to want to take my pushchair into my doctors surgery?

[gillquil]

my g.p surgery has just banned pushchairs, I've them a letter that follows, is this the norm? or should I just change our G.P.?

Hello,

I would like to make a complaint about the forthcoming ban on pushchairs in the surgery from the first of April. I am a mother of three, my eldest child has just turned four and we have a double pushchair which we normally use for our two youngest. My youngest child has just turned one, and as is typical for his age, he wants to crawl and climb all the time, he definitely doesn?t want to sit on my lap while I wait, he will however normally wait happily in his pushchair, or sleep in it while we wait or during our appointments. My two year old daughter just wants to run around.

If I am unable to bring my pushchair into the surgery I am going to have to let my son crawl over the floor in the surgery which I can?t imagine being the most hygienic thing to do. Or when he is asleep I will have to wake him, and what if both he and his sister are sleeping? do I really want to wait for my appointment struggling with a sobbing two year old daughter and a crying one year old son, my handbag, and changing bag on the floor or on the seat next to me. All of which, toddler, and baby and baggage have to then be carried into the appointment. I would also like to know what is suggested for mothers who need for example to have their young child with them during say a smear test? Should I leave him to crawl around the floor in the surgery during this?

Parents that I know often rely on being able to entertain a young child or children in a pushchair so that they can speak to their G.P. or nurse for a few minutes uninterrupted. Or the child sleeps on through their appointment and waiting time, and the parent can have a proper conversation or treatment.
I don?t have the option of arranging childcare for the times when I need to come to the surgery, especially as we normally ring at 8 a.m to see what appointment we can get if any for that morning.

I asked about the security of the area that has been designated for pushchairs to be left. As far as the lady I spoke to knew, there is none, it seems that the surgery is relying on the area being ?out of sight.? I disagree anyone walking past will be able to see a row of unsecured pushchairs. Pushchairs cost as I am sure you know an enormous amount of money. We live close by and two of my neighbours have had pushchairs stolen from outside their own front doors in the last six months, and we had a child?s scooter taken ourselves. It was suggested also that I buy a bicycle style lock for our chair, but I can?t see what I would secure it to.

While I can see the need for some sort solution to the congestion in the waiting room, as a result of parents and children who are patients at XXX Surgery using pushchairs, I don?t feel that just telling people their only option is to leave their pushchairs outside, in an unsecured area, and carry in their child or children and changing bags, handbags and who knows even their shopping, is acceptable. In fact I think it?s discriminatory. I have spoken to several mothers today who are patients at XXX, as are their children, and they all agree, and have said they will be putting forward their comments also.

I look forward to your reply and hope that XXX can be a bit more creative in finding a solution that doesn?t leave patients feeling unwelcome.

Thebigjessie I have come up against that exact same scenario in wetherspoons.

AutumnSummers Aiee, I think I'm using your thread! Hope you don't mind!

I'm sure the experiences of people who find it impossible to manage far outweigh the experiences of people, who can cope

Really?

What about all the mothers who only have one child that could easily leave their buggy somewhere else. Or those who have a baby and a toddlerso could cope? All those who are there for something related to their child so aren't in a weaker position at all? Have you read how many people have said on this thread that they have a buggy ban at their surgery and have coped fine?

No, taht was someone else. This happened to me. Being half blind, they seem to think it's more appropriate for me to climb three sets of stairs to use the bathroom rather than the disabled one downstairs. On the way back down, those stairs are a nightmare for me and I've fallen on them twice. The second tme I fell I spoke to bar staff about using a disabled bathroom and they said I needed to prove I wa disabled! You only need to look at my eyes to see that they don't work properly. But apparently I need to carry my VI certificate with me just to use the bathroom in peace.

outraged Should they be trained? Absolutely? Will they be? I doubt it. At the very least, any buggy ban should be accompanied by mandatory training on it.

Bet it won't.

Receptionists are bound by confidentiality, are they? Great. What about the rest of the surrounding waiting room? At my surgery, not only are the other patients close by, but the glass screen between patients and receptionists seems to mean that you have to speak up in order to be heard!

Loose small children, even placid ones that just walk around and around the table quietly counting, are also a tripping hazard. And much harder to gather up and evacuate then they would be if ready strapped in.

Or a woman might think that since it is so much of a nightmare to negotiate her way to the surgery with toddlers and babies in tow and no pushchair, that she wont bother going at the minute as her problem isn't serious enough to warrent the trouble. And then when it gets worse, getting there with the kids will be even harder so she wont be able to go. And then she lands up in hospital, or having a breakdown or a million other possibilities, because she left it so long to seek treatment.

It's not as if I want to drag my baby to the germ infested surgery every time I need to see the Dr or nurse. It's not like I enjoy trying to navigate stairs and curbs and narrow doorways and incosiderate people blocking my path as I struggle with a (very small actually) pram. Maybe it would be more helpful for GP's to look at how they can make their waiting rooms more accessible.

I probably could get to and from the surgery without my pram (and I have actually, but then I only have one baby and it's not that much of a walk, if the weather is decent enough, and the reason I want to see the Dr isn't because my back is hurting or I'm really ill), but why would you want to make my life even more difficult? And why should I have to explain to the receptionist, in full view of the rest of the waiting room, what I am actually there to speak to a Dr about, in private?

This is a waste of time, but:

WHY are so many of you saying "ban them, and then exercise discretion"? Why do you think people are so silly and selfish that they have to be told NO in case they take advantage?

Surely the surgery can just express a preference that, if possible, push chairs are left outside. I would leave mine outside if I could, I am used to folding it up with one foot as well and do not expect the world to work around it if at all avoidable.

If you start with just saying NO and expecting people to argue their case, you are discriminating against those with shy temperaments who don't see every request as containing an implicit "except you, you are Special" (as I now realise some people do).
People with special needs often point out "you don't know what special needs a person has so don't judge". Yes, but I would take that a bit further and say some people, without official special needs, sometimes just need a little extra consideration. You shouldn't have to argue your case. You should just read the sign saying "leave pushchairs outside if possible", work from the assumption that this means you, but if you are shattered, sick, depressed, know you will need to lie down to be examined and have a FINALLY sleeping crawling one-year-old in the pushchair, put your head round the door to assess how much inconvenience it would cause to leave him in there and decide what to do.
And why do so many of you want everyone to suffer? Why would it be so great if that one year old was automatically pulled out, woken up, phsyically prevented from crawling around on the typhus-ridden floor by its exhausted mother while everyone tuts at the screaming, because a book will only work for 10 minutes especially when he is sick and grumpy, and then the examination and consultation is rushed and stressful and perhaps not conclusive? Yes it's all possible but why do so many of you think that would be so bloody marvellous?

Honestly, this time I am leaving mn and I will leave the lot of you to suck your teeth at each other in peace. you pathetic bunch of grumbling petty minded nasties.

AutumnSummers well, I'm definitely never visiting Wetherspoons, now. One incident is bad enough, but it could be a one-off. Two MNers encountering the same problem looks like a general policy of malignancy and general stupidity.

I do see your point, but you are missing the point that surgeries with limited space cannot allow their waiting rooms to be full of pushchairs without it being a hazard and detrimental to other surgery users. That has to be adressed and people other than Mothers deserve consideration.

That's a bit extreme vessie! We are talking about pushchairs not nuclear warfare!

I'm suggesting a ban in conjunction with discresion because unfortunately too many people are selfish and entitled, and will convince themselves that they have a genuine need for their buggy when in fact they just want the convenience.

Easilybored, an elderly person with limited mobility and vision may be able to navigate safely around six pushchairs in a waiting room, but why would you want to make their lives more difficult?

They will have to cope for the rest of their lives,you will only have small children for a few years.

outraged Unless you are suggesting that the six pushchairs and contents are left outside the waiting room, I don't think it's necessarily going to be a win for elderly patients visiting the surgery.

glad my drs surgery doesnt have this rule! as it would be a nightmare.

lol at lying the baby on the floor, two of mine were crawling at 5/6mths and pretty much starting to pull up and climb within a month or two of crawling, so yes i would just lie them on the floor whilst i was examined and they would crawl off and try to get at the bright yellow sharps bin that sits in the corner of the room, very exciting looking to a small mobile baby!

i have a dp that does shift work and drs appointments can only be made by phoning in at 8am that day so today for example ds1 and ds2 needed to see the dr, as it was dp was actually at home, had he not been i would have had to take all 5 children, including 16mth old dd who is just walking but at the tottery, half crawl/walk stage and a just 4 yr old who is also full of cold and miserable.

now the elder three would sit nicely, ds4 will do as long i read him a book etc, but dd, if she is not in her pushchair she wants to be down ont he floor, if she is int he pushchair i can generally keep her entertained and am then also able to deal with the other children, but holding a wriggling screaming baby and dealing with other children and seeing the dr for either myself or one of them without a pushchair?!!

the main reason i see my gp is actually for my eczema, which frequently means stripping off so i need the pushchair to restrain baby/toddler whilst i do so, i have no idea where all these surgeries are with staff members who will entertain or hold your children for you? last time i went i had left ds1 at home, but took no 2, 3, 4 and 5 with me, i decided that ds2 and ds3 who are 9 and 7 yr could stay in the waiting room whilst i went in as it was a personal issue, they sat quietly reading books and were VERY well behaved as they knew they had to be (2 other patients told me how good they were when i came out) i was then called over by the receptionist and TOLD OFF for leaving my children unsupervised in the waiting room!!

i get an appointment when the drs surgery has one free, so this morning we phoned at 8am and they gave us an app for 30 mins later, its a good job we were A up and out of bed and B dp was around, otherwise i would have had to get myself and 5 kids all sorted, dressed etc and out the house within 20mins, as it was fortunately dp was here so he took the elder two whilst i stayed home with the others, but that was a rare fluke!

i am so sick of all the top trumps YES a wheelchair is OFCOURSE more important than a pram, but WHY is ok to make the lives of WOMEN more difficult and it is WOMEN on the whole!! who are doing hte baby/toddler wrangling and trying to get on with life, most of us dont want to take babies/toddlers to the drs unless we have to, but its life and yes some could probably struggle through andmanage without a pushchair sometiems, but not everyone can and i dont see why i should explain to the receptionist that actually i have spd so cant carry my 16mth lump of a toddler for long as it hurts or that fact taht actually my skin is crap and i need to strip off and i need the pushchair to restrain the toddler whilst i do that.

its hard enough getting a sodding appoinment without the extra hastle of dealing with toddlers nad babies and children, hell anyone would think mothers were going to the drs for FUN, that we like the jolly jaunt out nad play a game 'how many people can i piss of with my pushchair and kids today' when actually we are just trying to get on with life, most of us try to be considerate to others, perhaps people could try to be considerate to mothers as well?

jessie I stopped going after that. Not in protests but because I felt publicly humiliated and don't want to put myself in that spot again. Disabilitism is common as muck and I encounter ome form of it very regulary. I hope to one day be in a position to help to change this. My first idea is to try to do a disability talk at DD1' school but I'd feel a bit vulnerable doing that just now. I need a bit more self confidece and don't want to rish anyone making fun of DD cause her Mum is a .

Totally agree with your post 5madthings

vez good post.

*encounter one form of it or another

Vezzie and 5madthings, I agree with you, a couple of posts have left me .

Bigjoeeut i agree, shocked indeed at some posts.

I think that "mother" has come to be identified with "fit, able-bodied, confident upper-middle class woman with one neurotypical PFB, with no additional needs." They probably live in Kensington, and have Bugaboos.

"Mothers" do not ever have disabilities of their own, or even long-term health conditions. That is the Lore.

As such, disabled women with children become prey to self-appointed gatekeepers, whose mission it is to protect disabled facilities and concessions from being used by fit interlopers.

Just as happens with supermarket disabled parking, as well. The able-bodied intimidate those with invisible disabilities attempting to park, and walk away feeling proud of themselves for having struck a blow "for the disabled".

Agree with vezzie

Also am going to copy and paste a post i wrote on the, 'aren't women pathetic for likeing their dh's help at bathtime thread'

'Blimey there is an awful lot of, competitive, I can bath 5 tiny dcs, whilst holding them in a drs waiting room, then we all get onto a bus and balance on one seat and they all sit quietly oh and did i mention I do it all on my own, so why can't everyone else - type posts on mumsnet at the moment.

I think we could all be a bit kinder too each other, and realise we are all different people with different lives and different ways of coping and doing stuff.

Or would mumsnet implode if this happened?!'

Mumsnet seems a bit cutthroat at the moment.

Hazeyjane, I even encountered it on a pushchair thread this week (of all places). Apparently the fact I want a double buggy for a 2.5 year old is a bit mad because I only live a 30 minute bus ride away from town and have a car at the weekends, whereas she had a one hour ride and no car when her kids were little.

How this was relevant to the fact I wanted to know where to get a buggy that would be more comfortable for a tall toddler (having asked NO questions about whether I should or should not purchase said buggy) was beyond me. How it is at all relevant to me that someone else had a longer bus ride to town many years ago also makes no sense to me.

Another thread consisted of various posters boasting of having trained their offspring at 18months old in response to a mother of a four year old pooh-refuser. Relevance? Isn't that just like saying "oh but I am SO much better than you, if you were half as good as me you wouldn't be in the mess you are now?".

I don't like this competitive "oh but I have/had it SO much worse than you AND I didn't even complain AND I pulled the whole thing off with so much more panache and finesse than you could ever manage, you dozey incompetent mare!" mentality that seems to be around. It just seems there are a lot of very angry people about who will pick a fight about the most inane of things just to trumpet their own self-perception of their superiority as mothers.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos

Ah...crap!
Have just read it back.
That of course should be:- I'm sure the experiences of people who find it impossible to manage are far outweighed by the experiences of people who can cope.

That's what happens when you leave something and come back to it.

I wondered if that might be the case! No problem

5 mad children-why can't your older DC hold the little ones in the consultation room?