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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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to want to take my pushchair into my doctors surgery?

999 replies

gillquil · 09/04/2012 22:39

my g.p surgery has just banned pushchairs, I've them a letter that follows, is this the norm? or should I just change our G.P.?

Hello,

I would like to make a complaint about the forthcoming ban on pushchairs in the surgery from the first of April. I am a mother of three, my eldest child has just turned four and we have a double pushchair which we normally use for our two youngest. My youngest child has just turned one, and as is typical for his age, he wants to crawl and climb all the time, he definitely doesn?t want to sit on my lap while I wait, he will however normally wait happily in his pushchair, or sleep in it while we wait or during our appointments. My two year old daughter just wants to run around.

If I am unable to bring my pushchair into the surgery I am going to have to let my son crawl over the floor in the surgery which I can?t imagine being the most hygienic thing to do. Or when he is asleep I will have to wake him, and what if both he and his sister are sleeping? do I really want to wait for my appointment struggling with a sobbing two year old daughter and a crying one year old son, my handbag, and changing bag on the floor or on the seat next to me. All of which, toddler, and baby and baggage have to then be carried into the appointment. I would also like to know what is suggested for mothers who need for example to have their young child with them during say a smear test? Should I leave him to crawl around the floor in the surgery during this?

Parents that I know often rely on being able to entertain a young child or children in a pushchair so that they can speak to their G.P. or nurse for a few minutes uninterrupted. Or the child sleeps on through their appointment and waiting time, and the parent can have a proper conversation or treatment.
I don?t have the option of arranging childcare for the times when I need to come to the surgery, especially as we normally ring at 8 a.m to see what appointment we can get if any for that morning.

I asked about the security of the area that has been designated for pushchairs to be left. As far as the lady I spoke to knew, there is none, it seems that the surgery is relying on the area being ?out of sight.? I disagree anyone walking past will be able to see a row of unsecured pushchairs. Pushchairs cost as I am sure you know an enormous amount of money. We live close by and two of my neighbours have had pushchairs stolen from outside their own front doors in the last six months, and we had a child?s scooter taken ourselves. It was suggested also that I buy a bicycle style lock for our chair, but I can?t see what I would secure it to.

While I can see the need for some sort solution to the congestion in the waiting room, as a result of parents and children who are patients at XXX Surgery using pushchairs, I don?t feel that just telling people their only option is to leave their pushchairs outside, in an unsecured area, and carry in their child or children and changing bags, handbags and who knows even their shopping, is acceptable. In fact I think it?s discriminatory. I have spoken to several mothers today who are patients at XXX, as are their children, and they all agree, and have said they will be putting forward their comments also.

I look forward to your reply and hope that XXX can be a bit more creative in finding a solution that doesn?t leave patients feeling unwelcome.

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadows · 11/04/2012 17:46

brdgrl I fail to see how it is in any way nasty.

If you find it difficult to take your children with you to the GP, leave them with somebody! How is that nasty?

With parenting, you need to plan every day, and every activity, and make an assessment, can I do this? Will this work? If you judge it so that it wont, you find a suitable alternative and make other arrangements!

SardineQueen · 11/04/2012 17:48

You said that women who found it difficult should not have had children.

Then talked about bolting the stable door after the horse had bolted. And grinned.

SardineQueen · 11/04/2012 17:51

You are aware that there are women on this thread who find their GP inacessible because of health issues / mobility issues / mental health issues (or a combination). I assume.

brdgrl · 11/04/2012 17:54

You fail to see how it was nasty? Hmm
You: If you have too many children to be able to care for them while going to the GP, or unable to leave them with somebody, maybe you simply have too many children?
SQ: There are women on this thread who feel unable to attend the GP with a toddler and a baby because of various issues including post-natal mental health issues. You have just said that these women should not have had children if they were not going to be able to manage. Is that what you mean.
You: SQ, not if you are unable to cope doing everyday things such as visiting your GP, either with your children with you, or placed elsewhere. But, saying that is like locking the door after the horse has escaped, right?

Is it any clearer to you yet?
Women who are rendered (perhaps post-childbirth)unable to perform normal daily activities, by depression or physical infirmity, should not have had their children.
That is what you said. You may backtrack, but I think it is clear. And very nasty.

ClaireAll · 11/04/2012 17:56

This brings up another cultural issue.

None of this is a problem if you have someone to leave your child with.

I know with ourselves, that we have no family where we live (they are 7 - 20 hours away). We had to bite the bullet an make friends with other young families. Then it was a case of helping one another out.

These things last for years, too. So the women you met at parentcraft/NCT were the mums you had coffee mornings with, who you met outside nursery and primary school.

If you don't have family to rely on, you really do need to make connections with people, not just for doctors' appointments, but also for school pickups way into the future. We were never ever meant to be parents on our own, but as part of a community. Go and make connections at your church toddler group, then when you are in a particular fix, there will be someone who will step forward to help you out.

Use teenage babysitters in your street - they are desperate for some extra money - and schedule your smear test during the school holidays. A few weeks here or there is not going to make a difference.

Sorry, another solution there. :)

QuintessentialShadows · 11/04/2012 17:59

I am sorry. I still dont get it.

To me it is logical to find ways of making it to the GP without the children, if I cannot manage having them with me, or bring somebody to help. I dont understand how this is not an option? Not feeling strong enough, or mentally well enough to endure 2-3 children in a waiting room is not a failure, it is being realistic and making other arrangements. If ONE child is ill, you of course bring the sick child. That goes without saying. Why the need to bring them all to the doctors to crawl the floor and pick up germs?

QuintessentialShadows · 11/04/2012 18:02

Exactly Clair, well said.

You dont HAVE to insert your coil, or have a smear with children in tow. These things can be planned in advance.

It is called planning.

Taking kids to the doctors to insert coils, have smears or gynae, is sheer madness. I am not surprised doctors and nurses dont want even to have children strapped in pushchairs while they perform certain parts of their job.

To be honest, I think the ban is made purely to make parents think twice about bring babies and toddler with them to the doctor. It is not always appropriate.

SardineQueen · 11/04/2012 18:04

We have been through all this on the thread QS. The many reasons and combinations of reasons that some women have difficulty accessing the GP.

EasilyBored · 11/04/2012 18:10

Many people have said that they just don't have anyone to leave their children with. It's not as simple as 'plan to not take them', but if I need to do that I have to make an appointment outside of normal working hours (and those slots get booked up fast) so my husband is home. I don't have ANY family nearby, and all my friends work during the day too. I do know women through baby groups etc, but not well enough to leave my baby with. I'm lucky because I have a great GP surgery, with flexible hours and nice staff who will hold my baby for me during appointments and a husband who can work flexi time sometimes, but I doubt I am in the majority in having those circumstances.

MishiMoshi · 11/04/2012 18:10

I had my coil inserted a month after giving birth. I was breastfeeding throughout the very quick procedure and the lovely GP said she would recommend other mother's did the same as it meant I was super relaxed. Luckily, nobody at that surgery batted an eyelid at parents who took children with then to appointments. I'm a bit Hmm at those who think it's better to leave newborns with teenage babysitters instead - much more stressful for both I'd have thought.

bigjoeent · 11/04/2012 18:11

QS I find it strange that you don't get that it is not always possible to leave other children behind when you take one to the Dr.

Whilst Claireall makes a really god point, something I'm working on not all appointments are routine. You can't always get someone in time as illnesses aren't planned. If I could leave some children behind I'd jump at it but it isn't always possible. Plus, I don't think its fair of me to leave babies with people they don't really know.

QuintessentialShadows · 11/04/2012 18:13

Well, I shall conceded that maybe I dont see it as a problem as I cannot imagine the logistics of more than two!

ClaireAll · 11/04/2012 19:18

I have five. The logistics are not that bad!

zzzzz · 11/04/2012 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ClaireAll · 11/04/2012 19:35

It's not a ace to the bottom, zzzzz.

Let's just assume that my five came with their own trials.

ClaireAll · 11/04/2012 19:36
  • race
hazeyjane · 11/04/2012 19:38

'See, I have had five children and I know all these things.'

You see that is the problem with threads like these - the fact that you have had 5 children or have travelled the world with your children, does not in fact mean that you know diddly squat about other peoples lives and circumstances.

You do however show an astounding lack of understanding or empathy.

SardineQueen · 11/04/2012 19:39

But Claire it is just a fact that for one reason or another, some people cope with things less than other people do.

Why can the people who are not coping, for whatever reason, be given assistance.

Especially when the thing they are trying to access is the very thing that might help them cope better ie the doctor.

I know that many people have a survival of the fittest / sink or swim / toughen up and get on with it approach, but does this really need to be applied to the access of a GP?

ClaireAll · 11/04/2012 19:42

But, Jane, a lot of the objections raised here are just simple things that we have all found ways to deal with, including the OP.

SardineQueen · 11/04/2012 19:43

brdgirl missed your post earlier yes it was very clear.

SardineQueen · 11/04/2012 19:44

Like going out with one nappy and putting your purse in your nappy bag.

Yes that's really going to help with the issues raised on here.

ClaireAll · 11/04/2012 19:45

SQ, by all your whining, you are basically supporting perfectly able people bringing in their stacked über-buggies into the surgeries. You re supporting the very people who have caused the risk assessors to make their unwelcome assessment.

Think about the root causes of the problem, and for the love of God, come up with some kind of solution.

ClaireAll · 11/04/2012 19:46

The nappy bag/handbag was an issue raised on this thread. If it turns out to be trivial, don't raise it. The solution was given in good faith.

SardineQueen · 11/04/2012 19:46

situation

"changing bag
babe in arms
handbag
young toddler
stairs
dodgy legs
depression and anxiety"

You

"You could ditch either your handbag or the changing bag..."

Me

"claireall wow THANKS

If only I had combined those two bags, which were obviously by far the most major issue, everything would have been fine!

Silly old me!"

You

"Every little helps, sardine. Smile"

At which point I asked if you were taking the piss and you admitted with a grin that you were. So why are you still posting this nonsense?

SardineQueen · 11/04/2012 19:47

x-posts

it was part of a list

do you understand what a list is?