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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

reporting very bad white van man

91 replies

ScarlettAlexandra · 11/04/2012 12:07

aibu for thinking there should be an easy way to report bad abusive drivers to the police easily.

yesterday i was badly cut up an swore at by a white van man, i then by coincidence followed him to our local garage to get petrol. as he was getting petrol i said i would have been more patient (and was going to let him in anyway) with him if he had not sworn at me especially with two little ones with me. he then swore and shouted sonething along the lines if learn to drive f this f that. i got my petrol in tears and was really shook by this behaviour.

i called the police when i got home still in tears and because i didnt take reg (i was too upset) they didnt want to know. aibu to think they should have acted considering the garage would have had cctv?

OP posts:

Katienana · 11/04/2012 12:12

He sounds like a nasty piece of work, if I were you I wouldn't have said anything at the petrol station but spent that time taking down his registration. The police are busy and it would probably take a disproportionate amount of time to review the CCTV footage, trace the driver, and then tell him off for swearing. I'm sure if he had actually crashed into you or something like that then they would look at the CCTV but can understand why not as he hasn't actually committed a crime.

AwkwardMaryHadAnEasterLamb · 11/04/2012 12:14

What on earth is a "white van man"?? Is it like saying "A green mini woman" or a "Blue VW" man

You really shoud NOT have approached him or spoken to him at the station...ESPECIALLY with two children in your care.

The police are unfortunately stretched and this wasn''t a violent incident.

pjmama · 11/04/2012 12:14

I was once honked and sworn at by a bloke when I stalled at some traffic lights - I gave him a dirty look in my mirror and drove off. He then followed me to the next set of lights, got out of his car and started shouting at me before punching my window and storming off. I DID get his number and went straight to the police station and they weren't interested then either. Apparently I provoked him by giving him a dirty look. Lost my faith in them that day.

I now have a strict policy to completely ignore wankers on the roads, regardless of how much they're shouting and swearing. You'll never make them see that their behaviour is unacceptable (coz they're wankers) and you don't get the back up you need if it escalates. It's just not worth getting into an argument with tossers like that.

Clytaemnestra · 11/04/2012 12:16

You started it up again in the petrol station though by having a go at him. You should have just left it. Garage wouldn't have CCTV of the driving incident so how do the police know what happened there, all they would have on CCTV is you approaching him and telling him off, then him shouting at you.

But yes, I wish there was a way to report people for bad driving. How do you prove it though?

hairylemon · 11/04/2012 12:17

There is an easy way to report, if you have the reg number .

YABU to think they should take time to look at CCTV. Why would they do that if you couldnt even get the reg number?

Am a bit surprpised he had you in tears considering you were pretty ballsy to carry it on in the petrol station.

ninah · 11/04/2012 12:19

is swearing a criminal offence? Fuck I'm in trouble

ajandjjmum · 11/04/2012 12:19

If anyone drives badly around me, I make a point of taking their number or a photo of their vehicle - so that can see me doing it - and don't react all all.

One guy actually followed me and got out at traffic lights further on to apologise for his behaviour. Mind you, I thought he was going to thump me!

FondleWithCare · 11/04/2012 12:21

YABU to expect the police to waste time trawling through CCTV footage to find a registration number, they have more to do. You should have taken down the number yourself, you didn't so nothing can be done. What offence would he be charged with anyway?

Original poster

ScarlettAlexandra · 11/04/2012 12:23

i wasnt agressive with him its not in nature i just wanted to clear the air, and to tell him i would have let him in anyway and there was no need to swear.

i was trying to be nice. i wont bother in future. comes to sonething when you cant speak to someone without being abused.

i was really shaken as i said.

OP posts:

hairylemon · 11/04/2012 12:24

Assault with a deadly swear word Fondle?

Original poster

ScarlettAlexandra · 11/04/2012 12:25

i thought if you where agressive and swore in an abusive tone that was illegal. maybe im wrong?

OP posts:

hairylemon · 11/04/2012 12:25

Thats very passive aggressive OP. Just as bad as him IMO.

ninah · 11/04/2012 12:26

aj how do you manage to take pics while driving? just curious

Original poster

ScarlettAlexandra · 11/04/2012 12:27

how hairy?

OP posts:

BellaOfTheBalls · 11/04/2012 12:30

Data protection would mean that the police would have to request the CCTV from the petrol station & this is only done in circumstances where there is evidence of a crime. Besides no CCTV picks up sound, so unless he was physically abusive or approached you all it would show is the two of you having a conversation.

People who drive like bellends tend to act like them too. Unfortunately being a grade A wanker isn't a crime yet

Oh and PP 'white van man' is stereotypically a man who does some kind of manual work, reads The Sun (but only for page 3 & the football), and drives a white transit van very, very badly.

Clytaemnestra · 11/04/2012 12:31

Clear the air? You'll never see him again, you weren't trying to avoid an atmosphere, I think you wanted him to apologise and admit he was wrong.

Also, I'm a bit that you are surprised that he swore at you again, being the only other interaction you'd had with him was him swearing at you.

NeilsBoar · 11/04/2012 12:31

In london there is Road Safe London - Sadly, as far as I know there is no equivalent in the rest of the UK. In my experience and second hand experience the police are only interested if there is actually a collision involving injury...

I think the roads would be a far safer place if we had a similar near miss system that aeroplanes have, i.e., one unsubstantiated report is noted, but if you get reported a lot by other road users then you risk points/license loss.

Mrskbpw · 11/04/2012 12:32

pjmama - I witnessed a road rage attack recently - a man was shouting and swearing at a woman in the car behind. He went back to his car and got a walking stick and started smashing her windscreen with it (it didn't break, thankfully). He even tried to open her door, but she slammed it shut. I reported that and gave the police his registration number and they could not have been less interested. They told me it was only a crime if the victim reported it. Er, right. What about murders?

FondleWithCare · 11/04/2012 12:34

Assault with a deadly swear word? Right then I'm reporting all Mumsnetters to the police immediately.

hairylemon · 11/04/2012 12:34

because passive agressiveness is just as bad IMO as its sneaky and devious, because when the person being all pa doesnt get the reaction they want, they go all watery eyed and "but I was only trying to help / be nice" etc.

Original poster

ScarlettAlexandra · 11/04/2012 12:37

clytaemnestra, i suppose i wanted him to realise that behaving like that is wrong yes. i thought his action where just in the heat of the moment and not all the time (how stupid and wrong was i)

OP posts:

GrahamTribe · 11/04/2012 12:39

If you call people on their behaviour you have to be prepared to accept their reaction IMHO. Being "in tears" at someone saying "fuck" to you is a little, OTTum, uncalled for. What do you want the police to do? Send a squad out looking for a guy who said fuck to an oversensitive woman or look for the child who went missing in your town, rapist on the loose or con-man to the elderly?

Original poster

ScarlettAlexandra · 11/04/2012 12:40

maybe i am turning into my judgemental mil. i will just keep my mouth firmly shut in future.

OP posts:

mablemurple · 11/04/2012 12:40

I don't think the op was being that manipulative, hairylemon, and it certainly wasn't on a par with someone being overtly aggressive and frightening.

hathorinareddress69 · 11/04/2012 12:42

You should not have approached him at the filling station especially with kids in the car with you.

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