To tell this mum to bugger off

[Midnightmoon]

or something along those lines.
I went to pick up Dd1 from school today, I had Dd2 in the buggy and Ds holding the back 'helping'. We were waiting outside and one mum came up to me and started talking. I had never really seen her before though I'd heard she was a gossip, I thought I'd give her the benefit of the doubt as I didn't know her. She had a Ds around the same age as mine and both Dss went off to the playground which is enclosed and we could see them both.
She asked me if I had the car, I said 'Oh No walking today, I'm on ML so we have been walking when it doesn't rain'. She asked where I worked and why I had to use the car. I explained that if I didn't use the car I wouldn't be able to reach the school in time to get Dd.
She asked did we have internet in our house. I said yes, she told me how evil it was.
She asked why my Ds was running around 'so much' (He was running just like her son and like most 2 year olds) so I said he was just playing. She said its because your son has ADHD. I just said well yes he has it but he was just being a normal child. I asked who told her that. she said 'oh around' and shrugged. She then blamed it all on Tv and sugar. Which her children don't even ask for anymore.
She asked where my Dh was. I said he was working. She said 'well if you are a single mum it's okay to share I won't judge and your kids are clean not like X's mum' I said I didn't want too know about X's mum and I wasn't a single mum so it didn't matter anyway.
She asked how old my Dd1 was so I told her she was five and she said oh you must of been young when you had her. She then went on to say but you had a Ds before that didn't you so you were a teenage mother.
I said that was none of her business. She asked if my Dh was the dad too all my Dc's then. I said yes he was and then moved away from her.
She tried too follow me and when she caught up asked
So what happened to your first Ds then, he died didn't he.
I told her too go away as I was not talking about my personal life with her.
She said Oh well it must be a hard thing to talk about. Should I get you a number for a therapist.
The children then came out so I collected Dd1 and Ds and left.
Dh thinks I should of told her to go to hell.
So should I next time?

Ask if the reason she is interested in therapy and AS spectrum disorders is because she displays socially inappropriate behaviour!

Actually I think fuck off is probably the wrong answer whether or not there are MH issues. Clearly there is something very wrong with a person who considers interrogation and stalking acceptable social behaviour, so there is no chance of her being normal.

Terribly upsetting for people around her though. You need someone courageous/thick skinned to approach her and let her know that many people find the interrogation-style technique of striking up conversation to be deeply offensive. At least that would give her the opportunity to change. Though I'm not sure I'd volunteer for the task...

been thinking about this...(not for long but thinking all the same) because i tend to be quite sympathetic in reality to people who display traits of autistic spectrum disorders or mental health issues....i suppose its because i saw the treatment my son got throughout school. (ds has AS among other things....however is quite socially aware, more so than this woman sounds!)

a woman who is quite similar to how you describe op "attached" herself to me for weeks, in the end i had to be quite blunt with her as to why people found her habits rude or annoying. She had no idea. She didnt have the self awareness to understand how other people viewed her. I was never horrible to her, in fact i ended up the only person who would sit with her or talk to her, but im a bit of a mother hen i suppose....upshot is that she was alienating everyone around her with her lack of social skills, and it wasnt her fault. She was clearly on the autistic spectrum.

One day, something happened and the shit hit the fan. I told her very gently what i thought, and she accepted it, got a diagnosis and sent me a thankyou card. We are still in touch, (though she is very hard work and i couldnt tolerate seeing her toooo often!)

my initial answer on this thread wasnt well thought out really was it....because in reality, i dont tell tell anyone to bugger off, especially if its obvious they have some problems.

why not just avoid the woman if you cannot cope with her without being upset. Does anyone speak to her at school?
She could just be totally oblivious to the fact that she upsets people.

i agree vicar- it would definitely prompt a sympathetic response from me

i would be wondering where she had got all that personal information from- unless OP makes it common knowledge, a 'friend' has been a bit indiscreet, and not discerningly so

I agree with Jenny Picollo, teach her a lesson.

Jeepers - someone was at the back of the queue the day they handed out social skills. You should absoloutly tell here to go to hell...as an aside, I think she may have some sort of personality disorder. Hugely toxic person. I bloody hate toxic people.

Do what I did when I had a friend like that...

Mid flow, whilst she was telling me more about my life than I knew, I just casually said: 'Oh, is it true? Someone told me that you'd.....Oh, it doesn't matter, I said that I wouldn't say anything....gotta go...see you'.

It works. Every time.

Well done Vicar in taking time to write your second response

As the mum of a kid with AS I now know where the bullying he has had a times comes from, THE MUMS!

Please don't take the advice to bully the woman by teaching her a lesson or being rude back.

I do recognise that the woman is very rude and annoying though

First Class Loon.
I would sidle up to her on a regular basis just to hear what nutty things she could manage to think of saying next.
And then report them back to MN .
Also, I'd feed her packs of crazy lies (about me or imaginary people) just to see what a meal she could make of them.

Me, I love a Reliable Fruitcake. Makes note to self to Get Life.

BsshBossh- I agree with all you said. Ignore and walk away....

I wouldn't tell her to fuck off. I probably wouldn't tell her to bugger off either.
I had never met her before so I have no idea if she has MH issues.
I could voice too the head my concerns see what she says.

My Ds is 3 and we have been told he definitely is showing signs of ADHD and we have appointments to take him to a specialist who will be able to say properly though the doctor and the nursery are 'confident' ( ) that he will be.
I have had some MH issues in the past

And for the person who asked I have copied this for you from a previous post for you.

Me and Dh were in a car crash 7 years ago. Dh was driving but it wasn't our fault. But our first Ds died because of it. He was 1.6 at the time. Me and Dh where in the front. Ds was in the back.

oh midnight im so sorry that you lost your little boy.

i would just try and avoid her tbh and try not to let her upset you.