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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this was rude?

94 replies

Fuzzyblanket · 07/04/2012 13:49

We were at a gallery today when DS (2) started crying. Not full on screaming, not just a winge, but somewhere between the two. We were in a corridor. A member of staff walked past with her fingers pressed rightly over her ears. It wasn't a jokey, wink wink kind of thing, she walked as far away from us as possible and didn't make eye contact. She had her badge, radio etc so I could tell she was staff. I looked at her as she was walking past and she kind of smirked to herself.

For some reason I found this really annoying. AIBU? I know the sound of a child crying can be extremely irritating. But wasn't this reaction pretty rude/unprofessional? Surely it isn't the best idea to work in a child friendly public place if you can't tolerate children crying for 30 seconds? But maybe there is some reason for her behaviour that I'm not aware of...

OP posts:

mellowcat · 07/04/2012 13:50

Yes it was rude.

bunnygirl1976 · 07/04/2012 13:50

Maybe she had a headache. Or a crying child at home.

Fairly rude though when she is in a customer facing role.

RachelWalsh · 07/04/2012 13:50

Yep, that's rude and childish and weird too.

scurryfunge · 07/04/2012 13:52

Maybe she works at a gallery because she is intolerant to noise and they are generally quiet places.

Sparklingbunnyears · 07/04/2012 13:52

I think it was rude.

Perhaps she had very sensitive hearing or something.

lurkinginthebackground · 07/04/2012 13:54

She was rude YANBU.

winnybella · 07/04/2012 13:56

Yes, she was rude.

But I'm not sure gallery is the best place to take a toddler to, tbh.

JustHecate · 07/04/2012 13:56

My sons would do this. They have autism and noise is really painful for them. Perhaps that could be it? They would keep away and not make eye contact either.

Or maybe she was rude

Or perhaps she did think she was being pant-wettingly funny.

MickyDodger · 07/04/2012 13:57

She didn't say anything to you, look at you, or talk to you, and you're annoyed at her moving parts of her body around as she passed by you?
Self-involved much? Maybe she has hearing problems, or a migraine, or a million other reasons....she did absolutely nothing to you at all.

Some people would get offended in an empty room.

SydSaid · 07/04/2012 14:04

Maybe she had an earpiece in and was trying to listen?

LaurieFairyCake · 07/04/2012 14:04

Not rude. I'd have done the same. I can't bear the sound of children screaming, goes right through me. I'm allowed to protect my ears, right?

What would be rude is if she said anything, the 'smirk' was likely a rueful smile - again I'd have done the same. The half smile is meant to say 'sorry, I know it's not your fault, not getting at you'.

The problem is that you are over identifying with your child and it's noise. It's not YOUR fault

joanna2012 · 07/04/2012 14:14

why would a 2 year old want to go to a gallery

was probably bored stupid, no wonder it was whinying

bunnygirl1976 · 07/04/2012 14:16

Yes - because once you have children you are only allowed to go to softplay centres

kumquatsarethelonelyfruit · 07/04/2012 14:18

Asbergers?

DinahMoHum · 07/04/2012 14:18

it was rude, but there could have been other reasons for it. I wouldnt give it too much thought

winnybella · 07/04/2012 14:21

Well, bunny- an art gallery is a place to contemplate art, which is easier to do in relative silence. It's for adults and/or older children i.e. people who are able to appreciate it and who also can mange to stay quiet for the duration of their visit so as not to disturb others.

confusedpixie · 07/04/2012 14:21

I was going to say the say as Laurie, the smirk was likely a smile. I smile at people with children having tantrums because I know what it's like to try calm a child down in a public place and having loads of people giving you funny looks. I'd rather have a smile tbh.

winnybella · 07/04/2012 14:22

OP said it was a child-friendly place, though, so perhaps it was kids' museum or something.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 07/04/2012 14:23

Of course an Art Gallery is also a place for children (even small ones).

Maybe she was rude, maybe she has an ear/head/other problem with noise - either way, don't give it another thought.

exoticfruits · 07/04/2012 14:24

I would just ignore-it didn't really matter.

bunnygirl1976 · 07/04/2012 14:26

Winny - art galleries are for everyone. Including 2 year olds and the parents of 2 year olds

winnybella · 07/04/2012 14:29

Well, Chipping, I'm not for banishing toddlers from art galleries, but they will not be able to appreciate the art and are likely to make some noise.

Same as cinema- there is no point taking toddlers to see films before they are able to sit through them in silence and not disturb others.

I would be pissed off if I went to an art gallery and had to listen to a screaming toddler.

But if parents manage to quiet them down quickly or leave, fair enough.

winnybella · 07/04/2012 14:30

I was rather disputing OP's assertion that an art gallery is a child-friendly place.

Zoo is a child-friendly place, for example.

winnybella · 07/04/2012 14:32

I mean, would you take a toddler to an opera or classical music concert? You could argue that it's for 2 yos as well.

bunnygirl1976 · 07/04/2012 14:32

A lot of galleries promote themselves a being child friendly

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