to want to take my pushchair into my doctors surgery?

[gillquil]

my g.p surgery has just banned pushchairs, I've them a letter that follows, is this the norm? or should I just change our G.P.?

Hello,

I would like to make a complaint about the forthcoming ban on pushchairs in the surgery from the first of April. I am a mother of three, my eldest child has just turned four and we have a double pushchair which we normally use for our two youngest. My youngest child has just turned one, and as is typical for his age, he wants to crawl and climb all the time, he definitely doesn?t want to sit on my lap while I wait, he will however normally wait happily in his pushchair, or sleep in it while we wait or during our appointments. My two year old daughter just wants to run around.

If I am unable to bring my pushchair into the surgery I am going to have to let my son crawl over the floor in the surgery which I can?t imagine being the most hygienic thing to do. Or when he is asleep I will have to wake him, and what if both he and his sister are sleeping? do I really want to wait for my appointment struggling with a sobbing two year old daughter and a crying one year old son, my handbag, and changing bag on the floor or on the seat next to me. All of which, toddler, and baby and baggage have to then be carried into the appointment. I would also like to know what is suggested for mothers who need for example to have their young child with them during say a smear test? Should I leave him to crawl around the floor in the surgery during this?

Parents that I know often rely on being able to entertain a young child or children in a pushchair so that they can speak to their G.P. or nurse for a few minutes uninterrupted. Or the child sleeps on through their appointment and waiting time, and the parent can have a proper conversation or treatment.
I don?t have the option of arranging childcare for the times when I need to come to the surgery, especially as we normally ring at 8 a.m to see what appointment we can get if any for that morning.

I asked about the security of the area that has been designated for pushchairs to be left. As far as the lady I spoke to knew, there is none, it seems that the surgery is relying on the area being ?out of sight.? I disagree anyone walking past will be able to see a row of unsecured pushchairs. Pushchairs cost as I am sure you know an enormous amount of money. We live close by and two of my neighbours have had pushchairs stolen from outside their own front doors in the last six months, and we had a child?s scooter taken ourselves. It was suggested also that I buy a bicycle style lock for our chair, but I can?t see what I would secure it to.

While I can see the need for some sort solution to the congestion in the waiting room, as a result of parents and children who are patients at XXX Surgery using pushchairs, I don?t feel that just telling people their only option is to leave their pushchairs outside, in an unsecured area, and carry in their child or children and changing bags, handbags and who knows even their shopping, is acceptable. In fact I think it?s discriminatory. I have spoken to several mothers today who are patients at XXX, as are their children, and they all agree, and have said they will be putting forward their comments also.

I look forward to your reply and hope that XXX can be a bit more creative in finding a solution that doesn?t leave patients feeling unwelcome.

I am struggling to understand very many coherent point here. All I am seeing is whingeing. Yes, from you, SQ.

I see. So struggling with post natal depression and anxiety combined with a pre-existing mobility problem is "whinging"

You're not really a very nice person are you
Plenty told you when you started posting earlier on, and I'm telling you now.

Do you find it amusing to wind up a person on the internet who you know struggles with anxiety and depression?

I wonder why that is fun for you. You indicated that you work in a doctor's surgery. I am not surprised. i wonder if it is mine.

OK I admit I haven't read the whole thread. But from the bits I've read, I'm gobsmacked at the lack of understanding. Some people need to take their buggies into surgeries. Is that such a terrible thing? I'm one of those people. My twins are 18 months old but not walking yet. They and I have needed loads of doctor's appointments lately. At our surgery you have to book on the day. We have no family within 3 hours' drive. We've recently moved to this area so I don't know anyone well enough to leave either child with them. (And I'd have to know someone pretty damn well to leave my kids with them. Pardon me for not taking a risk on that front.) I'm quite a self-sufficient person, not naturally inclined to ask favours anyway. So I load my kids up in the buggy and take them to the doc's. Is that such a big deal? I'm super-considerate when I get there and don't get in anyone's way. I REALLY don't see what the problem is.

Well, I've only had two children so far, but they pooed multiple times a day. I just took it for granted. I feel hard-done-by now!

I remember Darling Twin 2 pooing 7 times before lunch-time when he was nearly four months old, but it wasn't that unusual. I only remember because I was with MIL at the time, and we were getting ready to go out to meet someone for lunch, and show off the cute babies.

We only just made the last possible bus!

My surgery banned them but provided bike locks to lock your buggy outside on a busy street. That didn't deter the *hole who decided to cut the lock and steal my double buggy whilst I had my two children inside! I changed doctor's surgeries shortly afterwards.

Claire, you (and others) may have found a way to deal with it, but don't you get it - that is not empathy! That is, 'well I coped with 5 children, it's called parenting'.

Surely the point is that problems like this could put someone who is in a vulnerable state of mind off going to the very person that could help them.

I am extremely lucky, that at my lowest point, the kind, thoughtful receptionists and gps at my surgery were flexible about their 'no buggies' rule, because if they hadn't been, believe me i would not have bothered going at a time when I and my dcs desperately needed the help of our gp.

I think you are being unreasonable, medieval.

The solution is that you put your wallet in your changing bag.

That way you will avoid murdering any pensioners.

Alternatively, have you considered the idea that maybe you shouldn't have had your children? That is an alternative that has been raised.

I am sure someone with a lot of wisdom will be along shortly to explain why making life easier for you to manage is just totally beyond the pale.

(And if you haven't read the thread you won't get half of that! But wow there are some horrid people on here.)

Thebigjessie mine pooed all the time as well. Many times a day. And often explosively. Going out with one nappy and no change of vest/babygro would be asking for trouble! I cannot imagine a baby that only poos once a week. But, seeing as I understand that not everybody is exactly the same, I believe it can happen!

Claireall there for the grace of god go I.

If your perfect life crumbles good luck

The thing is, I don't expect or demand a perfect life, but I deal with its imperfections. I am well aware that we live in a fallen world.

I've just signed the twins on at a dentist, after reading this thread today I froze and asked the receptionist which room it would be, its the one on the first floor. Aagh but then she said don't worry we'll help you out and the dental nurse will take the other twin. Yessss I may even enjoy going to the dentist.

At the start of the thread, I had a lot of empathy especially for those with 2 or more very young children and/or mobility/MH issues. However, this thread has got whingier and whingier as time has gone on. Some people here really are martrys. Yes, it's hard but for a lot of people (particularly those who are able bodied and only have one child) is it not impossible. That said, I certainly do appreciate for some people that a blanket 'no buggy' rule would be practically impossible. I have a lot of sympathy for those people and I really hope medical staff or receptionists don't try to make things harder than they need to be.

All that said, there are certain posters here who clearly think the world should revolve around them and their pushchair.

God forbid-all you nasty 'perfect' packaged in the same box types of people actually realise at one point soon or in the future that actually you aren't actually as perfect as you think when you have a baby covered in poop with no pushchair, changing bag or a nappy and all us unperfect people will roll around with laughter when this happens because obviously you didnt need the pram, bag or nappy did you lol?!

You think that wanting to be able to see the doctor when you are ill is "demanding a perfect life"?

I am getting a little awestruck by your posting now Claire. I have only seen stuff this good a few times on MN. I assume you have been practicing

Claire, did you really breastfeed during root canal surgery? Or did I read that wrong?

Yes she did.
And her babies never pooed more than once a day.
And an assortment of other things.
Amazing, really.

Oh my lord Claire you would rather' hand your baby to a teenager in the street' than take the child with you-you are definetly not perfect.

Even more surprising with a BF baby.
Still we're all different.

to whomever asked, yes i guess my eldest (12yrs) could hold the baby, if i wanted him at the appoinment, but oddly enough i dont always want him there, and secondly he or the 9yr old can physically hold her IF she HAPPY to be held, at the drs surgery if we have been waiting some time (usual) and she is tired or bored etc then no she wont be happy to be held! she is a big for her age, strong 16mth old and if she was wriggling/crying etc i wouldnt let my 12 or 9 yr olds hold her as it wouldnt be safe, she does a dame good, throw herself back and headbutt you in the face or arch her back so you almost drop her, i can deal with this, i would not expect my other children to do so.

thankfully at my drs surgery you CAN take in pushchairs, so it hasnt been an issue there, bizarrely tho i just remembered that the NEW purposefully built childrens centre which is a toddler group venue, has HV clinics, midwife clinics, classes, a creche and nursery etc has the NO buggy rule and i encountered it a few times when preg with no 5, it was a pita anyway trying to make an appointment with the midwife that i could sort the school run/pre-school runs around and then i would invariably have ds4 with me, he would be fine left in the pushchair but once out like most toddlers he wants to ahve a good explore AND as he knew that the centre had toys and toddlers groups etc, he wanted to play with them and NOT come in to see the midwife with me, at 2yrs old i made him but he could throw one hell of strop, as some 2 yr olds tend to do. i used to have toys, snacks etc, he is no 4 so ofcourse i have dealt with that type of behaviour before and believe me a tantrum gets you NO-WHERE in this house! but in a very small room when the midwife is trying to do all her checks etc, a miserable stroppy toddler being loud, but who is also tall and can opent he door and try to escape, it certainly made appointments interesting!

interestingly towards the end of my pregnancy the midwife suggested that she would come to my home as it would be easier for me!! i was amazed and hugely greatful for this, never had one that offered that before! but i think she obviously saw that i had a willful toddler, was hugely pregnant, had been dealing with an ill ds3 (kawasakies disease) and it was a 20 min walk from my home to the centre, then i would have to walk back again, often only to go straight out on the hour round trip walk to the school or pre-school. so she did home visits, squeezed them in when doing her post natal home visits and would just ring to check i was in etc! :) some people are nice!

with regards to leaving your children, i can and do have times when i leave them, i left all 4 boys with a friend last week actually, but take today (as i said dp at home so it was ok) three friends i can and do leave the kids with but 2 are away on holiday, and the third lives too far away (40 mins walk) to have got to me in time, i called at 8:00 by the time i got through it was 8:10 andt he app they gave me was at 8:50am so i had half an hour to get the kids ready etc to get out, if one of my friends had been at home i could have just got them to her and then got to the appoinment as she only lives up the road, assuming she was up and available at such short notice (she has a life as well and 2 kids of her own) the other friend on holiday also lives too far away, would have to drive, could maybe have done it with more notice, but she also has a life and two children of her own.

i think many of us have people we can ask sometimes, but it needs pre arranging or to be an emergency so others will drop other stuff and come and help out and its one thing for me to as someone to look after one or two childrne, quite another to say can you ahve 3 or 4 or 5, particularly when they have their own children themselves.

i havent whinged or moaned, i have explained that going to the drs with children in tow is not a choice most of us make willingly or with delight! its a case of circumstances, i have a partner who works shifts, they cant be changed at the last minute, and even when he is off he is often on rota support and gets called in. My gp surgery offers a phone at 8:00am and get an app for that day system, if you can even get through you get what you get, you cant quibble it or you simply wont get an appointment, even when trying to book a smear, which can be done in advance they are only available at certain times on some days, oddly enough i couldnt get one that meant ds4 would be in pre-school, which would mean only taking dd, who could be strapped in the pushchair with snack happily, as it is i will end up having to take ds4 if i cant find childcare. dd will be left with dp and perhaps my friends depending on the time of the day, she hasnt been left with anyone other than dp yet, if its not nap time then she would probably be fine with friends but as they have their own childrne it may be a bit much to ask them to watch ds4 and dd, i shall have to speak to them.

thinking about this more, i had pnp and pnd after ds4, had this rule been in place at my surgery i would not have gone and got the help i so desperately needed, as i eneded up in psych unit as it was, i DREAD to think how differently things could have turned out :(

many new mums are tired, hormonal and vulnerable and not just in the immediate post natal weeks but for many months after and it is at these times they we are probably MORE likely to need a dr for baby illness, our own health etc and rules like these WILL put these fragile and vulnerable mothers off going to the gp.

Re 'whinging and moaning'. Hardly. Yes, people have offered their own experiences, mostly in an attempt to set straight those who (genuinely or ) seem unaware of the difficulties some parents legitimately face. The uglier posters here want to proclaim that these circumstances do not exist, or are so exceptional as to need no consideration, or are easily surmountable.

In fact, I think my own circumstances are not atypical, and that is precisely my point. I am much better off than some - but I am capable of extrapolation and empathy. In other words, I can look at my own experience, and can see how a one-size-fits all ban will cause problems that - while they may be sumountable for me - would not be for others. Am stymied that others (including such obviously Superior mothers) are so incapable of said extrapolation and empathy.

PS, Sardine, please update your list to add "Belong to a church."

(genuinely or not), that ought to have read....

'The thing is, I don't expect or demand a perfect life, but I deal with its imperfections. I am well aware that we live in a fallen world.'

I don't expect or demand anything, but sometimes when you are in pain, or watching one of your children suffer or the thought of even leaving the house causes you to break down in tears and you are desperately in need of help, then dealing with anything can be a huge task. Fortunately the people that work at my surgery have a great deal more empathy than some on this thread, but it makes me sad to think that others in the same sort of position are not so lucky.

All that said, there are certain posters here who clearly think the world should revolve around them and their pushchair

Just a bit.

And to think all sob stories would be solved by simply being able to take the pushchair into the surgery. Miraculous.