To think women's pain should be taken seriously

[GothAnneGeddes]

I recently had a hysterosalpingogram (examination of uterus + fallopian tubes under xray)

The appointment letter said to take pain relief beforehand, so I took a strong ibuprofen.

The procedure turned out to be excruciatingly painful, to the point of being unbearable, ibuprofen didn't touch it.

AIBU to think provision for proper pain relief should be made available (entonox would be a start) as why should we suffer needless pain?

My husband had a colonoscopy 2 years ago and definitely received anaesthetic, he remembers talking gibberish to the doctor! Can't believe they would make anyone go without!

I agree. Having a coil fitted was horrendous and I would never have had it fitted if I'd had any idea.

I also find smear tests painful. The last time the nurse said to me: "that shouldn't be hurting you" and I when i replied "well, it definitely is" so she then gave me a funny look and asked "Do you have problems having sex with your husband?". When I answered "Not at all but it's completely different to having a cold piece of plastic shoved into you by a complete stranger" she gave me a dirty look and was muttering under her breath.

Everyone has different pain thresholds and when you are nervous it makes the pain worse. When I was early labour with my DS I had an internal examination so painful that I threw the gas and air across the room and was begging her to stop. I heard the nurse apologising on my behalf to the (very annoyed) Dr and saying "she is very tired". Why should women be expected to apologise for experiencing pain?

And as for breastfeeding, don't get me started on "if you're doing it properly then it won't hurt". REALLY?

Okay, rant over. YANBU.

I really think these things depend a lot on the person doing them - not your specific thing OP - but things like smears, colonscopy etc. I've had smears, speculum exams and a colonoscopy and none of them were painful at all. But I did have a GP do a speculum exam and it really hurt whereas gynae docs I literally didn't even feel it going in. I suppose they just get so much practice.

But I do agree with the whole pain thing. It varies enormously from hospital to hospital too. I was very angry after an op in one hospital where I woke up in agony because stupid fucking anaesthetist didn't give me any pain relief before waking up. Poor nurses in recovery then panicked at my obvious pain and distress and gave me enough morphine to fell an elephant, which made me a) vomit for hours and b) lowered my blood oxygen so had to stay in ON instead of going home.

Not just women. DH was given no pain relief after he has the snip - told to take over the counter painkillers. Which he was fine with until the local wore off and then he was in agony. Ditto colonoscopy - no pain releif. It think it depends on the patient's pain threshold and the person doing the procedure. But it should be open to the patient to ask for and be given pain relief if they need it.

yanbu.

I insisted on having my LLETZ treatments under GA. There was no way I was going to be awake to feel what they were doing or smell my cervix being burnt thankyouverymuch.

dreamingbohemiam I wonder if the difference in USA and UK smear tests is possibly because over there they see a gynea for a smear and probably sit in a proper reclining chair that gets the pelvis in the correct position. Whereas we have to put up with a hamfisted GP doing it on a couch.

I was told by a male gynocologist when being investigated for endometriosis that what I was suffering from was "just painful periods".Like he would no how painful it can be!

SeaSnake

I have the same issue with smears, and I used to bleed afterwards as well. It was only after I had a senior nurse (smear was being taken by a trainee nurse) I found that my cervix is rear facing.

The senior nurse was was pleased as she could 'teach' the trainee nurse how to do it with out hurting.

You can have a local anaesthetic when having the Mirena/coil fitted, often this is not offered though, and women don't ask because no one has told them it's an option.

Aye, cystoscopy here, was told it was have a local anaesthetic, but even if it did they literally just shoved it up my urethra and into my bladder, which was inflamed and sore too. Had taken some diazepam (which I had to go and get myself from the doctor) as I was very anxious about the procedure so it wasn't as bad as I suspect it could have been, but it was horrible all the same. I have strong pain relief anyway, but I'd ask for something more next time, sedation so that I am not so conscious probably.

I think the whole area of pain relief and how much patients get to communicate how they feel to doctors is quite problematic. Many doctors are brilliant, but inevitably, pain is something it's very hard to understand in others, and obviously it's not easy to research it (without being a sadist).

That said, I do think there is a gendered issue here. A lot of medics seem to think that because women bleed every month, they must be 'used' to the pain. And there's a bizarre squeamishness about prescribing things to help - it's all very 'sin of Eve' IMO.

I firmly believe that pain relief should be a given whether you are male or female.

I vividly remember a doctor about to begin stitching me up after DD2 was born, "shall I get the trolley" the nurse asked ( I presume it contained pain relief) "I haven't time" replied the doc "give her the baby to hold, it'll take her mind off the pain"

It, or rather she, didn't

I think it's dependant on loads of things though. I had a colonoscopy and it didn't hurt a bit, woman in the afterwards waiting room was in tears cause it hurt.

On the other hand, after I had a total hip replacement my morphine drip was broken and not releasing any morphine all night. We found out when I asked the nurse for some co-codomol as I was feeling a bit sore. Maybe I'm just hard as nails

Colposcopy. Not colonoscopy.

There's certainly a problem with male HCPs pronouncing on how much pain women should feel or not feel WRT wombs and vaginas and birth and stuff. I think it has been pretty conclusively shown that people all feel and experience pain differently, though, so it really shouldn't be that much of a big fucking deal to give a distressed patient as much pain relief as s/he wants.

I don't find a smear hurts, and I was given so much pain relief after my c-section that I literally never felt as much as a twinge. I don't think I have a pain threshold - I'm a total wimp at the dentist.

Some healthcare staff are clearly more careful than others. That said, I certainly wouldn't rule out a gendered aspect, whereby pain related to the reproduction system is accepted as more routine and natural for women.

Yadnbu

I had one of those but they didn't tell me to take any pain relief before it and said "it might be slightly uncomfortable" It was bloody excruciating.

I asked them to stop before they completed it...I also made a complaint.

I then went private took some better pain relief and it was not painful at all.

Did you make a formal complaint? I think one of the ways for gyno stuff to improve is make sure we complain if we feel we were put through excruciating pain without so much as a whisper of codine.

YANBU. Though I think its because everyone is so different. I have had a hysterosalpingogram, among other procedures for infertility, and didn't find it painful at all, it was uncomfortable but not painful for me.

I've had the coil fitted too and unlike some friends who really struggled with that, it didn't cause me any real discomfort at all.

I think maybe because everyone is so different and some the very real pain that some feel is under estimated and women are left to suffer.

Not even slightly unreasonable. Pain should be taken seriously, in men and women both, and laughing is never the correct response, nor is 'oh, it doesn't hurt that much'. How do you know? Are you psychic? Are you currently doing some kind of Vulcan mind meld so you can experience what I'm feeling? No, didn't think so.

I had to go into hospital for surgery on my nose as a day case recently and as part of my pre-op appointment with a senior nurse I brought up that I was worried about pain, because I'd heard lots of people who have this get sent home with paracetamol/OTC strength co codamol - I suffer chronic pain for an unrelated issue and as such 'normal' painkillers do sod all for me and I'm on loads of them anyway. The nurse was very good and said that I should bring it up with the consultant, so I did - he laughed at me and said 'so what do you want, morphine? Like we give to the cancer patients?' I was so angry. I know I'm fortunate not to have something serious and extremely painful like cancer but that does not mean this will not hurt at all and it does not mean he gets to mock me.

Yanbu on my 2nd baby I took my own painkiller in
2 paracetamol doesn't do the trick, 2 red capsel did for me ( I did tell the mw I was taking them)

FGS, people with chronic pain issues can build up a tolerance to pain relief, so yes I would expect something like morphine for acute pain in the short term so that I get the benefit of it. It takes diclofenac and co-codamol/tramadol to maintain the normal level of pain I have to endure, an operation on top of that and I'd have more to cope with and need a stronger type of painkiller for a little bit.

I hope that you said something? Or complained?

Following my second birth, I was requesting pethidine for afterpains, whenever I fed as it was agonizing (though on a plus point everything was back to normal size and no bleeding by tenth day). Since I was in there on bed rest for chronic pain condition, I was quite demanding of being kept out of unnecessary pain. I do find you have to shout about it and endure rolling eyes, but I find that I'd rather that than the pain. I do apologise for being a nuisance patient, but they have a duty to care for you, whether you are a straightforward case or not.

YANBU. I've had an HSG too (total nightmare, done by a sadistic woman who clearly didn't want to be there - I was the last patient of the day on New Year's Eve) who told me to "shut up and stop whining" when I yelped.

Yes, I'm also normally on cocodamol and diclofenac. I went back to the senior nurse who'd done the first part of the pre op appointment and explained to her that I was now even more worried and thought that this was highly inappropriate. She looked annoyed and unsurprised, so I suspect this consultant has form for it, and told me she'd flag it up to the anaesthatist instead as she was already flagging my file for him (as the condition that causes me the pain also has a potential of causing anaesthetic issues). In the end they ended up discharging me with cocodamol but in a far higher dose than I'm normally on, and the anaesthatist was great. My GP was then also good for prescribing more pain relief a week later when the whole mess got infected.

dreamingbohemian I'm wondering if it's something to do with the more widespread use of gynaecologists to do smears in the US? When I have a smear at the GP it's done lying on my back on a couch. That hurts considerably more than when they're fiddling about down there at the colposcopy unit where you're sat in one of those chairs with the panel underneath your backside that drops away. It's much less uncomfortable without the upward pressure if that makes sense? If they use those lovely chairs for routine smears it would be a much more pleasant experience.

Meglet and Devil -- interesting, thanks! I think you're probably right, the chairs also bring the cervix down farther so easier to get to.

I also took my own pain relief into the postnatal ward and thank god I did.