To DIE inside when DS misbehaves somewhere and worry that others are judging me?

[slatternlymother]

DS is 18mo and reaching that charming age where tiny things send him into a tailspin and "no" is his favourite word.

Today, we were at an Easter party where you could meet the Easter Bunny and he was fine until it just got a bit much. I was late with giving him a snack and he was starving because we'd had lunch really early and tbh I just dropped the ball a bit and forgot.

Anyway, cue massive rolling on the floor style tantrum, with me trying to move things out of his thrashing trajectory. I just wanted to DIE. I felt like everyone was watching me and judging me on how I dealt with it and thinking 'why can't she keep him under control?'

He's normally such a placid, quiet chap and I HATE seeing him turn into this raging monster. I'm still blushing inside. [bublush]

I feel the same BUT I wouldn't judge you AT ALL especially with an 18m old (I have one too as well as a 5 year old).

Happens to everyone, cheer up, have a and

Aww he's only 18 months old though and I'm sure you'll learn from it so he doesn't get over hungry again.

It's funny how 'NO' is their favourite word until they hear someone else saying it, isn't it?

tbh i dont give a monkeys who judges me

its more their problem than mine

It was like the other week when we were out at a park and DS would not hold DH's hand (it was really crowded) and he snatched it away, cried 'no!' and sulked.

DH said to him 'if you do that again, I will get very cross with you and put you in a time out/whatever right here'. People were just staring, DH wasn't shouting and DS wasn't being noisy. I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

Is my DS just really outrageously naughty?

I was once told some wise words... 90% of the population has been a parent.

Don't let it worry you. I'd only smile at you pleased mine have gone through that stage.

tis very handy when they do it in the supermarket, the aisles clear around you and you can race round.

Don't worry,as he gets older you'll learn to do what the rest of us do (suddenly catch something out of the corner of your eye,and look away so you don't notice his misbehaviour)

He's only 18 months old, so not really "misbehaving" at all.

Besides they are all looking at me and judging my 4 yr old DS who is loudly "shooting" people and shouting "poo bum pants".

Do you put your 18 month old into time out?

I suspect most parents are just thinking ' phew, not just mine who are like that then..'. I know I do

If he's done something naughty like stuck his fingers in a plug socket or whatever then he has to sit somewhere quietly for a minute, yes. [busmile]

He sounds like a classic 18 month old and I'm sure you are not being judged on his behaviour - unless it is by people whose judgement is not worth bothering about! But I am a tad surprised you put an 18 month old in time out. He's not so much "naughty" as "enquiring" at this age.

It's easy to say, but don't worry about it - we've all been there - some of us more than others [bublush] [busmile]

The people watching were probably thinking "thank God it's not my child" or feeling relieved that they are not the only people who have had to deal with a child being difficult!

Be careful with 'timeout'.

Dd (18m) gets put in her travelcot if she repeatedly touches wires and/or climbs on the windowsill but only after three million warnings and tbh I'm not sure she 'gets' it.

I don't use it for anything else. I don't punish her for anything really and believe me she is a handful. I thought ds was but she is just on a whole other level, she is hyper to the end and in to everything and HATES being helped to do anything.

They're only babies save your shame for when they're still being a pain in the arse at 5

Honestly, and this is meant without any judgement, because I used to be the same; if you're looking to him to validate you, and basing your happiness and comfort on how he behaves you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of unhappiness and conditional love. Give both of you a break.

At the moment, the timeout thing seems to work for us; he rarely repeats a dangerous action. But thank you for the advice [busmile]

Do you knowpost, I think you've hit the nail on the head. I do do that.

:) and you know, people are going to be judging you, because that's what people do. There is nothing you can do about it. Someone will be judging you for
Being too strict
Being too lenient
Being uptight about food
Giving your ds greggs sausage rolls
Letting yourself go
Being too worried about what you look like

Etc, etc. It has nothing to do with you!

I see nothing wrong with timeout at this age, As long as it's not in the extreme. As for people judging you, Trust me most of us are simply thinking

"Thank goodness that's not me!" :o, Not "Bad parent"

Anyone who has children understands. At least you have learned from the experience. Always have an emergency snack in your bag!

Whenever I see a child tantrumming, I give the parent a sympathetic look and thank god it's not one of my kids for a change.

No judging at all here

I wouldn't be judging for the actual crying part but I do admittedly judge parents who don't remove their children when they should.

Dolcequsto, me too [busmile]

DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT

we saw a very small toddler run out of the shop into traffic.... we were just not quick enough to recognise what was going on and missed the opportunity to grab her as she sprinted past.

her mother was on the phone, turned round and she had legged it. she chased the child down and grabbed her before any harm came to her.

we didnt judge the mother, we were cross with ourselves that we didnt see what was happening before she made it out of the shop.

I would agree with dolce and purple, people are more likely to be thinking 'thank god it isn't mine this time'.

DS3 has asd and he uses and sn pushchair, he is 5 but about the size of a seven year old. Mentally he is only about 2. A few months ago he went mental in the supermarket because I had said no to a toy, cue lots of stares and tuts! One woman turned round and said in full voice, 'he is a far to big to be in that, no wonder he is screaming, treating him like a baby' very unlike me I replied, 'he is disabled, and 5! He can't talk so screaming is the only way he can communicate!' Needless to say she went very red and apologised, to which someone else turned to her and said 'that will teach you to judge people' and smiled at me. I was shaking, I never speak up, I would normally just walk out.

I never judge now. Well that isn't quite true, in tescos the other day there was a little girl screaming, not for anything to be honest she seemed very distressed, like she was in pain and the adult with her was ignoring her, I must admit I did judge that one

DS1 threw the most amazing tantrum in John Lewis at a similar age. I just wanted the ground to open up! Then a lovely lady came up to me, and started chatting about how her son used to tantrum etc. We had a lovely chat, whilst watching DS roll around on the floor. After a bit, he got up, stopped crying. My attitude changed after that, I realised it was nothing to be embarrassed about.

Mind you, DS1 could literally tantrum for England. He would start in the afternoon, go to sleep in the evening, and wake up still in the same tantrum!