to want to take my pushchair into my doctors surgery?

[gillquil]

my g.p surgery has just banned pushchairs, I've them a letter that follows, is this the norm? or should I just change our G.P.?

Hello,

I would like to make a complaint about the forthcoming ban on pushchairs in the surgery from the first of April. I am a mother of three, my eldest child has just turned four and we have a double pushchair which we normally use for our two youngest. My youngest child has just turned one, and as is typical for his age, he wants to crawl and climb all the time, he definitely doesn?t want to sit on my lap while I wait, he will however normally wait happily in his pushchair, or sleep in it while we wait or during our appointments. My two year old daughter just wants to run around.

If I am unable to bring my pushchair into the surgery I am going to have to let my son crawl over the floor in the surgery which I can?t imagine being the most hygienic thing to do. Or when he is asleep I will have to wake him, and what if both he and his sister are sleeping? do I really want to wait for my appointment struggling with a sobbing two year old daughter and a crying one year old son, my handbag, and changing bag on the floor or on the seat next to me. All of which, toddler, and baby and baggage have to then be carried into the appointment. I would also like to know what is suggested for mothers who need for example to have their young child with them during say a smear test? Should I leave him to crawl around the floor in the surgery during this?

Parents that I know often rely on being able to entertain a young child or children in a pushchair so that they can speak to their G.P. or nurse for a few minutes uninterrupted. Or the child sleeps on through their appointment and waiting time, and the parent can have a proper conversation or treatment.
I don?t have the option of arranging childcare for the times when I need to come to the surgery, especially as we normally ring at 8 a.m to see what appointment we can get if any for that morning.

I asked about the security of the area that has been designated for pushchairs to be left. As far as the lady I spoke to knew, there is none, it seems that the surgery is relying on the area being ?out of sight.? I disagree anyone walking past will be able to see a row of unsecured pushchairs. Pushchairs cost as I am sure you know an enormous amount of money. We live close by and two of my neighbours have had pushchairs stolen from outside their own front doors in the last six months, and we had a child?s scooter taken ourselves. It was suggested also that I buy a bicycle style lock for our chair, but I can?t see what I would secure it to.

While I can see the need for some sort solution to the congestion in the waiting room, as a result of parents and children who are patients at XXX Surgery using pushchairs, I don?t feel that just telling people their only option is to leave their pushchairs outside, in an unsecured area, and carry in their child or children and changing bags, handbags and who knows even their shopping, is acceptable. In fact I think it?s discriminatory. I have spoken to several mothers today who are patients at XXX, as are their children, and they all agree, and have said they will be putting forward their comments also.

I look forward to your reply and hope that XXX can be a bit more creative in finding a solution that doesn?t leave patients feeling unwelcome.

Here we go again

So ClaireAll your children even when toddlers obeyed everything you have asked them

They were pretty good when they were out, and when I adopted my special tone of voice and stare.

It's not impossible to discipline a toddler. I don't understand why people are making it out to be an impossibility.

so you are saying a child as young as 1-2 will always listen when you say no with a special tone or give them a look? because mine would to that once a bit older, but toddlers ie my dd who is 16mths and up to say 2 and ahalf to 3? no that wouldnt always work, at that age they are learning they dont know why they should sit still, or that in some places its ok to run and play and others its not. and it takes patience and lots of repetition for them to learn!

plus if you have a long wait in the drs, ie 30-40mins and then have the actual appointment with the drs, they may well not want to sit still that long or have the attention span to sit quietly and play with a toy.

is beginning to wonder if i have a different species of toddler than others...

You stop them from running around in the first place! Even if that means they complain loudly. You are in charge. And you distract with book/toy/sweets /having a conversation or even singing songs with them (!), whatever it takes, where possible. Its annoying,yes, if surgery is running late,but my kids learned that you have to sit and wait patiently and occupy yourself with something. I made it my business to keep annoyance to others to a minimum.
Having said that , there are big age gaps between my children (3 and a half and 4 and a half years difference),so when one was a toddler the others were school age. Can't imagine having a couple of toddlers together. Am prepared to admit that I don't have that experience.

So what is the surgery supposed to do? assuming they haven't done this out of sheer bloody-mindedness. If there is insufficient space? If elderly or otherwise infirm patients are struggling to find space to sit or to pass unimpeded? Or more likely the insurers have spoken? What should they do?

Yes, 5mad. Start them young.

i have and do hold mine even if it means they protest and believe me ds2 did and ds4, but when you have a baby and other children to keep an eye on as well its not that simple and i repeat i have to put them them down so as to undress for the dr to examine my eczema.

its a moot point for me, my drs surgery allows pushchairs, infact despite having moved around and having to change surgeries several times i am yet to find one that doesnt, other than the local childrens centre, which as its new and pruprosefully built for mum and babies, seems rather odd!

it really depends on the surgery as to what they should do, some of the cloth chairs may work in some areas or bouncy chair type things in drs rooms, tbh in the waiting room and can hold, entertain them its when seeing the gp that its not always possible.

i dont think a blanket ban is the way to go, most people i know ARE considerate and leave pushchairs outside if they can, move them out of the way and are courteous to others, tbh i am yet to meet a mad crazed pushchair owner like some people on here seem to think exist.

jamdonut- it's easy to say that, but mothers who have eager run around, let's explore toddlers are not bad mothers, they are mothers of normal children with normal age appropriate impulses. My 2 yo is a happy lunatic in the Dr surgery who wants to climb on everything. Since this might be a nuisance to those sitting quietly, I often keep in the pushchair and read to him where he is well behaved and happy. AND QUIET.

If you think you can train him to sit quietly for 45 minutes like a placid little doll (my appts are often late) then please do try. I'd love to see that.

Mothers can't win. If your child is in a pushchair you should be using a sling.
If your child is noisy it's because you let them. If your child is 2 and doesn't sit still for prolonged period as per instructions it is your fault for not training the exploratory impulses out of him. If he is a nuisance to other patients, shame on you.

Can't win.

We are all mums at the end of the day, naughty children don't make us bad mothers
Its especially hard when you have more than one to control also.
Pushchairs make everyones lives easier -it keeps our children out of harms way ie stairs & doors and it also prevents the toddler from irratating others.
All toddlers/babies are unique and some or good sometimes, all the time or not at all.
I have yet to meet a child that behaves 24/7 like some of you are making out and even if its true one day u may have a dc that isnt so good-it can happen
Gonna try the phil & teds wrap thingy if my surgery ever bans prams as id rather not be chasing my dc around the surgery for 30mins at the moment shes still crawling so i dont want her crawling on floors very unhygenic

i dont think a toddler wanting to explore is naughty tbh! i think its normal and developmentally appropriate, what we as parents have to do is help them to learn where they can explore and when they have to not do so, or at least be supervised etc, in the drs surgery its best for them to sit still, mine wouldnt sit on my knee without screaming, but would sit in the pushchair with snacks and toys.

ds1 was the child that would sit quietly but the other 4 have not followed suit they will sometimes nad if entertained but even the best of entertainment doesnt stop them wriggling adn crying to go and explore and if i give my 16mth old dd a 'look' which i do! she often grins and goes to touch whatever it was that i was telling her not to ie the xbox, she is testing boundaries and looking for responses and consequences, which is normal, she also doesnt have the memory capacity to remember from one day to the next what she is and isnt allowed to do!

i dont want her crawling round a drs surgery floor either!

The doctors' surgery is not a park or a children's museum. It is not an appropriate place to do a lot of exploring.

and that why i said there are places where they learn they cant, but its not like you tell them once and they understand, they dont understand thats the point and the majority of toddlers are not going to sit for 40mins whilst you wait, regardless of entertainment.

There's a good chance if you set high expectations.

Orm I posted yesterday what I think would be a good idea:

"I think that surgeries should be aware of these accessibility issues and advise parents that if they need assistance with access then to speak to X and they will find a solution."

"Parenting" is not the issue here.

People not being able to manage carrying two heavy twins or carrying a newborn and looking after a toddler when they have a mobility issue is nothing to do with "parenting".

I still think that leaving babies on the waiting room floor is a bad idea, incidentally, and I know that my practice will not allow this (they will not allow them to be left on the floor in the consulting room while you are examined).

high expectations or unreasonable expectations of a 16mth old to sit quietly for 40mins particularly if they are tired or poorly?!

and if you have a baby as well as that toddler to entertain? i know that mine would all sit happily in a pushchair but as soon as they were out they were not always happy to sit on my lap or on a chair etc, and if i cannot always hold them then its far easier to keep them in the pushchair, that isnt poor parenting, its what works.

and believe me i am not a pushover mum, i am regularly praised for the fact that my children are well behaved and polite and i dont put up with bad behaviour or fussy eating etc. you can set your standards as high as you like but some toddlers will not sit and be entertained quietly on your lap for 40mins before you even get to go in for you appointment, couple this with a mother who may be suffering mh problems etc and you can see why some women wouldnt even go to the gp to get help!

sardinequeen its the same at my surgery they wont allow them to be left on the floor at my surgery either, one dr said oh just lay her on the bed whilst you get undressed etc, the high bed, with a 4mth old baby who would ROLL off the bed...

5madthings you don't need to defend your parenting to people on here.

In Norway, the GPs surgeries have fabulous spacious waiting areas, with pot plants, books, leather upholstery sofas, room for buggies....

Everybody pay £25 for an appointment. More for prescriptions, extra charges for repeat prescriptions (on top of the cost for actual medicine), fees for bloodtests...

Maybe that is an idea? Let everybody pay for appointments to fund room for buggies?

I thought the plan was that people should somehow not have had the children in the first place.

Equating the difficulties that parents on this thread have had accessing healthcare with wanting nice leather sofas and potplants is really off.

Well, maybe there are other solutions?