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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this was rude?

94 replies

Fuzzyblanket · 07/04/2012 13:49

We were at a gallery today when DS (2) started crying. Not full on screaming, not just a winge, but somewhere between the two. We were in a corridor. A member of staff walked past with her fingers pressed rightly over her ears. It wasn't a jokey, wink wink kind of thing, she walked as far away from us as possible and didn't make eye contact. She had her badge, radio etc so I could tell she was staff. I looked at her as she was walking past and she kind of smirked to herself.

For some reason I found this really annoying. AIBU? I know the sound of a child crying can be extremely irritating. But wasn't this reaction pretty rude/unprofessional? Surely it isn't the best idea to work in a child friendly public place if you can't tolerate children crying for 30 seconds? But maybe there is some reason for her behaviour that I'm not aware of...

OP posts:

ragged · 07/04/2012 18:43

I think taking it too seriously about fingers in ears. Maybe she had a terrible headache or nasty morning sickness & just couldn't take one more thing. No biggie.

AwkwardMaryHadAnEasterLamb · 07/04/2012 18:49

worra it was still rude! The woman is a staff member...you're not meant to show your displeasure at customers' children. You're not... no matter what people say...it's bad form.

Goldenbear · 07/04/2012 20:23

Well I'm very sorry but other people have to get the fuck over themselves if they think I'm going to plan every trip with my toddler and 4 year old based on their noise sensitivity. These are public places that the general public can go to and I hate to inform the ignorant our there but children are actually people to, yes they really are!

I took my 1 year old and 4 year old to a gallery/museum yesterday. They both appreciated the space and the exhibits. Yes imagine that, you read right the sense of space was what my 1 year old enjoyed the most as she has just started walking. I am so pleased that she had such a good time!

YANBU OP

MummytoKatie · 07/04/2012 20:31

Breastfeeding? At one point a single cry from another young child would give me a wet top.

Probably not but not impossible......

MickyDodger · 07/04/2012 21:01

So you want to bring your children everywhere, let them cry and make noise, expect to be welcome everywhere, AND nobody is allowed to make the slightest show that they are affected by it?

You don't think perhaps you've gone just a little far there? You want to control peoples bodily movements so as to not offend you and your pfb?

Bloody hell. It's the land of little emperors.

MrsBeakman · 07/04/2012 21:13

I think that it's fine to take toddlers to a gallery, but that humans are designed to find the sound of a crying baby very uncomfortable and to want to put a stop to it asap. If you are the parent then you can probably do that, or at least try to do something about it, but if you are not the parent then you don't have that option so it is difficult to hear.

DustyDen · 08/04/2012 14:27

Goldenbear - you don't have to plan your day based on my noise sensitivity; you just have to accept I'll probably put my fingers in my ears and/or move away. That's all.

Floggingmolly · 08/04/2012 14:39

Or possibly have the grace to move away yourself, Goldenbear? Your sense of entitlement is enormous.

Birdsgottafly · 08/04/2012 14:57

My mum has to cover her hearing aids if a child screams, or a teenage girl, for that matter, the same with sirens. She has to get her ears flushed, every now and again and this makes then sensitive, also.

Unless the reaction is verbal, then it should be ignored.

You will walk around feeling permanently pissed off, if you don't develop the ability to ignore the actions of others.

insancerre · 08/04/2012 15:04

YABU to even bother to post this thread.
Who cares what the assistand did/didn't do?
It is highly likely that she had an earpiece in and had to cover her ears to hear over the screaming.

Goldenbear · 08/04/2012 19:30

I think it looks rude to do so but I wouldn't be bothered if someone put their hands over their ears because of my child's screaming, which is not what occurred when I took my 1 year old and 4 year old to the museum/gallery on Saturday. My DC were just walking around like fellow adult visitors.

Of course if my DD was screaming with tiredness I would leave. I do not have an enormous sense of entitlement, please explain in what way flogging? I am just living my life and refuse to apologise for the existence of my children. It is important to my DP that DS is exposed to a bit more than soft play and the park. DS is nearly 5 and he does enjoy these trips. Obviously we're bringing DD along with us and no we don't see the harm in this if she is just walking around and seemingly enjoying it- definitely not at the expense of others enjoyment!

EmilyPollifaxInnocentTourist · 08/04/2012 19:38

It could have been rude or it could have been someone with sensitive hearing.

It's hard to say without actually being there. So best to just forget about it.

And, art galleries and museums are great places for small kids. Someone else's 7 year old took MIL on a tour of an exhibit yesterday. Took nearly an hour. I can not tell you how much I appreciated that child.

EgguStudent · 08/04/2012 22:52

Yes to small children in art galleries. In fact, it's almost the topic of my dissertation. I can point you towards some peer-reviewed, highly respected research demonstrating what children gain from being in art galleries if you like [bugrin]

ChocolatyClare · 08/04/2012 23:01

If someone in a public facing role is incapable of dealing with all ages and manners of customers then they should look for another job. Or seek urgent help for their overly sensitive natures/ears.

YANBU OP.

DustyDen · 08/04/2012 23:11

Blimey, Clare, that is a lot of ignorance of other people's medical conditions... are you my mother?

Kladdkaka · 08/04/2012 23:12

If someone in a public facing role is incapable of dealing with all ages and manners of customers then they should look for another job. Or seek urgent help for their overly sensitive natures/ears.

So people with hearing problems shouldn't have the same opportunities as others? EG an autistic person with a passion for art can never work in a gallery just in case they have to cover their ears and quietly remove themselves from the room if there is a screaming toddler.

ChocolatyClare · 08/04/2012 23:14

The toddler wasn't screaming.

Dawndonna · 08/04/2012 23:18

Perhaps Clare, they went into the job thinking it would generally be a quiet role. As somebody else on another thread said today: The problem with having special needs in the family is other people.
Think she meant you.

AllotmentLottie · 08/04/2012 23:20

I currently have an ear infection and children crying, talking loudly or screaming is extremely painful. I would try not to cause offence, but if I thought no-one was looking I would certainly cover my ears!

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