To think women's pain should be taken seriously

[GothAnneGeddes]

I recently had a hysterosalpingogram (examination of uterus + fallopian tubes under xray)

The appointment letter said to take pain relief beforehand, so I took a strong ibuprofen.

The procedure turned out to be excruciatingly painful, to the point of being unbearable, ibuprofen didn't touch it.

AIBU to think provision for proper pain relief should be made available (entonox would be a start) as why should we suffer needless pain?

YANBU - one HCP was so rough with me after the birth of my 3rd child, I was crying out in pain - I had a pph, and he just pressed down on my stomach sooo hard it was unbelievable. I think it was to help the womb contract and stop the bleeding but I felt like a piece of meat - I'd just given birth ffs. Then without a word he grabbed my wrist and really roughly started putting a drip in - yes all necessary, but I couldn't believe his rough treatment of me.

Yanbu at all!!nothing worse than being in pain and it being dismissed. I had pancreatitis a few weeks ago and the pain was unreal. I was in a&e and the doctor gave me paracetamol. If i wasnt doubled over in agony i may have punched him. Finally another doctor came in and put me on a morphine drip. I understand that they want to wait to confirm what is wrong but the pancreatitis had been diagnosed and they hand me a fucking paracetamol!!! I ended up in the high dependancy and the doctor thought paracetamol would help!!! It was the same after c/s the spinal was wearing off and they handed me two paracetamol virtually no pain relief after c/s was given. Dh had a circumcision and came home with drugs that had a street value over £1000. (guess) I got cut open hip to hip and handed a smartie!!

Gyanecological pain/procedures is definitely a gendered issue since only women posses a vagina, cervix, uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries and only women give birth.

Men's sexual health is given a much higher priority and treated with far more seriousness. We even have adverts for erectile dysfunction in terrestrial TV and sympathetic words about how it can affect your life. No such compassion for periods or vaginal atrophy - the former we just get products to help us cope with the symptoms (which cost us money, unlike viagra which can be got on the NHS) and the second doesn't get a mention at all.

I would stake my mortgage on the fact that if childbirth happened to men, we'd have a far more proactive approach to pain management both during labour and for sexual health procedures afterwards.

@GothAnneGeddes" Yeah - mine was quite a long time ago, so maybe they're all a bit more clued up now.

But I do agree with what you said initially - if you were warned it was going to hurt then there should have been something on hand to help with that, not just telling you to take Ibuprofen.

Well done for being brave though - I sure wasn't.

YANBU
Finding the GA before leaning in a 6 yo's half healed broken arm would have been kind. At least they warned her it would be painful.

She was amazing, I got her to breath like you do in labour and she calmly did.

However, I won't forget the look on her face it was obviously agony, but she knew otherwise it was back to theatre and 6 more weeks in plaster.

DH says they wouldn't give him anything decent for kidney stones. He gathered it's easy to fake and students aren't to be trusted with effective drugs. He was not impressed!

I had DS with an episiotomy and forceps (with no anasthetic as these don't work on me) and fucking ages of stitches afterwards, turned out the agony of the stitches was a waste of time as they all ruptured, got infected and I also had a heamatoma, well a couple of weeks later I had to go for an internal scan as I started bleeding heavily, scan was fine but afterwards the Dr insisted she perform an internal...

She used a speculum and then decided she couldn't get a good view at that angle and fucking turned the thing without even closing it, I screamed and cried, it was horrific. My would from where the stitches had all gone was still completely open, it actually looked like there was a hole! I wasn't even given the option of paracetamol beforehand or gas and air.

Surely stuff like this is inhumane and in this day and age should be viewed as barbaric?

Can I poiint out that ibuprofen is actually an antiinflamatory not a pain killer, regardless of stregnth. It only acts as a painkiller if it is pain from inflamation.

I think what pain relief you get depends on the medical staff who see you.

I have had three emergency trips to A/E over a year - the first time I got no pain relief, the second time was a different hospital and I got oral morphine, the third was the same hospital as the first and I got IV morphine.

I think it is a uk thing, not a woman thing. I was shocked when I went to the kids a & e and saw a young girl sobbing in agony after being dischargedh with her arms in plaster. clearly not given addequate pain relief. I have been to several emergency rooms here in the states and given oxycodeine or morphine each time and supplies for home. this for gall stones, which took uk doctors 5 hours to give morphine for.

schrodingers

OMG! You poor thing!

We must start making formal complaints ladies.

When I was passing gall stones without realising it (was told that the pain worse than childbirth was indigestion by OOH GP so felt like a real wimp) I was writhing in pain in the waiting room of the OOH and pacing up and down as unable to keep still.

The nurse who had taken my history (so knew I was epileptic & bfing) came in the waiting room to give me some painkillers - he proffered two pills in a paper cup and I just grabbed them and swallowed them, then thought to check they were okay for bfing which apparently tramadol is.

About 5 mins later the GP gave me omeprazole and told me if the pain went away it was definitely heart burn (I had just had two strong painkillers btw!). It did funnily enough, so was sent home with omeprazole and told to take OTC antacids as needed.

I was high as a kite by that point and managed to stagger onto a bus but couldn't remember where I lived . I did eventually get home and after about 3 hours of giggling incessantly I sobered up enough to check the tramadol was safe for bfing, which it was, it wasn't safe for an epileptic though as it can trigger seizures . Good painkillers to an accompanied person who has epilepsy and will be going home on the bus....

I ended up in A&E with pancreatitis after a stone got stuck and spent a week in hospital recovering.

I am always amazed by HCP when asking you to score pain on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the worst you have ever felt getting shocked when you don't put childbirth as a 10.

For me childbirth is a 4, bad period pain is a 6, burst ovarian cyst a 7, post-LLETZ was an 8 and pancreatitis is a 10. I can be in a lot of pain but it still not touch panc. pain - if I could have been focussed enough to do anything other than writhe I would have thrown myself out of the car on the way to A&E it was so bad. At least that pain was taken seriously and I had a skinful of drugs (still hurt worse post drugs than having a baby though!)

I think you definitely have a point.

I do think there seems to be a sense that women should "just get on with it" and not make a fuss. Lots of posts on here with the sort of feeling I have about it.

Also there is squeamishness about administering appropriate pain relief to children, or there used to be in the past.

There have been studies showing that (under-medicated children) and interestingly also there was something I read once that said painkillers on average have different impact on male brain and women's brain - -that same dosage resulted in greater pain relief effect for men. And generally drugs had been tested on men, no-one had thought to check that they worked the same/just as well on women.

Will see if I can find a link.

helloclitty - I seriously think I have PTSD now, I have nightmares all the time and can't stop thinking about that day or the birth.
I'm too scared to tell the Dr because when I was pg I had problems with hypermobility,SPD and pregnancy itch so bad I tore my skin off, I went in and told them and I was in a state and they phoned social services saying "well sometimes people slip through the net and tragedies happen" saying I was a risk to my child.
I'm too scared to tell anyone anything now.

I don't believe it is a gender issue at all.

On the other side of the fence, how many women make a comment such as "You should try childbirth" when a man complains of pain?

Solidgoldbrass: " I think it has been pretty conclusively shown that people all feel and experience pain differently."

It's funny, I've read exactly the opposite. Pain is so subjective that it's hard to assess, of course, but in the tests I've read about, they stuck pins in people's arms and told them to say when it became unbearable. People tend to reach the unbearable point at about the same time.

I think this is why it's so annoying when some women say "I didn't have any drugs in childbirth because I have such a high pain threshold" and it turns out they were in labour for three hours. If you've been in labour for 20+ hours you tend to take a different view of the matter.

Actually studies have proved that doctors take women who complain of pain far less seriously than a man with the same complaint. Women are twice as likely to be seen as hysterical and told to seek counselling and men are twice as likely to be referred to a specialist for the area in which he has the pain.

There is a hideous bias towards men in the healthcare system.

hackmum you might find this article interesting

pain, pain relief and sex

I couldn't agree more. YANBU.

I was sent home from hospital 2 days after an EMCS and told to take paracetemol and ibuprofen. I was incredibly naive, and so I listened, and that's all I took. It wasn't enough for me to keep on top of the pain, whilst trying to look after a newborn and BF. I am pg again, and I asked the midwife at a 32 week appointment whether that was standard practice. She said that the onus is on the woman to ask for better/more pain relief before leaving hospital, and if you don't ask, you don't get. How is that right? I mistakenly had it in my mind that maybe I hadn't been given any other pain relief because I was BFing and they weren't compatible.

I have also refused a sweep this time round as I found it worse than labour last time. Seriously. Vaginal examinations are hell for me. And as they are done in the community, there is no G&A available. I said that I was happy to give my consent to a VE/sweep if I could have G&A, but not otherwise. My (male) consultant was fine with that.

It's fucking horrible, there is nothing that makes you feel more vulnerable than being in pain.

I had a very fast labour, 3-8 cm whilst being examined. Baby was op and, it turns out, massive and stuck.

I had nothing but g&a which was doing absolutely nothing.

Contractions were pretty much constant and all in my back, I should also add I was lying on my back due to continuous monitoring.

I was writhing and literally screaming in agony and fear. The mw told me to be quite and calm down.

When the consultant was paged due to ds's heartbeat he took one look at me and said "she needs an epidural".

The midwife actually did a at him.

His answer, "we can't do anything whilst she's like this, page the anesthetist now.

I still love him a little bit. I hope she has a permanent itch on the sole of her foot.

YANBU

when in labour with DS, after 2 long days, a male consultant looked at me and said 'she is just making a fuss, she doesn't need pain relief, get her walking' then saw me nearly break the TENS machine when a milder contraction hit - MW and DH were going 'that's not a bad contraction' when they saw the consultant's face. I got an epidural after that...

and after the birth, with episiotomy, 2nd degree tear, and inflammation from latex catheter being used (even though I specifically said not to use latex as I'm mildly allergic to it (contact sensitivity)), I was told I could only have paracetamol, as to get more powerful pain relief I'd need at least a 3rd degree tear. Oh, and after-pains for 5 months, every time DS fed, were 'totally normal' according to GP so I was told not to use pain relief for them. Funnily enough, bfing became 10x easier when the after pains stopped!!

I will be shouting for better pain relief this time round, that's for sure!

I also find coil fittings extremely painful (i often call out in pain and once rolled off the bed onto my hands and knees and vomitted). I find smear tests painful too. Chub i also have been told i have a long, narrow vagina and a uterus at an angle.

I agree devil the beds i lay on at the dr's are always in an awkward space, pushed into a corner. So one leg is upwards against a wall and one is at a right angle. The dr/nurse then is squashed against the wall with no elbow room on one side. They seem to spend ages fiddling about down there just getting it in the right position/angle. By then i have tensed up and am in pain.

The one much less painful was going to a 'proper' gynaecologist with a chair/bed in the middle of the room. Just being able to have both legs apart made a massive difference.

I also hate the laughing 'oh wait till you have children response'. As if just because something else hurts more then you should put up with any other pain when it is not necessary. I've also had knee surgery but i don't think i should put up with backache!

"She said that the onus is on the woman to ask for better/more pain relief before leaving hospital, and if you don't ask, you don't get. How is that right? "

It was the same for my dad after he had a hip operation - he was having paracetemol and was still in a lot of pain, eventually it turned out that he could have tramadol but it hadn't been given because he hadn't asked for it. But he didn't know it existed, and anyway had trusted the medical professionals to give him the most appropriate medication for his situation, it wouldn't have occurred to him to question them.

It seems an odd way of doing things to me, at least people should be told that there are stronger painkillers available, and that they should ask if their pain is not well-controlled.

mydogshitsshoes a similar experience for me but had not had any pain relief at all even G&A and doc came in to look at heart beat and said I needed emcs.

He also looked at me sympathetically as I was obviously in a terrible state and couldn't stop vomiting. Widwife was no use for anything, no pain relief, no advice, no assistance, no sympathy, no nothing.

I also hope that my midwife has one of Baldrick's "minor" curses on her as well

some hcps are fucking sadists (although some are great obv)

i remember labouring with ds, being told i couldn't possibly be in labour as their crappily applied trace monitor wasn't showing any contractions, and was i sure? (i had already had another baby, yes i was bloody sure ) in any case, i couldn't possibly have any pain relief as the doctors needed to see how much pain i was in

i had to beg and beg and beg for a couple of paracetamol. it was a fast-ish labour, under 10 hours and only the last 4 were hardcore (only. ha ha.)

luckily when my waters broke and they saw ds's head coming out they acknowleged i might be in labour after all, and i could have some g+a

i completely appreciate how a woman can get traumatised. anything gynae/obstetric is suck it up, lady

in comparison, both times i have had kidney stones, my requests for pain relief were met promptly and virtually instantaneously, with actual opioids, as opposed to a poxy begrudged paracetamol

poor you

but dont make it into a womans issue, please!

Well I have to take before and during each period just to cope:

? Mefenamic Acid
? Paracetamol
? Ibuprofen
? Cocodamol

All at the highest dose. Otherwise I'm in bed having the same excruciating contractions I had during labour. For about two to three days