to LOVE my DH husband for this retort?

[SpamMarie]

While I was out this morning, my DH was out the back, hanging up the washing when a gentleman and lady come walking over, bible in hand, asking if they can leave some leaflets. The man jokingly says, 'I can see you're busy doing the women's work, but could I leave this leaflet with you?' 'No thanks,' says DH, 'if that's your attitude towards sexual equality, I'm not sure there's much you can teach me.' And off they trotted.

I love my fast-thinking, clothes-hanging DH.

The woman had the decency to look embarassed on behalf of the man. Seriously though, if you're going door to door trying to convince strangers to convert to your own particular brand of morality, AIBU to think you should do your best to not come off as a sexist, outdated fool?

I think it was a great thing to say.

And, as a Christian, I think it IS important that the Church's outdated opinions get challenged.

I am C of E, and our diocese has a Bishop who does not agree with women priests and AFAIK will not ordain them.

Churches are constantly under pressure to increase revenue, and to increase revenue you need more people to come to church. Particularly younger people.

When I mention that to other members of our little parish church that most younger people are in favour of sexual equality, and may not want to join a church which [in our area] is so blatantly NOT in favour of sexual equality, and that this is one of the reasons for the lack of new members, the response is usually a helpless shrug.*

The evangelist in question was probably a kindly old duffer and would not have taken great offence in any case - I'd guess he's had a LOT worse said to him.

(* I don't know what our Bishop's view on homosexual marriages/priests/Bishops is but I'd say the same applies - the younger population in general dislikes homophobia and will shrink from an organisation which does not challenge it.)

"I don't know what our Bishop's view on homosexual marriages/priests/Bishops is but I'd say the same applies " - I just realise that reads that I am guessing his opinions are the same, but that's not what I meant to convey at all.

I meant to say that the same principle applies with the general faffing about this issue within the church, as it does with the issue of women priests/bishops in the church - that people outside the church find it abhorrent and are put off the church because of it.

My FIL was one of the gentlest, kindest men I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. He was typical of his era though, and years and years of stereo-typical upbringing meant that he too had views on the 'man and woman's role'.

I could never imagine him hanging out any washing or polishing the brass for my MIL, but hell would freeze over before he allowed her to carry heavy bags, or climb a ladder to clean windows or mow the lawn.

"piece of dirt" and such comments leave me shaking my head in disbelief. That you could judge a man on a single quip is incredible.

Jeez. I am astounded by the responses on this thread. The DH was quick-witted and actually made a good point. If you are going house-to-house effectively marketing your religion, you have to accept that everything you say or do will reflect said religion. Sexism is a point that's argued about in a lot of religions at the moment, be it christianity, JW or mormonism, so the DH's retort wasn't unreasonable.
And the OP's comment about being blessed was clearly a joke!

What a fast thinking, clever and helpful dh you have SpamMarie, he sounds wonderful. If I got to sit on my fat ass and watch someone else kill themself trying to do everything LittleEsmeWeatherwax I'd be kind and gentle too [buhmm]

I think the point LEWW was trying to make was that her FIL didn't expect his wife to do everything. He did what he regarded as man's work and she did women's work. Whish is an out of date and sexist approach, but one that millions of couples followed happily. And millions were unhappy about.
My grandparents certainly followed that model for over 60 years. He never cooked, she never had to lift anything heavier than a child, or do anything involving DIY, cars or gardening other than cutting flowers. They liked it that way.

In fact my grandmother got to sit on her fat arse considerably more than my grandfather. Plus he used to get up and make the fires up so she didn't have to wake up in a cold house, and bring her breakfast in bed at the weekend.

Well done, OP's DH. If it was a joke, apart from being sexist, it wasn't particularly amusing and in certain circumstances might have been entirely inappropriate. He was a complete stranger; he didn't even know if there was a woman in the household. What if he had said that to someone recently widowed or whose partner had just left him.

Sprogged, you've chosen bits of my post and not read the whole point I was trying to make.

"fat ass"?

Nice work.

Fallen, that's exactly the point I was making.

But there are so many venomous responses to this man's single quip; some banging on about equality and sexism - some of you are never going to have the moral high ground that you imagine yourselves on.

I don't know why, but this thread is leaving a bitter taste with me.

I like it! Witty and to the point without being rude. Rock on, DH!

I often think of witty retorts but it's usually 2 days later in bed and I leap out, thinking "aha!" and then reality hits. Dork alert!

'tis always the way with the Righteous.
The fact that someone may have worked out a way of living with someone they love that is organised along gender-differentiated roles but leaves both happy and satisfied and feeling appreciated. But to those of Vision, it is sexist and oppressive.
because it is not their choice and therefore must be wrong.

cicily excellent point actually. I am LP and would be have been quite annoyed and offended in the past even with men jokingly praising me for being good at fixing the car/DIY etc. It's the undertone of surprise that I can that offends me!

I'm all for division of labour. It means that each one knows what they are supposed to be doing and there are less arguments about who did what and when.

Just not happy about what is "men's" or "women's" jobs.

My dad has very rarely cooked let alone do the laundry. Yet he goes food shopping and lifts the table, then put away washed dishes from the machine. Plus he drives my mum everywhere as well as DGC and DC if necessary. They have a cleaner.
I don't think I ever heard the term woman's job at home.

My grandfather was pretty much the same, except he liked cooking for his friends.

None of them sat on their arses all day.

Marie I agree that you are blessed .. Can I borrow your husband ??

I'm not happy about anyone peddling their religion door to door , so I'm with your DP on this one .

The other bloke sounded like he belonged in the 1950s .

It was probably one of the politer rejections he heard that day.

Brilliant reply. Thank fuck there are men who are willing to challenge sexism.

Op- Well done to your dh, great response.
Cat's bum face to all those who are slagging him off too!

You've got to love MN for the truly bonkers posters!!
Fantastic!

I think it was a brilliant retort.

LittleEsme - God Forbid people bang on about equality and sexism. I mean, people might actually think women are human too.

LittleEsmeWeatherwax I did read your post, and took it to mean your kind, gentle fil would then never do the vacuuming, laundry, ironing, bathe children, cooking, cleaning, dusting, scrubbing bath, washing toilet, putting laundry/toys/shopping away, changing any nappies let alone the explosive up the back down the legs pooey ones and all the other time consuming, brain numbing thankless tasks that need doing 2 and 3 days later again anyway and simply get dismissed as womans work. Yes, I know they need doing, no, I'm not complaining that I have a nice home and happy family, but it's 2012, I can't afford not to work for a living, I can't afford a cleaner (or I'd have one like a shot) and men that have actually cottoned onto this are actually wonderful. As Martin Amis says, women don't get to have it all, we just get to do it all.

You make an awful lot of assumptions from my one brief sentence, Sprogged.

I agree with Sprogged

It was a pretty loaded sentence.