To think my neighbours are all freaks and we are the normal ones?

[AwkwardMary]

Basically we live in a nice area...villagey cross suburb so semi rural.

DD is 7...I let her play out in front of the house as we live in a quiet cul de sac and there is hardly any traffic. She is the only child allowed out apart from a small gang of boys aged 11 plus.

There is an 8 year old girl over the road who is never outside alone, and a couple of boys aged about 7 or 8 at the end of the road who are also never out alone.

Because the cul de sac leads to a mainish road, my DD can't really leave the street...she's only 7 and I feel that's a bit too dodgy...but it's a real shame the local kids n the cul de sac aren't out playing too.

My other DD is only 4 so too young to tear about alone with the older one (can't quite trust older DD to look out for herself and her sister yet)

Ok...yes, I can arrange playdates but it's so not the same as having local friends who you play out with casually. DDs school friends are all very spread out...the child over the road is Catholic and goes to the catholic primary and I thnk the little lads are in a different local school

I am tempted to move because I think both DDs will miss out...the little girl opposite waves from the window at DD when she's out on her bike... On the bright side, she has a couple of mates who live about half a mile away and I think when they're all a bit bigger they can go around to one anothers houses...but not yet.

Are we alone in this situation and are my neighbours weird for not letting 7 and 8 year olds out to play?

No.

They're doing what they feel comfortable with and you're doing what you feel comfortable with.

Neither of you is weird.

You've just different views on what's the right age to allow a child to play out without supervision.

God....what is normal in your view Hecate? IS 7 too small then?

What does Catholicism have to do with it?

I have a 9 year old and she is not allowed out to play alone....there is a boy in her class who lives on our road who is allowed to get on his bike and go wherever he wants.

Surely no one is weird, people are just different.

Ah good grief nothing RUleBritania! Just that if they went to the same school, they might be more on terms...and be able to simply walk to and from school together which would lead to them playing at one another homes...as it is, they don't!

nobutyeahbut how many playdates do you feel pressured sensible to organise over a 2 week break then?

By name and by nature, it seems, OP?

You pose a question, people answer and you fly off the handle .

I am genuinely feeling a bit about it...on MN I keep reading threads where Mums are moaning about loads of kids knocking to play...why don't we have that??? Why does it happen in some areas and not others?

My nine year old was slung out at 10 am and came back at 4ish.
All the kids play out round here from about age 6 -7 ish

We have a similar set-up - but I'm one who is uncomfortable with letting my children out to play (7 and 5) I don't think there is a need for it to be honest, children just hanging around frount gardens, up and down the same bit of tarmac on their bikes etc just seems very dull.

Mine is 3, so I'm not in the same situation as you.

I don't think your neighbours are weird though, they are doing what they feel is right for them, and you for you.
If you want your child to play with theirs, why don't you invite her over one day?

Why don't you go round and ask the girls parents if she can go on her bike with dd?

God knows. Mine are 11 & 12 and have never so much as been off the end of the path without an adult.

I have no idea what's the 'right' age for NT children, since I haven't got any but I remember when mine were that age - their peers were fairly evenly split between those who were allowed out on the street alone and those who were not.

I think that every parent has to make their own decision, based on whether they feel their child is too young, what they assess the risks to be, how much road sense the child has got etc etc.

my DD plays out she is 3.5, she is supervised though, and plays with the other children in the street age range from 2-11. she loves it and knows she's not allowed to leave the cul-de-sac.

I wouldn't let my boys go out alone at that age. We are in a cul-de-sac but there is a path out the closed end, and then it is only 50 yards to a busy road with buses etc the other end.

This seems normal to me though, I grew up living on a busy road and we played in the garden. Which is probably where all the kids in your road play.

Re asking the little girls mum...well I did that when we first moved in...she's fairl friendly and will pop over to ask advice on neighborhood matters etc but when I asked..this was about 3 years ago...if she and her DD would like to pop in for coffee and a play, she was vague and never followed it up!

I am a paranoidshy type so feel that she mustn't like us! But in my heart I know that's not true...she chats away f I see her whilst I'm out gardening or something and she arrives home...but never lets her DD out...equally my DD is shy and I coudn't suggest that she knock for the child as she simply wouldnt

I don't really arrange playdates as such.

I am lucky that at least four of my very good friends have children of the same age. They live all over London so as we don't see them all the time we meet up in the school holidays.

I don't know what i would do otherwise tbh.

But i won't be letting her out to play anytime soon that's for sure.

ALibaba it's a funny thing...I let her out but I am constantly checking on her...my sister on the other hand has an 8 year old in year 3 (my DD is also year three but is only 7) and she let's her out to the park which is about a quarter of a mile away! That seems too much to me...I suppose I want it all!

everlong yes. I am like my name.

nobut you've made me feel much better actually. I worry that my DD wont get enough "Playing out" but she has got other stuff like you have...meeting my friends and ther kids...her cousins are also the same age...they're close...and DD will soon begin Brownies and sewing club. It'll come I suppose!

Sounds like she has plenty to keep her occupied, don't worry so much

my ds is 6 and plays out. i hate it. he has picked up some really bad behaviours that he never did before we moved here (9 months ago). i am trying to move somewhere where else.

Why don't you/your DD knock on the other girl's door and invite her over to your house to play?

If she is not allowed out them her parents may prefer if she played at your house/garden?

I do like it when the children are playing out togeather but I must admit I don't let my 7y old play out alone, she has to be with her 10 year old sister or knocking for a friend.

I don't let them go far and tbh they get bored quickly so we end up with friends in ours or them round theirs which is nice.

I don't like arranged play dates, at least drop in fiends can be sent back home if they become to much

We have recently had a case of a man in a van trying to tempt a child from their back garden so all the children have had a refresher stranger danger lecture chat.

You have to do what makes you fell comfortable and it also depends on the individual child.