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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not use car seats?

143 replies

BlueFergie · 02/04/2012 13:41

Ok not as bad as it sounds.
We are going on hols in June. This will be third year in the same place. We stay on a campsite with amazing facilities and very close to a village with good bus and train links so we don't hire a car. The only issue is the trip from airport to camp site.
First year we got a coach laid on by travel company there and back. Last year coach there but thanks to a fuck up on the travel company's part had to get a taxi back. Kids were 4 and 2. Obviously no seats with us. Not ideal but what could we do, needed to make the plane. We strapped them in and off we went.
This year. Connecting coach charges have gone up and are charged per person so actually cheaper to get taxi there and back. We have a baby now who will be 9 months.
So what to do? I can't really bring three seats with me in the plane. A small booster for Dd who is 5 is fine but DS who is 3 is still well below recommended weight for a booster, and of course the baby is in the rear facing one which I don't want to put in the hold in case it gets damaged and won't be allowed as hand luggage I imagine?
We could pay extra for coach but is that any safer they won't be in car seats there either. Plus coach on way back just about gets us to airport an hour and half before flight. Airport is horribly disorganised and the first year we were stuck in horribly long queues for check in and security do it was awful and rushed and panicky. Last year we were fine because we got taxi and got there early but other people on coach had same experience as we had in prior year. I just don't fancy doing it again with three kids.
So AIBU to get a taxi with no car seats? Or what should I do?

OP posts:
Clytaemnestra · 02/04/2012 20:01

"Because life is a risk, and you have to prioritise the risks, decide which you will take or not. The only child I know who has died, died in a coach crash on a holiday (one of those days out)."

I can't get my head around the idea that squashing your baby to death with your own body could ever be an acceptable risk, but there you go. Takes all sorts I suppose.

Clytaemnestra · 02/04/2012 20:03

Also, I don't personally know anyone who has died from catching malaria on holiday, but I still wouldn't dream of not being vaccinated. Just because you don't know anyone who it's happened to doesn't mean it never happens you know.

Clytaemnestra · 02/04/2012 20:06

"I dont know of any kids killed in RTAs as a result of not using them."

I knew two little girls I used to play with, who died in a car crash in the 80s with no car seats. They were 5 and 7. Mum and Dad were strapped in the front, walked away. Both girls died.

Do you really think that people come up with things like car seats just to irritate parents?

bejeezus · 02/04/2012 20:08

i know it doesnt mean it never happens

im just not all that convinced that the risk is THAT big compared to other risks.

I know lots of people that have died from malaria

IDontWantToBeFatAnymore · 02/04/2012 20:09

I don't really give a shit with the selling of car seats is about tapping into parent's guilt. I want to know that I did all I could to keep my children safe should we ever have a crash.

bejeezus · 02/04/2012 20:10

clyt noi dont think they do it to irritate parents

Im not disputing that a car seat is safer than not a car seat

Im not convinced at the enormity of the risk

bejeezus · 02/04/2012 20:12

posted to soon-WRT irritating parents bit- no, but there is alot of money being made from car seats

JarethTheGoblinKing · 02/04/2012 20:15

Probably already been linked to, but how about a couple of these ?

I'm sure they're cheaper elsewhere.

coraltoes · 02/04/2012 20:16

That's right bejeezus. Maxi cosi just weren't making enough money so invented the risk of infant RTAs to cash in.

bejeezus · 02/04/2012 20:18

hth

SoozyWoozy · 02/04/2012 20:19

Really, bejeezus ? You surprise me if you think that not using a car seat is not that big. But I am the opposite to you in that I've never known anyone to have / die of malaria but I have known several people to die in car accidents for the simple reason they haven't had a seatbelt on. A booster car seat puts the seatbelt in the correct position to ensure it works.

I have worked in A&E long enough to see the difference... for example, we had 2 trauma patients - one car had pulled out infront of another, speed of impact estimated to be 40 - 50mph. The driver of the car at fault was wearing a seatbelt, she had a fractured clavicle (caused by seatbelt) and some serious bruising. The passenger of the other car was wearing a seatbelt but the car was quite old and so her injuries were worse, but not life threatening. The driver of this car was not wearing a seatbelt. He was pronounced dead at the scene.

If a child had been in this car, inappropriately restrained (like the driver), s/he would have been thrown around like a ragdoll. This can happen if the child is wearing an inappropriately fitting seatbelt (i.e. no car seat or booster) as it stops it functioning properly and can either cause severe injury or simply doesn't work at all.

My cousin and Aunty were both killed in the 70s in a low-speed impact, neither were wearing seatbelts. My uncle and other cousin were injured but nothing life threatening and both wore seatbelts. I can remember my dad fitting seatbelts in our old cars because the risk of not having them on was too great.

lagoonhaze · 02/04/2012 20:24

first years do a folding car seat too.

Original poster
BlueFergie · 02/04/2012 20:37

Thanks everyone for your comments.
Definitely food for thought. I do have a light weight spare booster myself and pretty sure I can borrow another so may look into taking them for the older kids. I can probably strap it to their hand luggage.
That leave the baby seat. We don't have a seat booked for the baby on the plane so won't be able to bring it on with us. Wrapping it up beforehand won't work as we will be being dropped to airport this side so he will be sitting in it! Think it may be possible to get it wrapped in airport but I still can't shake the worry about it getting damaged. My concern is not that it will be damaged and therefore be unusable when we arrive, but that it will be damaged through being mishandled in such a way that is not apparent to the untrained eye. I will then be using a fatally flawed seat for months after. I know how baggage is treated sometimes. If I accidentally dropped my car seat from 8 feet, or threw 80 kilos of suitcases on top of it I would know and replace it, but I don't know what happens to it after I check it. So what's riskier, having a baby in no car seat for 2 half hour drives or potentially having him in a damaged car seat for 6 months after?
And ragged how did you guess? I'm 95lbs! (and then some)

OP posts:
molily · 02/04/2012 20:37

I found bubblebums a great investment - I have them for my dd1 (5) and dd2 (just 4) for these kinds of taxi/ coach trips. If your rear facing baby seat can attach to wheels (or you can borrow one that does) you should be able to wheel it to the plane steps and pick up at the other side on the tarmac avoiding the luggage handlers !

SoozyWoozy · 02/04/2012 20:44

I see your point about the long-term car seat use afterwards. Could you then afford to buy a car seat which you would only use for this holiday, and then not again afterwards? Then you would be safe in the knowledge that your regular car seat was safe at home and not like the other, had been gently placed thrown from a great distance by the lovely baggage handlers? Wink

NeverKnowinglyUnderstood · 02/04/2012 20:46

I am sorry to go on about thiings others have said but we have family experience of this.
Please do not have the child/children sat on your knee. Our cousin has been in a wheelchair since he was 2. He was sat on his mums knee when a minor shunt gave him mum whiplash however in that time she fell forward and broke his spine.

In order to get money for the rest of his life the Dad had to sue the mother for damage to his son as the car insurance wouldn't pay.
It has been horrific.
Have you booked through a company or independantly? I am sure they hear this all the time and if you throw your toys out of the cot you may all of a sudden find that they will help.

Chingchok · 02/04/2012 20:48

Someone further up suggested a seat just for this trip (mentioning 30 pounds which sounds very cheap to me!), and I would be tempted to do that.

Our own experience has been that we were able to bring the infant car seat on board (although not allowed to use it rear-facing, but that's a whole other thread!) and store it in an overhead locker/cupboard. Crew are generally very helpful. Could you maybe call the airline and ask what the policy is?

SoozyWoozy · 02/04/2012 20:48

If it helps with the budgeting, Kiddicare and ToysrUs have rear-facing stage one car seats for about £40.

birdofthenorth · 02/04/2012 20:57

How long is the hour journey? What can of roads? If it's a shortish journey I would agree with 3yo on DP 9mo on you. We had this in Tenerife when DD was 8 weeks, strapped her on me in a sling for the journey, DS then 7 no car seat. No issues, though I do understand some people feel strongly about the risks. I've also had DD (now 19 months) on my lap in the back of a black can for a five min journey. Driver didn't bat an eyelid, and didn't have much choice as it was snowy, I had luggage and pram was bust.

birdofthenorth · 02/04/2012 21:00

Urgh just read Never's post and regret mine. I'm sorry, that's terrible. I will take this seriously from now on.

Pippinintherain · 02/04/2012 21:44

Buy a cheap car seat and take it with you.

Why do people insist on saying they always travel in a taxi with no seat and they've been fine?

Have any of you been in a crash while not using a car seat for your child??

takingiteasy · 02/04/2012 22:20

We're taking this baby on holiday when it will be 6m (not born yet) and hiring a car at the airport.

I have a bugaboo, we're putting the car seat on the chassis and loading that in as our pram, the buggy part is so compact we're going to put that on top of one of the suitcases so we have the proper pushchair for our holiday.

Might be an idea.

Jenny70 · 02/04/2012 22:23

We were in similar position when we went to a quite poor asian country, where carseats wouldn't be able to be sourced, and the nature of the trip was completely unfeasible to take them with us and lug them around (on boats etc).

But also appalling road safety, so we were torn.

We ended up buying off ebay a seat belt loop like the airlines give you for children on your lap (I think it's called an airline seat extension strap)... then youngest was strapped to the seatbelt on our lap - so he didn't get crushed by our bodyweight in case of an accident, but was restrained (and not leaping about in car). Other kids had seatbelts with the diagonal bit behind them, so in essence lap sash.

Not ideal, but was a practical compromise, and easy to carry belt in a backpack if we needed taxi's to come home etc.

Tiddlyompompom · 02/04/2012 22:42

Looks like your best solution is to buy a v cheap carseat just for this trip - I saw some for £30 on Mothercare this evening. That way you don't risk compromising the safety of your 'home' carseat for future use, but can be completely happy that your 9mo is safe on holiday.
Those inflatable/backpack boosters look great too, they'd be ideal for your older children.

kittyandthefontanelles · 02/04/2012 22:42

I would have organised the trip around the logistics of having a baby and young children. That would have been my priority when planning and booking. However, it sounds like it's too late for that now so I recommend you do as pps say and buy an effective but reasonably priced car seat and boosters just for the journey.

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