Or is it rude to say this when you call someone on the phone?

[AwkwardMary]

I just picked up the landline when it rang and a female voice said "Hello is John there?"

"John" being my DH. I was slightly taken aback and nearly asked "who is calling please?" but thought I might look like a paranoid wife so I just handed the phone to DH and said "It's for you but I don't know who it is."

Turns out it's his manager from work, needing him to swap shifts on Monday.

Sureley as a manager she ought to know basic greetings? Such as "Hello this is Mrs Manager speaking...is it possible to speak to John please?"

Or am I overly "mannered" for today's people. She's in her early 40's..

HPC = Health Care Provider I think.

I think it´s really odd of her, as his manager not to say who she was tbh-especially if she was calling about work!

I'm with OP on this. As it's a professional call and on a Sunday (if he works Monday - Friday), she should've said "Hallo, I'm mrs. Manager, could I speak to etc."

Only fair for him to know before taking the call that his manager is on the line!

A simple 'may I ask who's calling please' to her slightly curt introduction would be fine.

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes

Thanks.

I'd have expected a 'please' at least, so yanbu. I always ask who's calling if it's not for me.

Would you have been as offended had it been a man? I doubt it. TBH if I were phoning a colleague at home, especially at the weekend I would announce myself and then ask if they were available to speak.

Yes, YABU. Your expectation is weird and OTT. She sounded absolutely fine and you could've asked who it was if you wanted to but you didn't ask and that's that.

"I was slightly taken aback"

seriously?

I just want to know if, when you picked the phone up, you said "AwkardMary residence, lady of the house speaking"

Dear Lord, I could never have a conversation with you OP, I'd have to second guess everything that came out of my mouth in case it was wrong!

I think Yabu a little bit, op

YABU I would always ask who is calling before handing the phone over

I always ask who is calling if I don't know who it is. You could have easily done that.

U r being unreasonable and annoying actually - glad I'm not married to you

YABU, and a bit odd
She phoned up for John and asked if he was there and you were slightly taken aback?? Why for gods sake, its what most people would ask. Or does your DP need your permission to speak to another female on the phone?

I wouldnt dream of being so nosey to ask who was calling if someone called for my husband.

And to be that wound up that you post on a forum about it is very OTT, I agree with other posters, you sound like v hard work

'Hello is John there?'

'Yes he is.'

(pause)

'May I speak to him?'

'Oh sorry I thought you were just ascertaining his whereabouts. I'll see if he's available. Who may I say is calling?'

That's the way to do it.

How funny.
You must think a lot of people are very rude, OP.

Thank you Didll I still think you are all rude and I am perfect. SO there.

NO manners. Introduce yourself! YOU make the call...YOU announce yourself.

"Can I speak to John?" indeed! No. You can't because your manners are horrible.

Milady You sound like my kind of person.

Look. I'm not called "AwkwardMary" for nothing you know.

Maybe it´s different here (Germany)-but everyone says who they are before saying who they wish to speak to.

Even the teenagers calling for our teenagers!

Crikey, you think that's bad, you should try answering the phone to my MIL. She just says 'Awl roit (sorry, I don't know how to type Brummie), is 'e there?' Shocked me for the first 9 years of married life, but since I got caller display I just don't bother to answer it when I can see it's her