To let dd watch ...

[Upsticksandgo]

Supersize v superkinny. DD is 8, a little bit overweight with a liking for all things bad for you. Won't eat fruit and veg, only under duress. Am I wrong to let her watch this programme?

An 8 year old should not be allowed to dictate what she will and wont eat anyway.

Why not give a child respect with food? You wouldn't say to an adult "this is what's for tea, you either eat it or starve" and I don't see why children shouldn't be givent he same courtesy. I would never be so controlling with my DCs, I think that way food issues lie... 'eat this now or don't eat at all' is not going to help anyone imo.

Anyway, OP, I would suggest simply not having any 'rubbish food' in the house - then if your DD wants to eat you know that at least she's eating something healthy. This is what I recently idid in my house but because of me, not the DCs :o

fluffi

I read and re-read it, thinking I'm sure it's right

Mummysblouse I don't know the answer either. She really wanted to watch it and went to bed in tears as we wouldn't let her. So what message does that give?? Part of me thought, why don't I just let her watch is?? DH was adamant she shouldn't - hence the post.

worra there is no way they can play outside - it is a very busy road and I can't see them from the house. They do play in the garden. We are lucky in that we have a big garden, but they still get bored. I don't let her sit and watch TV for hours etc, I make them get up and do something (wii dance for example)!!

why would you do this this is extreme, at 8 still so little and bodies change naturally just eat healthily as a family and exercise and there should not be any probs. Just a note you state like all things that are bad for you, who does the shopping ???

Wibbly are you reading the same thread as everyone else?

I agree with youpassthetwiglets regarding choices, I would never force my child to eat something they genuinely didnt like or make them go hungry because they wont eat something they don't like. Its just a case of plodding away and trying stuff every now and then - but as an adult there are loads of things I don't like, so children can be the same. "Eat or starve" squeaky - how cruel.

Hi Upsticksandgo, I also have an overweight child, DS12 - he never seems hungry, finishes his dinner first and then tries to eat from his siblings plates. He is also a secret eater. It has been a constant worry from the age of about eight years old and I think you are right to be worried if your daughter shows signs of not being able to control her appetite and is a little overweight as a result. It is very different IMO to a child eating normally and having a little bit of puppy fat. Unlike some of the posters I don't thinkyou are blowing it out of proportion, if your instincts tell you something is wrong then I would address it.
WIth my son we initally tried softly, softly - encouraging him to make healthy choices, showing him how to read labels of products in shops showing the calorie count (he is old enough to be out and about on his own with access to convenience stores), teaching him to calculate the food value of something and how it fills him up rather than the empty calories of say fizzy drinks - which he has never been given at home but which his friends drink. The only reason my son is not obese is because he plays some sport and has a long walk to school.
I see no reason why you shouldn't allow your daughter to see programmes which talk about regulating your weight/ eating heathily etc however SvS is just the worst. The way they try and make them realise how wrong the eating patterns are is by swopping their diet - how stupid is that? Swop one dysfunctional diet for another? Ridiculous IMO.
If I were you I would talk to your doctor and see if there could be something (vitamin, mineral etc) lacking inyour daughter's diet that makes her crave food or consider the possibility that she lacks the 'switch' that tells her she is full - we think this might be the case with my son. SHe will then need to be given a different 'cue' to help her to stop eating when she has had enough.

Your natural instinct as a mother is to look after your children. I couldn't let her starve - it's cruel so I agree with passthetwiglets

I believe making her starve gives the wrong message and she will just binge on rubbish when she gets the chance. As I said before it's a fine line. We do say that if she doesn't eat her veg then no yoghurt etc and she is fine with that. She goes without the yoghurt!

imnotmymum I do the shopping - a mixture of healthy stuff and treats. It's a good balance for everyone else. As I said before it's her appetite that is the problem. She is constantly asking for food and I am constantly saying no as I don't believe her to be hungry. I wouldn't starve her. Of course, we have the battles of if you don't eat your dinner there is nothing else etc. She will eat it, eventually. I just don't know what is the best thing to do.

I am sure I need to be more consistent and give her more exercise. As I've said before it is her future I am more worried about and giving her the right message.

knitpicker thank you thank you. Your DS sounds exactly like DD. She is becoming obsessed with food. I dropped some chicken on the floor the other day and as she was helping me tidy up she was eating it! It was 7am in the morning and I was making lunches. I am constantly shouting at her to stop eating things! She clears everyones plates. I am worried about how this will effect her long term. It is very different than a little bit of puppy fat.

How do I go about this though without making her think there is a problem? I am so worried that she goes to the other extreme as she gets older if I create such an issue. If I didn't make her take part in activities (which sometimes she doesn't want to) I would imagine she would be a lot bigger than she is.

It's a minefield. Have you taken your son to see GP?

Maybe you could ask your DD to rate her hunger on a scale of 1-10. So you would expect 7 or more just before a meal, and maybe you offer a healthy snack for a 6 if there's a long wait before the next meal. If she rates less than 6 then she's eating out of boredom or greed and you need to help her find a distraction.

Upsticks

Sorry, no magic wand, but re the dislike of veg- have you tried hiding it in soups and sauces? I do this for mine with the veg they claim not to like. Apologías if this has already been said, don't have time reas all.

Bloody iPhone with it's Spanish attitude, I was trying to say - apologies, and read.

aplogies if you already do this - but why do you have crap food in the house
when you have a problem with what your daughter will eat. - if it is not there she can't eat it, at least in your own home.

chil she won't eat soup of any kind make or form. I do hide carrots in shepherds pie, bolognaise etc, but if she even sees one tiny bit she picks it out and then picks through the rest.

She is a nightmare!

mollymole we don't have that much crap in the house - as i said before it's the size of her appetite that I have a problem with!

Maybe she might be better off eating a larger portion of a normal meal followed by fruit and yoghurt so she's not hungry so quickly?

She sounds like my niece who always seems to want to eat and is getting overweight at 9. She'll eat what is considered a childs portion of a meal but will then want to eat her brothers left overs and is then looking for food later.
She also eats very quickly and I do think she would benefit from eating more slowly (not that I'm claiming to know everything but I do spend a lot of time with her)

When she comes and stays with us, I think her eating is more controlled as she follows her cousins examples and doesn't tend to over eat so much. Also she's too busy having fun to be thinking about food all the time too.

exexe she does eat very quickly. We are constantly telling her to slow down. She is asking for seconds before she has even finished what she has.

What you suggest is good - I may give her a bigger portion then fruit if she needs it later.

My friend's DS who is in her class has an equally large appetite and can never be filled - eats as much as his mum and more. He is very thin though so it must be in his genes or perhaps he is burning it off quicker?

I am no expert, I am just looking for genuine advice to help my DD. I don't want food/weight to be an issue for her as she gets older. The way things are now it looks like it will be.

My DD is fit and healthy. She has a huge appetite and is showing a bit of a tummy due to this. I am looking for ways to manage it. She (as I am sure other kids) would eat 'rubbish' all day. It is very hard work trying to make her see what is healthy and what isn't. I am sure she will get there as we set a good example with what we eat at home.

DD2 is very thin, so I do think it has to do with genes also. She is being brought up the same - same attitude to food and activity. She just never finishes a meal and we have to try and make her eat (otherwise DD1 will hoover her plate!).

So you are force feeding one kid to stop the other eating all her food too.
Thats a good healthy thing to do, rather than let children stop eating when they are full... and to let the eating habits of one child have a direct influence on the other.

Do you actively tell your DD1 she's a bit bigger than you would like? And if you do, do you do it in front of DD2? Have you stopped to think how this might effect both girls.

You are looking for ways to manage what the kids eat and to stop them from eating rubbish all day. Well start off by not having rubbish in the house. If you don't have it in the house, they can't eat it. And if they are that young, then they can't easily buy extra food from elsewhere without your knowledge.

What sounds like is happening, is already a slightly unhealthy relationship with food is developing as a household here.

And what also seems to be the case is you can't see how what you do and the way you express it, might be a massive contributor. Sounds like DD2 might be picking up on you saying to DD1, that too much food is bad...

Could she be saying she is hungry because she's wanting the treat food? I know my son does this. eg:

DS: I'm hungry, can I have a biscuit?
Me: No, you can have a banana.
DS: Oh, then I'm not hungry.

:)

Easy to say, I know, but I would try not to worry too much about her future. You sound like you have your head screwed on properly wrt food so I'm sure your DD will pick up on that from you in time.

I'd also try to help her as soon as you can op. My niece was like a 'well fed child' last year at 8 and now as she's getting older, she is getting fat and is getting teased at school. I really feel for her. She's a lovely and beautiful child but her relationship with food needs to be looked at.
She'll scoff her meals at high speed and then announce 'I'm finished!' like she expects people to say 'well done'. I'm sure thats from her mum insisting she eats her meals or something from when she was younger.

The difference in her case is that her mum is a bit lazy and complains that her dd keeps eating biscuits and crisps. When I suggested she didn't buy them, her response was that she has to have them for guests and then when I suggested she puts them out of reach then her response was that her dd is old enough to find them and get them. She also doesn't really take her out much for any physical activity. :(

hmmthinkingaboutit I am in NO WAY forcing one child to eat so the other doesn't. How very dare you insinuate such a thing. I encourage DD2 to eat her child portion of healthy as she wouldn't eat anything otherwise. At no point is she force fed. A by product of her not eating is that her sister would finish her food, it is certainly not by any means the reason we encourage to eat her dinner.

If you read the entire thread you will see that I have never AT ANY TIME made DD1 aware that I think she is bigger than I would like. I compliment her daily. She sometimes sees things herself, say for examply, when clothes don't fit, but we don't make a big deal of it.

As a household we don't have an unhealthy relationship with food. Quite the opposite.

DD2 from a baby has never had an appetite as big as DD1 so how that could be viewed as being 'picked up' from me is baffling.

I suggest you read all the comments before commenting.
Thanks.

Thanks exexe for your constructive comments. The getting teased at school bit is what I want to try and avoid. DD1 is too a beautiful and lovely child.

I feel for your sister. It is sometimes easier to be lazy after you have been at work all day and just want the kids to stop moaning. I on occasion have given in for an easy life. I know it is wrong. I wouldn't let them eat crisps/biscuits though - we only have these in moderation. DDs would never help themselves - they wouldn't dare!

Upsticksandgo you're very generous but it's not my sister, its my sil so I don't really say anything to her unless she talks about it herself and she doesn't work at all. She genuinely is lazy in all aspects of her life!
I think she encouraged this by sleeping in on weekends and telling her dd to help herself to food for her and her brother in the mornings and letting them help themselves generally for snacks (although she does cook most dinners from scratch)

You sound like you'll try to do the right things so I'm sure your dd will be fine. Good luck!

I think you probably need to tackle portion size rather than change what's she's eating. Portion size has a direct effect on appetite.

Here's a link that explains it nice and simply.

Be prepared for this not to be a quick-fix. It takes a while for a change in eating habits to become second-nature, but while your DD (and you) may find it hard now, as a much healthier adult she will thank you for it.

Best of luck.

Some one told me that if you drink a glass of water before dinner, then you won't eat as much, dont know if that's true or not though?!

If its healthy food she is eating, it's not too much of a problem is it?

I know my DCs are always "starving" when they come home from school- can you have dinner earlier in the evening?

My DCs have fruit when they get home, dinner at 6pm and a warm drink before they go to bed, mind you, they would all go through packets of crisps, chocolate and biscuits and still eat dinner if I let them!

Hi upsticks - I have pm'd you. Most of these people do not understand (especially thinkaboutit!) and I know exactly what your worry is.