reporting very bad white van man

[ScarlettAlexandra]

aibu for thinking there should be an easy way to report bad abusive drivers to the police easily.

yesterday i was badly cut up an swore at by a white van man, i then by coincidence followed him to our local garage to get petrol. as he was getting petrol i said i would have been more patient (and was going to let him in anyway) with him if he had not sworn at me especially with two little ones with me. he then swore and shouted sonething along the lines if learn to drive f this f that. i got my petrol in tears and was really shook by this behaviour.

i called the police when i got home still in tears and because i didnt take reg (i was too upset) they didnt want to know. aibu to think they should have acted considering the garage would have had cctv?

the lanes where clearly marked to tell you which direction to go. middke kane wasnt overtaking lane coming into the island. all cars where sitting in stationary traffic. so no slowing etc. The van was in the wrong lane as was the fiesta. i dont mind if they indicate. im no mind reader. so how could i tell?

middle lane i mean

OP you should have taken the reg unfortunately. If you had they may have done something but probably not.

But it does annoy me how many people seem to think this is some way normal or acceptable. It's not. It's part of that gradual erosion of kindness and consideration in society that I detest. I lived in England for years and especially in cities was a bit at some of the ways I saw complete strangers interact with one another. It's something about feeling anonymous and untouchable, like there are no consequences to your actions when you behave badly. And the main problem is, there usually aren't (as the people who reported to police found out).

I still don't really understand what happened.

I can understand that he might have cut you up. There's a lot of that, unfortunately - some really aggressive and rude drivers on the roads.

But why would he have sworn at you? You must have done something to provoke that! From your first description all I can think is that by allowing the Fiesta to pull out in front of you, that you somehow impeded his way.

That doesn't make it acceptable, by the way - I'm just trying to understand why he would have the need to swear at you without any provocation!

*If he cut you up, what was his issue with your driving ?

in any case YOU followed him to the petrol station and initiated the confrontation! saying something you don't want to hear ie you're a crap driver, isn't a criminal offence you know

You didn't take his registration and now you feel let down by the Police?

Seriously?

i think it is a fact of the rat race that there will be aggressive drivers out there...best to turn a blind eye and let them deal with the high blood pressure rather than you

my 10 year old son regularly gives me a running commentary from the back seat of what other drivers are "saying to me" when they try to overtake/have to wait for me to get out of a parking space (he can lip read well)
"mummy she called you a fcuking bitch"
"mummy she called you a stupid b.....d"...strangely they have always been women...........

OMG blubbery at 10 years old?

I'd certainly have a word about repeating that lol

i know but if adults will swear in front of him through glass windows.............

but i do agree with what Angelico said..it is sad that society is so nasty and impatient. that's why i live in the countryside dittering along at my leisure behind a tractor

ScarlettAlexandra This man was an arsehole. It doesn't sound like the police were as helpful or useful as they should have been. It wasn't your fault and I cannot believe the posters who are trying to blame you or justify his behaviour.

The police should have explained to you why they couldn't do anything and made it clear that they took reports of threatening behaviour seriously. They should have said that if anything like this happened again you should not approach the man but take his reg no and description and let them deal with it.

Then they should have sent two uniformed officers round for an informal chat in the next week or so when they were passing his house to get his side of it.

They should have explained that though he wasn't in trouble they took threatening or intimidatory behaviour extremely seriously and would prosecute if they ever had proof of it. If he gave a convincing story that you acted in an aggressive manner towards him they'd have had a duty to warn you too.

The reason I know this was that it was what happened when I was verbally abused by a neighbour without reasonable provocation but there wasn't enough evidence to proceed against them.

It knocked it on the head which satisfied me. From the police's point of view they had prevented further behaviour that might have led to a more serious offence.

Everyone's happy. It didn't take much manpower either.

Hope you feeling better op and less shaken up. It is a shame you didn't get his registration number but probably nothing much would have happened even if you did. He does sound like a bullying arse. [In retrospect would have been better not to have talked to him at the garage].
It seems far too acceptable to have to accept ignorant torrents of abuse from idiots who think they rule the road.

I like your posts limitedperiodonly.

Sadly OP, your mistake was thinking that you could make him see the error of his ways. And expecting the police to act without a reg number to go on.

Well my DH is a white van man, and this happened to him the other day with a woman driver in a small family car abusing HIM! He was waiting a lights and she wanted to pull in front of him as the car in front of her was broken down. His pickup is high up but he couldn't see the broken down car as there was a bus in front of him, and couldn't see her in her drivers seat, so was unaware she needed letting out and just drove off when the lights changed.

She went MENTAL, f'ing and blinding and shaking her fists at him! He carried on and just ignored her (mild mannered fella), but she chased him down the road for a mile, shouting abuse the whole way! He was actually worried at one point at the lights that she was going to get out and give him a slap!

So, this was hairy builder in white van being chased and abused by middle aged woman in a mondeo - our stereotypes are not always right!

Good point Paula!

wow paula thats pretty full on. im not confrontational on the road, i would rather hide than fight. not all van drivers are like the one i had met. most are lovely.

oopsie i was going to the garage anyway i dont make a habit if following random van drivers who swear at me.

Scarlett I found myself in a similar situation recently with another car driver.

Unfortunately this gentleman got most upset when I didn't slam on my brakes on a dual carriageway to let him change lanes, an inch from my front bumper. There were many expletives screamed at me through open windows.

I was then unfortunate enough to pull up along side the same gentleman at the next set of lights where he continued to scream at me at which point I looked across at him smiled sweetly and waved. The look of confusion on his face was priceless.

This is how I now plan on dealing with all twatty drivers from now on :)

wow you took a risk op.
you went up to a completely strange man(as in stranger) and had a go at him.
very silly imo.
and as fo harassment, if the police were to find him, he could probally say tha op harassed him.

how us telling someone calmly, that the language was not needed and i would have let him in anyway. its really agressive and harrasing, i think not.

i bet he felt really good about himself making me cry.

but you approached him...so he could say that
I am not saying you harassed him, just that if the police found him he could say that.

no i have been driving for 6 years.

yes i can be over sensitive, but i dont normally get shouted at by anyone. You dont expect it from another normal adult. tbh i have moved from a small village to a big city recently and im not used to this. everyone new everyone else where i came from so it wouldnt have happened.