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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

how on earth anyone gets anything done with a small child?

71 replies

fullofregrets · 11/04/2012 17:02

As in any housework. My house looks like a candidate for how clean is your house but my two year old is following me around incessantly bleating 'mummy, I want you to play with me.'
If I have to pretend to be postman pat / a gruffalo / an ill patient / read the little red train once more I may require a lobotomy. I have sat DS in the bath and am now lying on bed mumsnetting to recover. I should really be tidying.

I think it is worse because although DS does not start nursery until sept we usually have an activity every day but they don't run in the holidays. Trying to entertain DS and find places to go that aren't too expensive or super busy is a challenge.

But honestly, if I hear 'let's deliver the letters pat!' once more I may have some sort of breakdown. When do they learn to play on their own?! Is it soon?!

OP posts:
Marrow · 11/04/2012 17:04

I sympathise but worry about your two year old being in the bath on his own.

Original poster
fullofregrets · 11/04/2012 17:07

No, its ok, he is chattering and about ten metres away. Doors are open and I can see him.

OP posts:
LingDiLong · 11/04/2012 17:09

Yikes, hope it's an ensuite!!

But yes, getting anything done in the holidays with small children is a nightmare. Either we're out all day so I phsyically can't do anything or we're in and the house gets turned upside down.

Someone will be along to tell you you're wrong soon enough though and that they manage to 'deep clean' (whatever the fuck that is) every room of their house every day while also keeping their child amused and entertained.

DawnOfTheDee · 11/04/2012 17:11

Could you get your DS to 'play' at tidying/helping mummy with the housework? Other than that have no idea (but will be watching this thread with interest!)

marriedinwhite · 11/04/2012 17:13

You don't you have to do it when they are asleep and keep some rooms out of bounds in the day time to contain the mess. I used to park mine in front of Tellytubbys so I could have a quick wash and get dressed.

Alternatively you just spend a lot of time at the park to keep the house tidy.

TotemPole · 11/04/2012 17:13

You shouldn't leave a 2 year old in the bath alone.

TeWihara · 11/04/2012 17:13

About 3 for playing alone IME.

Ask him to help you clean:
Washing up, pull up a chair or a step so he can reach the bench beside the sink and wash whatever is non-breakable in a bowl.
wiping surfaces, give him a baby wipe or a bit of sponge and a small bowl of water.
Bathroom, same, baby wipes or sponge.
Vacuum, let him turn it on/off/push it around, ask him to pick things up off the floor for you.
Tidying up, races, who can put the most cars in the box. (Also, be strict about tidying up one game before starting the next, it stops things getting too messy and buys you a bit of time between each batch of trying to be creative)

Telly! If you keep turning it off and on it keeps them entertained for longer.

I have found the year from 2-3 really tough, I promise it does get better and they do get more independent.

Babylon1 · 11/04/2012 17:14

Clean enough to be healthy, dirty enough to be happy.

I must have said that about 4 times today - it's my motto, I live by it!!

You will NEVER again get the time back to play with your DCs, there will ALWAYS be time for housework and cleaning. You should see the devastation surrounding me as I MN away, but my DDs are happy with their toyboxes upended and the popcorn maker on overtime!!!

I'll clean up when they've gone to bed and we've finished rowing our imaginary boats around the house!!! :)

marriedinwhite · 11/04/2012 17:14

Ah, now I did used to give the bathroom a good going over when mine were toddlers and in the bath.

WipsGlitter · 11/04/2012 17:14

My two can play a bit on their own but we did have to endure a looonnggg game of "delivery boy" last week. I have low standards for cleanliness and tidiness. I think that helps!!

TeWihara · 11/04/2012 17:15

I totally agree with going out a lot too, even if it's just to the park over and over. I bought a sudoku book so I didn't get bored.

marriedinwhite · 11/04/2012 17:16

And you can always just give in and play with them. My mother thought housework was more important than me and I still remember her not playing with me or fobbing me off. That's why I played with my children and tidied up when they were asleep.

Original poster
fullofregrets · 11/04/2012 17:17

ling no it isn't but I am lying upside down on bed which allows me to look through to bathroom. He is singing now. Tunelessly.

dawn he will help for a bit but not for long and usually creates more mess than he tidies.

He is lovely, it isn't that he's naughty, he's just two and wants my attention all the time. The garden or the bath are the only times he will play alone. We have been in the garden but then it chucked it down so we had to come in.

I need to: change our bed clothes, iron and iron and iron, vacuum, mop kitchen floor, clean downstairs bathroom. Used to do some of it in evenings but thanks to bloody light evenings DS now awake until 8.30 ish which means by time I have done tea for DH I am about ready to go to bed. Sad but true.

However it is pretending to be postman pat that is pushing me over the edge.

OP posts:
Meglet · 11/04/2012 17:19

I don't!

Even when cbeebies is on they won't behave for more than 5 mins at a time. Mine are 5 + 3 now and only once I've cleaned the bathroom while they're awake in the house. Even a quick clean was interuppted by yelling Hmm.

Agree with ling, if you go out nothing gets done. Mine will make a huge mess before / after breakfast, they don't need a whole day at home to do it!

porcamiseria · 11/04/2012 17:20

park, just get out of the house

parks are free
parks tire then
you can add on a shopping/coffee
parks mean your house does not get dirty
parks mean when you get back they are tired and you can park in front of TV and get shit done

I love parks

Original poster
fullofregrets · 11/04/2012 17:21

Yes we were out all day yesterday which was nice but I did get a sinking feeling when I had to come home and look at my house! I think it is teetering between being untidy and not brilliantly clean and a health hazard!

OP posts:
TeWihara · 11/04/2012 17:23

Will your DH have time off work soon/the weekend? At least you can juggle being postman between you then...

toddlerama · 11/04/2012 17:26

Clean bathroom whilst they're in the bath. I sort laundry at this time too because our washer and dryer are in there.

Get them to gather up and box all toys in exchange for a game of postman pat.

Play 'boats' - they have to keep feet up on the sofa whilst you clean floors.

Loading and unloading dishwasher I do whilst they eat their food in slow motion.

dreamingbohemian · 11/04/2012 17:27

Clean the bathroom while he's in the bath

Why do you have so much ironing? Let DH iron his own work clothes.

20-30 minutes a day, plonk him in front of the TV and do a quick cleanup. Do one room a day, that way nothing gets too out of hand.

Big storage containers so that at the end of the day you can tidy up in a minute.

Does he nap?

Does your DH do anything?

Original poster
fullofregrets · 11/04/2012 17:31

I do clean bathroom when he is in bath, I think it is ironing that mounts up because a) I hate it and b) I don't like the iron being out when DS is racing around the kitchen.
Alas DS is not very interested in tv. I have spent a lot of time reading stories (not the little red train if I can help it) and don't mind that. DS prefers iPad to tv but can't be left to it.

We like the park but it has rained today and monday so a bit stir crazy. We also like garden centres, particularly if they feature playgrounds and pets.

But sodding postman pat would test the patience of a saint!

OP posts:
Original poster
fullofregrets · 11/04/2012 17:33

No nap for about a year.
DH does nothing because I am a sahm and he works long hours.

OP posts:
spatchcock · 11/04/2012 17:36

Reading with interest cos mine is only 9 months old and still napping/immobile.

I haven't ironed anything since a job interview I went to in 2006. I don't think DP has ever ironed, and we manage to look respectable(ish).

dreamingbohemian · 11/04/2012 17:36

He does nothing?

Presumably he can at least iron his own clothes. If not, send them out for pressing.

If you have an active toddler with no naps then you are working long hours too, you know, just not getting paid for it.

It's only a few months til he starts nursery, could you swing a cleaner for a bit?

Astr0naut · 11/04/2012 17:37

I do what I can and what needs to be done, but I'm not a big fan of housework. Besides, I'm on mat leave, not cleaning leave, so dh has to do stuff too.

THings I do do are done v quickly, with ds having a releated task today. Although pouring cat biscuits into the cat water so that they were fish wasn't on his list.

EIther ds or dd always needs me for something or other and it's driving me mad.

Luckily ds is in bed at 7, whether he likes it or not, so I get some peace then.

TeWihara · 11/04/2012 17:40

Being a SAHM doesn't mean you do everything.

All of my above were small suggestions, if your partner isn't doing anything you're never going to get on top of the housework.

You should have the same amount of free time - do you?