how on earth anyone gets anything done with a small child?

[fullofregrets]

As in any housework. My house looks like a candidate for how clean is your house but my two year old is following me around incessantly bleating 'mummy, I want you to play with me.'
If I have to pretend to be postman pat / a gruffalo / an ill patient / read the little red train once more I may require a lobotomy. I have sat DS in the bath and am now lying on bed mumsnetting to recover. I should really be tidying.

I think it is worse because although DS does not start nursery until sept we usually have an activity every day but they don't run in the holidays. Trying to entertain DS and find places to go that aren't too expensive or super busy is a challenge.

But honestly, if I hear 'let's deliver the letters pat!' once more I may have some sort of breakdown. When do they learn to play on their own?! Is it soon?!

If he's unwilling to help, the first thing you should let go is his ironing.

oh god my DS is 7 months and i think that now! I thought it would get easier once he could entertain himself.. guess not!

i have to do it when son is napping when hubby is at work and all the time when he isn as hubby will look after son most of the time.

ds is 7 mths

Re getting stuff done in the house, mine are 5.5 and 3.5 and Id say that only in the last year have I been able to get the house to a relatively better standard than it has been the last few years. They are also old enough to understand me saying things like "let me hang up the washing, hoover downstairs and then we can play a game each of whatever you choose".

My problem was not having enough storage so stuff was just lying around everywhere, get a few nice boxes and then you can quickly lob stuff in during the day and sort them out if need be every few days. I now have bacterial wipes and micorfibre cleaning cloths hidden in every room so that it takes two seconds to grab a wipe and quickly do sink/toilet or a cloth in the kids bedrooms/living room etc. to give them a quick dust.

I actually leave the hoover out in the kitchen (much to dh's annoyance) because it feels so much easier to grab and give the downstairs a quick going over rather than when its all tucked away in the cupboard (it's probably no easier at all it just FEELS easier!)

Invite friends round too if possible, you need them for your sanity!

NoFoodwithaFace

No it much easier to it when they can't move. Unfortunly all of my 3 were walking by 9mths.

I'm so looking forward to next week when ds starts nursery, so I have 3hrs a day to it. This will be the first time in 8yrs I'll be able to go a loo with out a the usual 'MUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I need ...............' be able to things properly rather then rushing.

is it possible for you to put DS in nursery/childcare for one morning/day a week so you can tackle the housework childfree? Then if your DH still insists on taking DS to MIL every Sunday that can be your day of rest to do whatever you want to.

Alternatively go on strike and see if your DH notices

Ds loved to help me. I would find an age appropriate job for him to "help" with. So if I was hanging out the washing he might be handing me pegs; cleaning something, he could have a baby wipe and do it too; washing up, drying up and putting away non-breakables, hoovering, he switched it on and off etc.

Sometimes it made the job take twice as long but I at least got it done.
He's now 4.9yo and can be very helpful-in fact was doing the washing up from a chair on holiday because his big sisters were making a lot of fuss about doing it.

I second doublechocchip's points about storage to throw things into and leaving out vacuum cleaner and antibac wipes.

Two, two and under and I just prioritise really. As long as the kitchen and bathrooms are clean, the floors are washed and everyone has clean cl

...othes to wear, whether they are in the wardrobes or not, I don't feel too miserable about the rest.

Except for typing on my stupid phone...

I got a cleaner for that bit - twice. It does get better when they're about five (sorry). Nursery helps a lot. I used to cry with envy at people who could share their darlings with relatives and always had time for a bit of light tidying.

It just wasn't worth the aggro in the end so I had a cleaner for 2h a week, and it really took the pressure off.

As for the playing, I have nothing helpful to add, just that you'll be able to look back on yourself and see the halo

marriedinwhite, I assume you had your DCs in the 1950s based on your attitude to how housework should be shared in a marriage!

We have 5mo twins, my DH works long hours and never sees them during the week. We have a mothers help a few hours a week for all our cleaning, ironing and some cooking. We can afford it due to his long hours. Daytime naps are few and far between but I refuse to do housework when they are asleep, I either go out for coffee/lunch or I rest. Weekends all child care, housework and playing with DTs is split. I do all cooking though as I enjoy it.

Seems to me that OP needs to put her foot down with DH!

OP you have my sympathy...

with the toddler wanting you to be pat your attention

with the fishingskiingshooting golfing husband

with the 'it's my weekend off, I will lay in for just a bit longer' husband

I have a confession - we have a television in the bathroom - to be fair it was DH's idea - it's his relax time in there, but as it happens you sure can string out bath-time when Land Before Time is running back to back on sky - I have got some serious laundry put away in that time.

May I suggest a dry bath and bath crayons? - they do wash off although not complete off grout by the way, - just saying.

A cardboard box filled with 'recycling' , loo roll tubes, small plastic bottles, yoghurt cartons, egg boxes, - he can play 'shop' or parcel sorting?. I know they will be everywhere when he's finished but then you can make a game of collecting it all up in the box again.

As others have said get him involved in the 'cleaning' - a spray bottle filled with tap water and a cloth.

Hi OP, I remember your thread from a few days ago and I do think you need to address the sunday issue, but in respect to your current post, I think firstly, that the light nights are only going to get worse. Dunelm Mill do Blackout blinds for about 15 quid and even my hopelessly DIY inept household between us were able to cut it to length and install it. That should give you back an hour in the evenings. Secondly, have been discussing with DP this week DS's inability to play alone (he's 2.7) after MILs comment that he seems very high maintainence so just wanted to say you have given me some reassurance that we have not made some huge mistake somewhere and all other 2 year olds are doing creative imaginative play for hours on end. I think its just how they are at 2 and as someone else said, it'll only be a few years before they a) are at school all day and b) want to play with friends / alone / on the PC etc so I am trying to love it (but find it v hard sometimes) - I agree ironing is the hardest because it is just too dangerous to have it out when they are around (not that I am paranoid - DS is frequently in the bathroom by himself while I am 5 feet away down the corridor drying his sister). I honestly think the key to your situation is your OHs attitude. He is NOT 2 and can be expected to change things. Best of luck x

ceeveebee I always thought it was a privilege to be at home with my children and not to have to be run ragged sharing chores AND working. It paid off too - when dd was 5 I went back to work, got professional quals and now have an MBA and work full-time. You know why it paid off though, because I work because I want to and because the support DH has had means he now earns 10 x my public sector management salary. We had our first child in the 1994 btw.

Oh gosh OP, now I remember your other thread.

I'm sad to see you worrying about housework and ironing when you have much bigger problems with your DH and MIL.

Please take on board what people said in that thread. You and your DS deserve much better than this.

black out blinds I agree.

my 14mth old is currently exploring so we are a room for 15 mins and he is dragging me to the baby gate to go somewhere else - he doesn't sttn and is waking lots due to the never ending teething - he is literally dragging a zombie mummy around the house exploring.

He cosleeps and conaps (useless at sleeping haha) so I have no alone time, just tidy as I go, add in the quick hoover here and there, a wash load a day, the bathroom is cleaned quickly daily but done properly at weekend, the place is a mess but on the weekends we are doing big sortouts and decoration so it's fighting a loosing battle haha

i do housework in the night, only chance i get. the jobs that need light like painting, gardening ect it just trash the house it will be done when they are in bed.

hit post too soon.

it leaves me exhasted and i always tired and feel like i am failing, op you are not alone.