural to work on me with some amount of effort, he was amazing, it was clear from the beginning it was never going to work but he tried. The midwives however were appaling and kept telling me to be quiet and ignored several warnings on my notes about things I cannot do, some of which has caused permanant damage. She even laughed at me and left me in my own shit when I was begging her to help me.

Sorry for hijacking this thread, I guess I needed to get it all out...

SardineQueen · 13/04/2012 16:29

porcamiseria did you read the article about different painkillers being more/less effective on men/women but they only found this out recently as they had previously just tested them on men?

I don't know any young men who have had to go through anything as painful as childbirth without adequate pain relief. The only problems I have had with inadequate pain relief in my life have been to do with "women's"stuff. All the other stuff I have had appropriate pain relief.

SardineQueen · 13/04/2012 16:30

Schrodinger I am sorry you had such a shockingly awful experience.

And IME anaesthetists are always lovely - something about the sort of people who it appeals to maybe!

SchrodingersMew · 13/04/2012 16:31

Porcamiseria ~ Before I had DS I would have honestly come on this thread saying the same as you, not into feminist issues much but this is one that needs looking at.

Can you imagine a man walking into a and e after passing a kidneystone the size of a water melon and a shredded up dick being put on paracetamol?

SardineQueen · 13/04/2012 16:31

And yes do talk about it if you want to/need to, why not, it can help

porcamiseria · 13/04/2012 16:31

ironically, when I was PG I had fibroid degenration, fucking agony. I got tramadol, coedine, and morphine! so no holding back there

yes post partum, they are rather callous , and we are just to shocked to get the drugs in I suppose?

SchrodingersMew · 13/04/2012 16:32

SardineQueen ~ Thanks, didn't want to look as if I'm seeking sympathy, I just needed to get it out I don't have anyone to talk to about it and I have just been bottling it up.

SchrodingersMew · 13/04/2012 16:35

Porcamiseria - When I was pg I had various problems and was told I needed to take tramadol and offered respite in hospital with morphine, they even told me my DS would be fine when I didn't want to take the tramadol.... He ended up in scbu.

I don't know why it's okay when pg but not after.

SardineQueen · 13/04/2012 16:36

Go for it

I had a v bad experience with DD1, I talked about it on here a bit and stuff but what really helped was when I had a "birth choices" meeting for DD2 and the midwife did a "debrief" on my first birth and I was able to talk about it and she had my notes and told me why it had gone so bad and agreed that my care was lacking and that really helped.

So talk away.

There is a charity as well hold on.

SardineQueen · 13/04/2012 16:36

birth trauma association might be worth looking at

SchrodingersMew · 13/04/2012 16:37

SardineQueen - Did the de-brief really help? I didn't know you could ask for one and am now seriously thinking about it.

SchrodingersMew · 13/04/2012 16:38

Thank you. :-) That's really helpful.

flyingspaghettimonster · 13/04/2012 16:38

I was sobbing in pain on day two after my csection... they had told me to walk about a lot and didn't warn me not to overdo it, so I was really miserable with the pain. midwife told me I could only have paracetamol as bfing. lying bitch. csection 2 in america was totally different. pain meds whenever I pressed the call button, they also told me I was having an allergic reaction to the epidural which was why I was so itchy, and added benadryl to my IV to help with that. in the uk they never even mentioned an allergic reaction, I have never been so itchy and uncomfortable.

hackmum · 13/04/2012 16:39

sardinequeen - thanks for the link about men and women and pain relief. Really interesting. I think drugs tend to be tested on young, healthy men and therefore they make generalisations from those results that may not be applicable elsewhere.

Agree with Sardinequeen about joining the BTA for SchrodingersMew. You definitely need to get some support from somewhere for such a terrible experience.

ethelb · 13/04/2012 16:40

It's not just women's stuff. as peole have mentioned colonscopies are not properly medicated here.

In the states the only do them under general, here they roll their eyes if you take sedation.

SardineQueen · 13/04/2012 16:41

Schroedinger yes it did really help.

porcamiseria · 13/04/2012 16:41

It does seem odd. You would think they'd get more of the drugs in the womb than via BF?

but I remeber getting fuck all sympathy for my episiotomy and it hurt so much I could not sleep

its odd

helloclitty · 13/04/2012 16:44

schrodingers
I don't know what to say other than speak to someone you trust. I really feel for you.

SardineQueen · 13/04/2012 16:45

flyingspaghetti with DD1 I found the care by the midwives very poor and "stop making a fuss and get on with it" and the care by the medical types much more sympathetic. I was BF as well and got plenty of pain relief from the moment the wheeled me through to the operating theatre - so your experience is not universal. Yet another situation where people's experiences vary enormously depending on which hosp they are at or even which HCPs they get and that is no good.

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