to ask all the skint and struggling people: what would help you the most?

[dreamingbohemian]

I think it's clear that a lot of people are struggling right now. I'm on the thread about parents going without food and it's terrible what some people are going through.

It's also clear that there are a lot of judgmental attitudes, and that the government is not all that interested in tackling the problem.

But you can also see a lot of people are sympathetic and want to help, and are horrified that we are returning to a situation where people have to go without food.

There have been a number of good ideas on that thread, but I thought it might be good to start a new thread to not just talk about the problem, but about how we can all try to do something about it -- whether it's signing petitions, putting pressure on the government, or volunteering or donating in our local communities.

So AIBU to start by asking people who are struggling right now to talk about the top one or two things that would help them out the most? So that we are not focusing our attention on things that might not be the most helpful?

Or, on the flip side, is anyone engaged in anything right now that seems to be helping a lot of people?

I don't want to just be horrified, I want to do something...

We have 2 DDs who left school (local comp) with a raft of higher qualifications and extra-curricular achievements. Older DD has had 3 admin/shop jobs, all part-time, all temporary. all finished after set time. She is 21. living at home and not earning. Can't afford to apply for jobs further afield as can't afford to have driving lessons and run a car, and public transport poor here. Can't afford to move out and live independently. DD2 got fed up with nothing here and is in Spain au pairing for 50 euros a week. she wants to come home and go to university, but is scared of the costs of a student loan and we are not in a position financially to help her. What is the future for our youngsters?

Done a blog post developed from what I posted here, with more links:

Austerity Housekeeping - More money saving tips to try

forgot to add - I am the highest earner in this house - not saying much - and I will find out in September if I am being made redundant or not. My redundancy payout will be about 2 weeks pay. If it happens, in a family of four work-able adults, only one of us will have a job. I know what is like to be seriously in debt, to be unable to pay the bills, to go hungry, to hunt under the sofa cushions for money for bread, to live on hand-me downs and charity, and I am but one step away from it all again. I think I am rich now because I can afford to buy DS new clothes instead of second-hand - new clothes from Asda and Tescos but new nonetheless. Is that the reward for working full-time? Being able to buy a £4 t-shirt or a £6 hoodie?
but hell, it's better than not being able to and I remember those days....

I don't know much about the Progressive movement in the US - can you tell us a bit more? Are we talking about Dewey and so on?

VitiminC - that is a great story. Maybe in the past someone was able to do something like that for her, so she's repaying them by helping you. How wonderful to know you can have a proper Passover celebration! I notice you are giving costs in Euros, can I be nosy and ask which country you are in?

I'm in France, seabright

BoffinMum - love your blog! Am signing up to follow!

Boffin -- I think your link is off? It takes me to an edit page I can't access...

In the US, the progressive movement really took off in the late 19th/early 20th centuries. It's something we learn quite a bit about in the US because it was responsible for so much of what we take for granted today. Basically, it emerged in the cities mostly, in response to the horrible living and working conditions brought about by industrialisation, modernisation and mass migrations. Progressive activists called for end to slums and child labour, helped bring in the 8 hour day, exposed abuses in asylums and hospitals. They were fanatically anti-corruption and attacked the big corporate interests and city bosses of the day. They supported women's suffrage and civil rights. They used photography and investigative journalism to shock people into realising how bad things were.

They were appealing because they were sort of middle ground. On the one hand they were ardent reformers, who believed that society was corrupt and inefficient and unjust, and that the massive changes occuring in the country required a rethinking of how to run things. But they were not communists or promoting any extremist ideology other than social justice.

I think we need a Modern Progressive movement. Something that promotes social justice without attachment to a political ideology that could be divisive.

I should say women played a huge role in the Progressive moment, and I don't think that's a coincidence!

Ah, never mind, figured out the link!

boffs blog

the link didnt work for me either

Oh, I love the blog!

Will share on my FB

A lot of good comments and ideas here.

In answer to those who are critical, it might be worth remembering that a LOT of people are only a few pay packets away from losing everything. Many, many people don't have much in the way of savings and losing their job could mean financial disaster.

mishy I would go as far as saying that applies to everyone bar the super rich. I mean billionaires btw. Even those with savings, these savings will only last so long even with living frugally.

Absolutely Hecbasdaughter, I completely agree. It's something some people would do well to remember, judging by a few of the comments on this thread!

Sorry, I did link wrong - thanks Bronze.

would it be good if all Mumsnetters used classified ads for free to pass on thier unwanted stuff?

I got a brilliant bed on freecycle and ones MNer has offered to send me some clothes for my DD. it all helps

Thanks to whoever posted the link to the Mumsnet 'for free' forum. I've posted an offer of 0-3 month baby clothes and bedding

Last year our students union organised a food/homeware donation point for all the students leaving at the end of the year. It got quite a lot of donations, including things like plates and saucepans, especially from the international students going home. It was all then passed onto a local church who distributed it to local people in need.

Is there a university where you are that you could suggest this to? Obviously this would only happen once a year, but it's better than nothing, especially with the homeware part.

Sometimes the best thing to do to help someone who is struggling is to be a listening ear for them, and to offer for them to come round and see you or if you could get together, do a picnic and take it to the park with you, just for some company and it being free, its just sometimes getting out that does the trick!

IME Someone to talk to was worth to me more than all the money in the world!

Also, I need to clear out my wardrobe - where's the best place to donate them/pass them on?

I normally give them to charity shops, but, well, you still need to be able to afford them from there.

You could try asking the sure start centre? They might know of people who need them

The thing with charity shops is that you're never sure whether your donations are going to be 'skimmed' by the volunteers or not.

We litratley have no money this money after paying bills & rent - no back up food in the house as we have eaten it all already and about £7 to our name for me dh and 3 under 6's. i was seriousley wondering what the hell i was going to feed the children.

My sister (full time work v.v low income) comes round out of the blue (havent seen her for weeks) with 3 bags of shopping, a tenner for petrol and a hug.

That ment more to me than anything else in the world.

When we get back on an even keel i will make up some food/nappy parcels and give them to our local sure start centre after paying back sis The volunteers helped me so much and i know that i would have appreciated somone else thinking about me. - Even if it is just nappies cheap shower gel and a galexy ;)

Someone being nice makes you feel so much better mood wise. Just think how different your day can feel if it starts with someone smiling and saying good morning compared to someone telling you to fuck off.

So next time people come across someone lees well off than you are instead of sneering and looking down your nose at them smile and say good morning. Free and you get the feel good factor, win win.

Dreamingbohemian, I have been thinking about the modern progressive movement, and did a little bit of reading (a very little bit!) I realise that, amongst other things, this linked to the idea of teaching housekeeping and child rearing in schools, and the early days of Domestic Science/Home Economics being taught in US universities, which interestingly enough represented the first HE courses for women, and their infiltration into the academy. (I will come back to this in a minute).

Wilena Hitching, the leading English domestic science teacher who influenced my blog, clearly had connections to this movement. I have done quite a bit of digging into her personal history, which nobody else has really pulled together, and I am aware that at the age of 60 she took a ship over to the US, intrepid in itself, and most likely met with her US counterparts, who we know she was in communication with because they wrote recommendations for her school text books, and I believe some correspondence may still exist.

Anyway, coming back to my point, part of this domestic science thrust was the idea of rearing a 'national child' - i.e. healthy offspring that could be put to use economically, militarily or socially, contributing to a stable society. And this is where I start to part company with the movement, as eugenics was a part of its philosophy. I have no reason to believe Wilena Hitching believed in eugenics as a means of 'perfecting' society, but people she clearly admired in the US did, and I am not at all sure how that links with the idea of social justice.

At the moment we seem to have a confused picture. We see disabled people and single parents stigmatised in current welfare reform, which suggests that any relaunch of a modern progressive movement would be leapt upon by the more judgemental, libertarian end of society, rather than one nation Tories and their ilk, whilst blocking many reasonable and non-partisan attempts to improve social justice. Or am I overthinking here?