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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My friends say I'm not but they're biased - what does the MN Jury think?

72 replies

RoseMortmain · 30/03/2012 20:22

I'll tell you the background and you tell me who WBU, please.

I make cakes - fancy iced ones for birthdays, etc.

I was asked about 3 weeks ago for the price of one of those princess cakes with the doll stuck in the top by someone who I would call an acquaintance rather than a friend. I know her, socialise with her a bit but she's quite a 'tricky' person to get along with and she's fallen out with 90% of the people in our larger group of friends in the last 5 years for various reasons, all caused by things she has said/done.

Anyway, I told her and she clearly didn't want to pay my prices (I don't mind, I wouldn't Grin but plenty of people do) so I explained how she could make it herself because they're not overly hard. She said she'd do that and we said no more about it.

On Tuesday she collared me on the school run and asked me if I could do it after all. The party was this afternoon, after school.

I said I had 3 more cakes to do for this weekend but I could squeeze it in if she could get the doll as I knew I wouldn't have time to go shopping for it myself. She told me that she already had the doll so she'd drop it over to me that day so I agreed to do it.

She hadn't dropped it off by the end of school but at pick up she promised she would bring it over that evening.

She didn't, but promised again on Wednesday morning that she'd bring it to the house. She hadn't dropped it off by 3pm so I text her to say I really needed it, couldn't do any more to the cake until I had it so could she bring it to pick up.

I got no reply and she wasn't at pick up so I text her again at 6pm, reiterating that it was becoming very urgent that she brought me the doll or I wouldn't be able to do the cake.

Again, no reply and she hadn't brought it by 8pm so I FB'd her a message as it was the only other way I had of contacting her and again explained the urgency and asked her to bring it round before 8:30 as otherwise I couldn't do it. She's on FB every day so I assumed she would pick it up.

I finally got a reply in the morning, a text which had been sent at 11pm saying how sorry she was, how the doll had been on the table but she'd been waylaid (I live a 5 min walk from her, 1 min drive and our dcs are in the same classes) and please say I could still do it.

As it was less than 2 days to the party and I had to get started on the cakes for Saturday and Sunday's clients I had no time left. Wednesday night was the night I'd put aside to do hers because I couldn't start the others that early.

At school drop off on Thursday she rushed up to me with the doll saying how sorry she was, please would I still do it and which point I had to say no.

She then told me that I'd let her down, that she hadn't got my texts because she hadn't had her phone with her, that I'd ruined her daughter's party, etc.

I explained that she'd been promising to drop the doll over for 2 days, that when it became urgent I tried to get hold of her using both contacts that I had for her and if she couldn't be bothered to find 5 minutes to bring me the doll then I really wasn't to blame.

She was adamant that it was my fault and I should have done more to contact her, I feel I did what I could and my friends agree but none of them get on with her so they aren't exactly impartial.

What do you think?

OP posts:
skybluepearl · 31/03/2012 08:25

I think she sounds disorgnised and needs someone to point the finger at when under stress maybe? She knew you were short of time. She is at fault but I do wonder if you could have told her on Tuesday that you only had Wednesday evening to do the cake.

Bathsheba · 31/03/2012 08:32

She is a complete loon...

However I have to say I probably would have gone round to hers to pick up the doll...NOT because she deserved me to run around after her when she was the one in the wrong, but simply to save ME the stress of all that messaging/texting/waiting for a reply etc etc as it was getting more and more urgent.

If you had picked up the doll then you could have been paid for it etc and you wouldn;t have the spare in the freezer...

Yep - she is mad, but presumably if she is 1 min drive from you then it would only have taken you a few mins, you'd have saved yourself the stress and you'd have been paid for the cake...

And if she wasn't in when you went round then you would have given yourself even MORE ammunition in proving she was completely unreasonabe

diddl · 31/03/2012 08:44

YABU-for starting the cake before you got the dollWink

She sounds ridiculous.

Happenstance · 31/03/2012 09:20

Your Friends arn't biased they are right YANBU, tell her to buy one from the supermarket next time.

AgnesCampbellMacPhail · 31/03/2012 09:27

Why would Op go round to pick up the doll?

She's running a business; not campaigning to replace the head Angel in Heaven. If your client can't be arsed to drop off 1 thing, then the chances of them being a good client is pretty low. Far better to focus on good clients and build up a relationship with them rather than someone who falls out with everyone.

Pixieonthemoor · 31/03/2012 09:35

She sounds like a stupid cow. It's no wonder she has fallen out with so many people! Don't give it a second thought and certainly don't feel guilty - she is the one who has "ruined" her daughters birthday by her inability to do a simple thing like dropping the doll off.

TalcAndTurnips · 31/03/2012 09:47

YABU - that poor woman's child - having to grow up without the iconic childhood experience of receiving a distorted plastic representation of the human form impaled in the middle of an edible confection Angry

BiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuitBiscuit

.

.

.

.

Grin only joking - she's a frothing loon

duckdodgers · 31/03/2012 10:20

YANBU, cheeky cow.

Those cake wrecks are fabulous Grin

Cherriesarelovely · 31/03/2012 10:24

YANBU at all. What a stupid woman. Of course it's not your fault. You told her on numerous occasions that you wouldn't be able to complete the cake without the doll and for whatever reason she didn't bring it or respond to your messages. It's caused you untold hassle in a week when you were already very busy. Ignore her, she is clearly an unpleasant character. Hope the other cakes go well!

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 31/03/2012 10:25

YANBU she sounds awful. And yes I'm laughing too at the barbie head shoved in a caterpillar cake!

CherryBlossom27 · 31/03/2012 10:25

Yanbu - you agreed to do the job at short notice and told her you needed the doll by x time to do it and reminded her and she didn't deliver. Her problem, not yours!

kerala · 31/03/2012 10:34

Think you have just found out why she has fallen out with so many other people...

ragged · 31/03/2012 10:48

Loon. Her, not OP.

AKissIsNotAContract · 31/03/2012 10:55

'just go and buy a caterpillar cake from Tesco's, shove a Barbie head in it and no kid will know any differently'

Grin sounds like a human centipede cake.

Fluffycloudland77 · 31/03/2012 11:17

She probably does this kind of thing all the time and expects everyone to run around after her.

She feels guilty because she ruined the party and thats why she had a go at you.

WhereYouLeftIt · 31/03/2012 18:48

Seriously - not having a particular cake ruins a party? Nope.

everlong · 31/03/2012 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Calamityboo · 31/03/2012 18:57

YASOOOOOOONBU, she is a proper moron, ruiner of party, idiot woman and a bit lazy for not just getting off her arse to post the bloody doll through your letter box. Now on to the more serious business, did you mention something about spare cake? have Brew ready Grin

RoseMortmain · 01/04/2012 08:51

Bathsheba, I know what you're saying about saving myself the hassle but considering I'd already been to get more eggs and icing for her cake as I only had enough in to do the original orders, I felt that I'd put myself out enough to help her and if she couldn't be bothered to put in that tiny effort of bringing me the doll then it wasn't actually my problem.

According to friends who were at her daughter's party she'd made the doll cake herself after all but was telling every one she'd had to as a friend let her down at the last minute Angry.

OP posts:
RoseMortmain · 01/04/2012 08:53

Oh, that's everyone. Good thing it's a big cake.

Grin
OP posts:
doubleshotespresso · 03/04/2012 14:23

YANBU

sue52 · 03/04/2012 15:07

She's the one who disappointed her daughter and is blaming you to ease her own guilt. She sounds delightful.

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