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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To put a dog lead on the baby?

295 replies

WhiteTrash · 01/04/2012 13:30

A friend of mine took her (then) toddler to a festival, he was just walking so had reins on him, and attached to that, a retractable dog lead. It meant he had a little freedom but stayed safe and she could sit with her friends.

We've booked a short camping trip, the baby will most likely be walking by then and Im not sure if all babies do this but our first, once he started walking would literally aim for the horizon and just go. Over and over again. No amount of distraction would prevent it. It lasted 5 or so months and he was a bit easier. Im assuming DS2 will be the same, and we'd love to sit on the beach have picnics etc.

Anyway when my friend told me what she did, I thought it was a genuis idea. But apparently, she said people hurled abuse at her for it so clearly not everyone agrees that its a good idea.

IS it unreasonable? Totally prepared to be flamed. But I figured Id ask her first then have abuse hurled at me on the beach.

OP posts:

Maryz · 01/04/2012 23:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/04/2012 23:18

I was with DD at the park recently. It is by the sea and has admittedly very small cliffs at the edge. DD would run towards them, I would run after her, pick her up, screaming, carry her away and repeat. This was made more dangerous by the fact that the rocks were slippy. I was having nightmares that DD would slip or I would slip while holding her, screaming and struggling.

fussbucket · 01/04/2012 23:30

I can't face reading the whole thread (I've been off MN for the weekend) but for what it's worth, ddtwins were on 3 foot long dog leads attached to the middle of the back of those navy blue webbing harnesses whenever we went to the shops or anywhere similar for about a year. I had one obnoxious old biddy have a go at me, and everyone else who commented said what a brilliant idea. The reins they supply are really short and you can't handle two sets simultaneously, the dog leads had a wrist loop so you could get your purse out and deal with the front door keys. Three feet was long enough for the girls to have some autonomy, but not long enough for them to tangle themselves or anyone else up.

slowestwildebeast · 01/04/2012 23:31

I understand the panic as I've looked after other people's children, and the terror and panic is there, even more so because it's some other persons pfb.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/04/2012 23:39

Nope, it's not not even more. If something happens to someone else's child it would be a terrible tragedy, if something happened to mine, my life would be over. I would never be truly happy again.

garlicbutter · 01/04/2012 23:41

scuzy - well then why are they on a lead?

To limit his range, while still giving him more than 18 inches to roam.

Logic, innit.

blubberyboo · 01/04/2012 23:47

i totally get you whitetrash..yes you just want him to have a small radius of play area where he can venture to a certain short distance still in sight and most probably within arm's length but he won't be able to bolt off

i think some ppl have this warped vision that you are going to let him wander off a few hundred metres then at the end of the day when its time to go home you will just press the button and he will come flying back into your arms ..ahem

you are not being lazy you just want to have a relaxing picnic or whatever without spending it dashing off in all directions. if anything your youngster will benefit from a relaxing family occasion giving him the confidence to explore a little under mummy's watchful eye without mummy being uptight and tense.

i did read back through some of the thread backwards and just shook my head in disbelief....

hope u enjoy your camping trip

garlicbutter · 02/04/2012 00:00

this warped vision that you are going to let him wander off a few hundred metres then at the end of the day when its time to go home you will just press the button

It was aaaages before I realised that's what people were thinking, blubber! All those remarks about it being dangerous/cruel, people/traffic tripping over lead, child winding himself in it ... didn't make sense until I clocked that they were imagining toddler at one end of the beach with only half a mile of wire between him & his mum

Also, having looked up bleedin' dog leads - mine isn't some kind of washing line on a spring, it's a leather strap on a reel, which locks when I press a button. If we're crossing a road I shrink (retract) the lead and lock it so dog can only move within safe distance. If we're in a churchyard or other interesting place with limited space, I loosen it to about 3m and lock it. This is exactly what one would want to achieve with an inquisitive toddler!

Logic, innit.

blubberyboo · 02/04/2012 00:21

you would think garlic but evidently not

I am now going to bed to think about all the irresponsible and lazy dog owners out there who have their dogs on leads instead of just holding them by the paw

I mean why have a dog at all if you are not prepared to run everywhere after it in all directions? Bone idle I say!..............and surely it is cruel to tie them up?..unsafe even cos they might choke or get tangled up when the owner isn't looking. Hmm I think the RSPCA should look into this issue.

youarenotbeingserious · 02/04/2012 00:46

Those backpacks with dog leads long straps are pure genius.

I have arfed at this thread - Whitetrash conceded to dog leads being dangerous 5 pages back but still there are people saying just chase after him. Seriously? Should a parent never sit and eat because they have a bolter?

These 'leads' give the child freedom and keep them safe - that can only be a good thing eh?

garlicbutter · 02/04/2012 00:46

Cheers for my very first out-loud guffaw of the day, blubber!

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 02/04/2012 01:32

Make that 2 Garlic :)

Blubber - I am now going to bed to think about all the irresponsible and lazy dog owners out there who have their dogs on leads instead of just holding them by the paws it's a disgrace isn't it!! What are they thinking?

Original poster

WhiteTrash · 02/04/2012 07:08

even more so because uts someone elses pfb

No, not more so. Not even close. You're very, very wrong there.

To br honest, I had no idea until just now people thought Id be letting him wonder of miles away. Im talking literally 3- 4 foot away from me.

Although I think I explained a few pages back he'd be close by (its the whole point really). If I let him wonder that far on a ridiculously long lead then there would be little point of the lead at all.

OP posts:

youarenotbeingserious · 02/04/2012 07:40

I can't believe people have not got enough common sense to realise you meant a meter or 2

justonemorethread · 02/04/2012 07:53

Yes I must admit I had images of that, but can't always be sure what people are like!

Anyway, maybe come back and let us know how it all went?

Deffo get your toddler used to reins before you go, as I said mine was happy with her wrist-reins but once I lost them for a few days and that was it, couldn't go near her with them ever again

Heyyyho · 02/04/2012 08:30

I knew a young woman who was buying make up in a well known department store in London, her little dog was being run over outside whilst on a retractable lead.

Awful things.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 02/04/2012 08:45

I dont think the lead was to blame there Heyyyho.

AmberLeaf · 02/04/2012 09:17

You cannot say reins are fine, but say reins that come with a longer strip arent

I think you can. the longer the reigns the more chance of accident IMO

The OP was initially talking about actual dog leads not a clever toddler version that someone else linked to!

Anyway, I had a bolter, I used wrist reigns on him, lots of rude comments from people about dog leads and treating my child like an animal, well he went on to be diagnosed with autism so that explained why he took so much longer to understand danger than his siblings.

However I would not have contemplated a retractable dog lead as they are dangerous both to the person attached and to people around them, I know somebody that broke an arm tripping over one.

ChasedByBees · 02/04/2012 09:21

Thanks Whitetrash for starting this thread, I've bookmarked the reins linked to by MissVerinder (thank you also MissV). DD is only 11 weeks old but when she's more mobile, I'd like to give her some freedom in a safe way if shes a bolter.

wildebeast I think people aren't listening to your arguements because you're defending them with insults and rudeness. Logic generally works better. You also don't feel more terror looking after someone else's PFB. My own DD is literally the best and most amazing baby on the planet (sorry other parents on here but it's true ). Other people don't recognise this yet so I feel a responsibilty like never before. I could have guessed at the depth of emotion and love before becoming a parent, but feeling it is something differently entirely.

youarenotbeingserious · 02/04/2012 09:26

ChasedByBees

^You also don't feel more terror looking after someone else's PFB. My own DD is literally the best and most amazing baby on the planet (sorry other parents on here but it's true ). Other people don't recognise this yet so I feel a responsibilty like never before. I could have guessed at the depth of emotion and love before becoming a parent, but feeling it is something differently entirely.^ - So true and very well worded. DS is 7yo now and was a bolter from the day he started walking (at 10 months) Good Luck

fluffette1980 · 02/04/2012 10:03

You can get retractable reins - no need to attach a dog leash.

www.koolkangaroos.com/

bubby64 · 02/04/2012 10:35

I had twins, and when they were toddlers I used retractable dog leads attached to their reins when we were out and about in parks etc. Otherwise one would go one way, and the other go in the opposite direction, and I couldn't chase them both! I suggest this to ALL mums of toddler twins or close siblings. You haver to be careful they dont get the line wrapped around them,and I had several comments about it at the time, but it is far better than one running off to fall in a pond, whilst the other ran towards traffic, which is what almost happened to me before I had this brainwave (they are now 11yrs, so this was abou 9yrs ago!).

bubby64 · 02/04/2012 10:45

By the way- I didnt use the ones with the srting type lines, but ones like a ribbon, and it let them have an extra 8ft of movement, not 10metres or whatever the really long ones extend to!

pigletmania · 02/04/2012 11:53

Not a bad idea. It's not harming the chi,d, it's. It like you are putting the lead round their necks. I would rather my child safe with a retractable dog lead on their reins than end up like poor James bulger

pigletmania · 02/04/2012 11:54

Meant its not like you are putting the lead round their necks

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