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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friends say I'm not but they're biased - what does the MN Jury think?

72 replies

RoseMortmain · 30/03/2012 20:22

I'll tell you the background and you tell me who WBU, please.

I make cakes - fancy iced ones for birthdays, etc.

I was asked about 3 weeks ago for the price of one of those princess cakes with the doll stuck in the top by someone who I would call an acquaintance rather than a friend. I know her, socialise with her a bit but she's quite a 'tricky' person to get along with and she's fallen out with 90% of the people in our larger group of friends in the last 5 years for various reasons, all caused by things she has said/done.

Anyway, I told her and she clearly didn't want to pay my prices (I don't mind, I wouldn't Grin but plenty of people do) so I explained how she could make it herself because they're not overly hard. She said she'd do that and we said no more about it.

On Tuesday she collared me on the school run and asked me if I could do it after all. The party was this afternoon, after school.

I said I had 3 more cakes to do for this weekend but I could squeeze it in if she could get the doll as I knew I wouldn't have time to go shopping for it myself. She told me that she already had the doll so she'd drop it over to me that day so I agreed to do it.

She hadn't dropped it off by the end of school but at pick up she promised she would bring it over that evening.

She didn't, but promised again on Wednesday morning that she'd bring it to the house. She hadn't dropped it off by 3pm so I text her to say I really needed it, couldn't do any more to the cake until I had it so could she bring it to pick up.

I got no reply and she wasn't at pick up so I text her again at 6pm, reiterating that it was becoming very urgent that she brought me the doll or I wouldn't be able to do the cake.

Again, no reply and she hadn't brought it by 8pm so I FB'd her a message as it was the only other way I had of contacting her and again explained the urgency and asked her to bring it round before 8:30 as otherwise I couldn't do it. She's on FB every day so I assumed she would pick it up.

I finally got a reply in the morning, a text which had been sent at 11pm saying how sorry she was, how the doll had been on the table but she'd been waylaid (I live a 5 min walk from her, 1 min drive and our dcs are in the same classes) and please say I could still do it.

As it was less than 2 days to the party and I had to get started on the cakes for Saturday and Sunday's clients I had no time left. Wednesday night was the night I'd put aside to do hers because I couldn't start the others that early.

At school drop off on Thursday she rushed up to me with the doll saying how sorry she was, please would I still do it and which point I had to say no.

She then told me that I'd let her down, that she hadn't got my texts because she hadn't had her phone with her, that I'd ruined her daughter's party, etc.

I explained that she'd been promising to drop the doll over for 2 days, that when it became urgent I tried to get hold of her using both contacts that I had for her and if she couldn't be bothered to find 5 minutes to bring me the doll then I really wasn't to blame.

She was adamant that it was my fault and I should have done more to contact her, I feel I did what I could and my friends agree but none of them get on with her so they aren't exactly impartial.

What do you think?

OP posts:
mrscumberbatch · 30/03/2012 20:23

She's a moron.

ditavonteesed · 30/03/2012 20:23

YANBU.

BillyBollyBandy · 30/03/2012 20:23

YANBU - she is a crazy lady. Onus was on her to be available and check her texts/email when she knew she couldn't deliver the doll when promised.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 30/03/2012 20:24

She's a wanker.

clopper · 30/03/2012 20:25

I think you are in the right about this

bigTillyMint · 30/03/2012 20:25

YANBU! She is.

Threeprinces · 30/03/2012 20:26

YANBU, she is.

1950sHousewife · 30/03/2012 20:26

She's a fool. Tell her where to shove the doll.
Ruin party indeed. Just go and buy a caterpillar cake from Tesco's, shove a Barbie head in it and no kid will know any differently. Grin

barbaraprim · 30/03/2012 20:27

Do you really need to ask? Of course YANBU

Catsdontcare · 30/03/2012 20:27

She's a tit and most supermarkets sell a princess cake with doll stuck in it so I'm sure if she can pull her to out she'll sort something.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 30/03/2012 20:27

I think she's a complete idiot and totally to blame. You did far more than was necessary and shouldn't give it another thought :)

fridakahlo · 30/03/2012 20:28

Ummmn, no way are you being unreasonable. You made space in your workload to accomadate her and she could not be bothered to pull her finger out and make sure that SHE had done everything required to get it done. How she can even think to say that you let her down is beyond me.

Shakey1500 · 30/03/2012 20:28

YANBU at all. Tell her to put a frill round the bottom of the doll and shove a toilet roll up her arse (the doll's obviously...although......Grin )

MyCatHasStaff · 30/03/2012 20:30

I make cakes too, so I think you are def not BU. But people who don't and are a bit bonkers think they take no time and are free to make. You did enough to contact her, it was her responsibility to get the doll to you - she knew she had to drop it off anyway, regardless of whether you contacted her or not. She knows she's in the wrong and is trying to blame you. Honestly? I suspect she just never wanted to wanted to pay.

5inthebed · 30/03/2012 20:31

She sounds like a right pain in the arse.

lisad123 · 30/03/2012 20:31

Her problem but feel bad for you too as I'm guessing she hasn't paid you for the work and materials you have already used Angry

CupOfBrownJoy · 30/03/2012 20:32

YANBU, I hate people who are unreliable. And you'd already put yourself out.

She's a PITA

Original poster
RoseMortmain · 30/03/2012 20:37

Arf @ shoving the doll up her arse. If we hadn't been standing in the school corridor at the time I would have told her to do that.

And yes, I now have a large chocolate cake in my freezer. DH has said that if she has another go at me he's going to go round with a bill Grin.

I think this may well be a MN first that the 17 posts all agree she is BU.

I was honestly starting to think I perhaps should have done more to contact her - thanks for the reassurance that it is in no way my fault.

And whoever called her a loon, sadly I think you've hit the nail on the head there.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 30/03/2012 20:40

yanbu at all

i would however charge her part of the cost, and give what you've done so far to her so she can try and finish it. at least then you'll get some money for what you;ve done

slowestwildebeast · 30/03/2012 20:52

You mean you didn't utilise carrier pidgeon to contact her? :) what a joke, you're doing her a favour yet you're apparently the one who should have done more? Utter fool.

Original poster
RoseMortmain · 30/03/2012 20:53

Thisis, the party was today so there's no point in letting her have the cake and I know that she wouldn't pay me even if I sent her a bill.

As you can clearly see, her brain really doesn't work along the same lines as most peoples'.

OP posts:
SaltResistantSlug · 30/03/2012 20:57

She's an idiot and clearly feels a twat because SHE has ruined her own DDs party.

Tell her to eff off to Waitrose and get her own Barbie cake!!!

PleaseChooseAnotherNN · 30/03/2012 20:59

Yanbu at all. If the cake was that important to her she should have gotten the doll to you.

Debeez · 30/03/2012 20:59

YANBU. Your friends may be biased but they're also right.

1950sHousewife The Barbie head Caterpillar hybrid made me spit out tea.

puds11 · 30/03/2012 21:00

tell her where to shove the doll Grin