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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this woman should have taken her children to the bathroom

82 replies

laughlovelife · 07/04/2012 12:53

At a soft play yesterday, and a woman has a portable potty for her DC, who were doing a wee/poo, in a place that serves food in the sitting area!

Dh didn't know where to look at the children (both about 3 and 4) were getting stripped off at the bottom, not because he finds hes a pervert, but because he found it uncomfortable, as he was in front of the table, and he could see everything, even when the woman was wiping the children's bottoms.

we moved table in the end, as we we ordered food, and didn't want to have a eyeful off poo. (which she then took to the ladies to empty)

I have a portable potty, however wouldnt dream of doing something like this.

Dh ended up saying something to the food assistant, as we were leaving.

OP posts:
DPrince · 07/04/2012 15:09

Got to agree with purple. Its grim. Not wanting to look does not mean you have issues.

MrsBeakman · 07/04/2012 15:39

Revolting and unnecessary.

Floggingmolly · 07/04/2012 15:43

That's vile. I would have complained to the cafe staff though, it has to breach their food hygiene rules having someone shit in the bloody cafe!!!!
I would have huge "issues" about this too, and I don't think I need therapy, dame hermione. Do you do this too, and tell all horrified onlookers they have issues?

DesperatelySeekingBunnies · 07/04/2012 15:52

Yuck! That would put me right off my overpriced portion of chips! WTAF is wrong with some people?! 3 and 4 year olds are plenty old enough to get to the toilet in time if you're in a cafe/soft play.

I'll admit that my 4 year olds gone for a wee behind the bushes at the park waaaaay down the back where no one can see but I've never/will never let her do something so foul as crap at the dinner table!

Cherriesarelovely · 07/04/2012 15:58

UGH, that is grim. Glad your DH mentioned it to the staff. I have a (actually lovely in all other respects) friend who does similar things to this - she once tried to change her wriggling toddlers nappy as he was standing up clambering between the chairs in a crowded cafe. It was excruciating! I couldn't stop myself from hissing "WHY are you doing that HERE? Please take him to the toilet!!!" She thought i was making a huge fuss about nothing but the other customers were really aghast, poor things. I only went out with her on her own for a while after that!

DesperatelySeekingBunnies · 07/04/2012 16:38

God that's vile Cherriesarnie.

Reminds me of a now ex friend of my sister who lets her DD who's about 5 pee anywhere she likes. So while my DD who's 4 would die of shame if I made her wee where other people could see her, this little girl will squat down by the slide in the park and do it there while her mum carries on talking to whoever. Or the time we all went to the beach and instead of taking her DD off towards the sand dunes out of sight of others this woman let her DD piss 2 feet away from where we were eating lunch. Delightful. [buhmm]

DesperatelySeekingBunnies · 07/04/2012 16:39

Cherriesarnie? [bublush] cherriesarelovely what the fuck is wrong with me?! get thee to a specsavers!

OTTMummA · 07/04/2012 16:49

I don't think the op or her dh have ishoos, i think they were not expecting to see half naked toddlers in a play centre cafe, and therefore felt a bit shocked and didn't know how to take it, what with them being right infront of them.

If you go to the beach you expect to see half or full naked children running about and you don't feel suprised by it, you don't generally have half naked children running about a soft play centre cafe.

rushelle · 07/04/2012 17:06

3 and 4 year olds go to the loo by themselves in nursery and reception at school and shouldn't even be using a potty, It is totally gross to let your child have a shit where people are eating food, I wouldn't know where to look either- so to say the OP has issues is bloody ridiculous. These days a lot of dads are so bloody worried about being accused of being perverts that they genuinely don't know what the appropriate response is anymore. So I'm Not Surprised OP DH didn't know what to do with himself.

bobbledunk · 07/04/2012 18:18

That's disgusting, I can't believe she wasn't kicked out. Even worse that nobody said anything to her, my first response would have been to loudly challenge her in front of everybody. I also would have told her children that you don't do that in public because it is disgusting, somebody has to. Filthy people should not be allow to endanger public health by mixing shit in public food areas.

Is this for real? I've met a lot of vile people but never filthbags like this.

featherbag · 07/04/2012 18:24

My 4yo niece would refuse point blank to use a potty at all, let alone in front of others! She even makes me stand at the door of the bathroom and pretend I can't see her until I'm summoned to wipe her bum

SuePurblybiltFromChocolate · 07/04/2012 18:28

Skinny - I have been informed that for a loose poo (as in a rogue escapee) they have to clear the pool and restrict access. Ditto puke, one assumes. Wees/wet leakage/small pukes/drool etc go unchecked. And of course they only know if someone reports......
Then they take the balls out for a deep clean once in a while, and find menny, menny fossilised toddler turds.

There was someone on MN who worked in a softplay and had tons of horror stories Grin

MickyDodger · 07/04/2012 18:47

Of course they have issues, if you see half naked toddlers and immediately think perverts, there is something very wrong with that. Hmm

SkinnyVanillaLatte · 07/04/2012 18:49

Sue,do you ever wish you hadn't asked something? [bugrin]

SuePurblybiltFromChocolate · 07/04/2012 18:53

I know. You can't un-know it.
Luckily mine is past the ball pool stage.

SkinnyVanillaLatte · 07/04/2012 18:55

Mine are now you've told me that Sue [bugrin]

Floggingmolly · 07/04/2012 18:58

The issue isn't with half naked toddlers Mickey, it's half naked toddlers having a crap in the middle of a cafe where people are eating. That and that alone is the issue.

MickyDodger · 07/04/2012 19:28

Yes, thats my point, you've just agreed with me. Hmm

The issue for normal people: there are small people shitting where I eat.
Issue for odd folk like OP and her man: NAKED toddlers! I'm not a pervert,honest I'm not, I don't know where to look, how inapproprate to see the genitals of children . Oh and look they are pooing too, thats awful.

Original poster
laughlovelife · 08/04/2012 08:33

Micky, I think your are being idiotic, my self or my dh do NOT have issues, in places were it normal to see children naked etc... would be fine, no issues at all, however dh didn't know where to put himself, as he could literally see the everything and he couldn't divert his attention elsewhere, so he looked down at the table, dad's cant even buy little girls underwear, without getting raised eyebrows, I personally found it uncomfortable, the whole thing was just odd.

And I am not the only one, everyone we have spoken to, and some on here to agree, we dont have a problem with nakedness in general, however my husband doesn't really want to see a arse full of poo and a 4 year old crack, right in front of him, especially when he only has boys, he found it uncomfortable, as did I and many others.

I fond it odd, that people dont find it odd, there is places where it is the social norm, or acceptable to see children naked, however this wasn't, People have a right to not want to see children naked, without them being told they have issues. My issues wasn't with the nakedness really, as I said in my OP dh found it uncomfortable, due to his position, not because he found issues with nakedness.

Unfortunately in this day and age, some people would make assumptions, and yell pervert, at the slightest opportunity.

OP posts:
cookcleanerchaufferetc · 08/04/2012 08:37

The mum was skanky. End of story.

Feenie · 08/04/2012 08:39

dad's cant even buy little girls underwear, without getting raised eyebrows

Which shops are we charging the raised eyebrows with? Hmm

Original poster
laughlovelife · 08/04/2012 08:46

dad a security risk due to buying his child underwear Their was a big thread on here about it, and some men said they couldn't do right for wrong. Was on the news also.

OP posts:
marathonrunner · 08/04/2012 08:48

YANBU!! That is so gross, that woman is a right skank. If she had to empty the potty everytime then she should have been taking the child to the toilet. IMO, the 4 year old should have been toilet trained anyway but that's another matter.

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 08/04/2012 08:56

That's disgusting! Understandable to an extent If the kid was like two and had only just started training but at three and four there's no reason they couldn't have just used the toilet. How the heck do u fit a four yr old on a potty anyway?????

lazylula · 08/04/2012 09:09

Ds2 went through a stage where he would only use his potty from home so I used to have to carry it around with me but in a softplay area I would have tried to get him to use the toilet and if no joy then as a last resort used the potty but in the toilet area NOT in the soft play area. Nakedness wouldn't have bothered but yanbu about the potty thing.

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