To think a 2 year gap between DCs 1 and 2 isn't all that odd or insane?

[FutureNannyOgg]

I'm 20-something weeks pg with DS2, DS1 will be 2 a couple of weeks after my EDD.

My DM thinks I am nuts, and frequently refers to them as being "so close together" (my DB has DCs with 16 months between them which she moans about too, but she claims this is "almost as bad")

I also keep getting comments from people about how "soon" I am having DC2. Yesterday there were 2, including one woman in the street loudly exclaiming "Christ" then making a comment about me being pg, and another much less rude one having trouble with the idea that I was having 2 DCs 2 years apart.

I'm a teacher, I have taught lots of siblings that are 1 or 2 years apart, and a few families where 3 or more DCs have passed through my classes in the last 6 years. Is it really worth such a reaction? Am I actually crazy for deciding to have another?

I always thought slightly less than 2 years to 3 years was the norm.

oh i meant to say it isnt really uncommon mine are older and teenagers and i was asked if i couldnt have anymore after dd1 people are so damn nosey about conception and other peoples choices its nobodies business imo ,

Can't say what's right or wrong or good or bad, but can offer support. I've age gaps of 18 months and two years, so had three by the time oldest DC was 3.5. Rather manic initially, but all rather lovely now (14, 13 and 11). I've many friends with three children with very similar age gaps.

I have a 18m gap between DD1 & 2, 21/2y between DD2 & 3 (mc inbetween) and 22m between DD3 & DS so 5y 10m between them all.

Im still here and still relatively sane!

They are now 7, 6, 3 and almost 2. It's a crazy knackering life but I wouldn't change it for the world, just as easy to change 2 bums than 1. I love their closeness the 3 girls are playing Lego just now as DS naps.

Babies everywhere - you'll be ok it's hard to start with with a feeding baby but as they get older it gets easier.

I don't think 2 years is a close gap, a year yes but not two.

When I told my mother I was pregnant again when DD1 was 9 months old she went a bit mad saying that it was obviously a mistake, when I said it wasn't she said she was going to tell everyone it was WTF?

A baby and toddler isn't that hard TBH the key is getting out every day even a 15 minute walk to the park and getting the toddler and baby to nap at the same time. I always laugh to myself when people are moaning about a toddler and newborn that's easy wait until you have a school age one, a nursery age one and have all the afterschool clubs and homework that goes with it!

I have got 3 DDs 10, 3 and 20 months so the age gaps are 6.8 years and 2 years (birthdays same month). I haven't found the smaller age gap any harder than the bigger one really and have pretty much been a single parent since DD3 was a week old.

I saw a picture of my mum with her 4 younger siblings taken when she was about 9 so the smallish age gaps aren't a new thing.

I do know someone who has 9 months and 3 weeks between 2 of her DCs which she said was very hard work.

I teach siblings in one of my classes who are only 9 months apart. I think the younger one was born very prematurely though so it definitely wasn't intentional. They seem to get on incredibly well and are lovely children. Two years doesn't seem at all odd to me!

DD1 and DS1 have a 17 month gap
DS1 and DS2 have a 22 month gao
and
DS2 and DD2 have a 14 months gap.

As you can imagine, my Husband and I have had to listen to al ot of very personal and, at times, offensive comments from people who think that it's somehow thier right to pass flippant comments on a situation they are judging based on no knowledge of how we operate as a family. I have no time for such irrelevant virtiol.

The way I see it is it's my family and it's my job to care about thier happiness and not the opinions or feelings of those who have no business to offer unsolicited opinion.

YANBU. Its not odd or insane or even unusual.

Most of my friends are now just starting round two with 2/3yr gaps but 2yrs is a fairly common so don't worry about it, people always like to express an opinion (smile & nod).
There's a 17mth gap between my two so when I was pregnant with dd2 I had a lot of 'you're brave' comments and even a look of horror from someone asking if it was planned-cheeky mare! (and yes she was and it would have been a 15mth age gap if there had been any choice in the matter!)

We had 18 months between the first 2, then exactly 2 years, then 2 years one week (so they were 5.5, 4 and 2 when DC4 was born). Early years were hard work but as they were all the same sort of age it was much easier to do things with them. Downside was having simultaneous Y9 SATs, GCSEs and A levels.

Then we had a 15.5 year gap between DC4 and DC5. That was interesting. DC3 (22) and DC5 (5) fight like cat and dog

I have 3 dcs at 5, 3 (on friday) and 3 months and they get on well sometimes. Many of the Dcs who are starting nursery in September with Dc2 also have older sibilings in Dc1s class.
I also have a DB who is 2.6 years apart from me. I honestly thought 2-3 years was the 'norm' as most people I know have a similar gap between Dcs.

My DD and DS are 23 months apart. Since my sister and I were 5 years apart I felt like i didn't really have a sibling until we were in our 20's (what 17 year old is going to want to play with her 12 year old sister?).

I also felt as a more mature mum (had first at 35) that I wanted to get the insane baby years out of the way in a consolidated manner (so 4 years of broken sleep and a hell of a lot of work but then the major chaos would be over). I have a coworker who has a 7 year gap between kids and she's really stuggled to go back to the nighttime feedings, etc after such a big gap.

To each her own I say, but I don't think your gap sounds odd at all. In fact I'd call it very average.

There are two years betwen my eldest two and there are scores of other mums at the school with two children in each of their years!

I had the opposite from my mum. DS1 and DS2 are 2 years 2 months apart. DS1 is 3.3 now and DS2 is 1.1. According to her, that is really awkward, they won't get on and I would be starting all over again, but she does acknowledge that this seems very common. She looked after my cousins (boy and girl) when they were very young who are the same sort of gap and who fought a lot, and are only in the last couple of years have pulled together a bit more at 17 and 19 years old. My much younger cousins are 7 and 5, boy and girl again, and they argue a lot too, which I think is what my mum has based her thoughts on.

My mum and dad had me and DB 13 months apart (my mum was pregnant 4 months after having me) and we've always gotten on really well, and regularly got mistaken for twins. My mum said that she basically had two little babies once my brother came along as I was still so dependent on her.

12 years between my two. It was more the way it worked out than a big plan. Even so I would want more than two years between children personally. But that is just the way I feel. Surely it is up to the couple concerned if and when they have another (or even a first) child?

23 months between DS1 and DS2. Was tough at first but they're great mates now!
People did say we were 'brave' and many probably thought we were mad but now we have DC3 on the way everyone we speak to thinks we're crazy. Especially when we confirm it was planned!

Anyway, 23 months has worked out fine for us. DS1 was a green-eyed monster for the first year but they're insepreable now.
I'm sure every gap has pros and cons. Hope your Mum stops worrying you.

I had 3 in four years (so two years between each of them iyswim) and I can only think of one "snotty" comment from anyone, and she was just a bitch anyway and couldn't ever say anything nice to anyone anyway.

we have a 2.9yr gap between first and second child , then a 60 second gap between 2nd and third ;)

All 3 get on / fight depending on what day it is :)

Sil has 8 kids bigest gap is 2.5 years ... All seem to get on fine with each other

14 month gap here, they are best friends and have amused each other since DD arrived. DC3 would have been even closer if nature had played ball, but alas we are due in July and DC1 & 2 will be 4.5 and 3.5, that seems like a huge gap to me, wish we could have caught years ago. I'm not relishing going back to the baby stage when we have moved on from it all. Will be worth it, but would have been easier to do it all in one go with the three of them i think

2.5 year gap between my DS. Damned hard work in the early years but my goodness how it has paid off in the long run (now 9 and almost 7). So much in common, love to play together (most of the time) really laugh along together. Maybe because they're the same gender but, its worked out well for us.

you cant win.
When I had dd2, people were suprised at the smallish gap- 2 years. Oh, and they said I was too young, (27).
When I had dd3, nine years after dd2, there were more negative comments about the large age gap and my age, 38, gasp- apparently I'm now too old!
So you can't win!

17 months between my dds. Not really planned and quite hard when they were little but now they are 6 and 7 and it is fab. They play (and argue) together endlessly and i am really glad i had them both so close.

I have an almost 7 month old and am 17 weeks pregnant with DC2.

Sounds fine, although you might have them doing GCSEs ( or whatever they will be called by then) and A levels at the same time.